Invitation to join church playgroup at the Mormon Temple: foreigner in distress!

[Anonymous]

Hi! I recently moved, and I met a very nice mom at the library, we had a couple of playdates at home, and now she invited me to a playgroup she attends at her church (she told me she is involved with the church, her house is full of religious books and pictures, so I assume she is a religious person). I just found out it's at the local Mormon temple. The issue is, I'm a foreigner, I don't know much about playdate/playgroup etiquette in the US, and another small detail: DH and I are both very liberal atheists. I have absolutely nothing against religion, I totally respect everyone's beliefs, but I don't want to be in an awkward position if the playgroup has a religious purpose, and I don't want my son to be influenced. I don't know the mom who invited me enough to talk openly about the issue.

Could you give me an idea about what to expect? Advice?

[Anonymous]

Are you sure it's at the Temple? Because I'm pretty sure that you can't go in if you're not worthy.

[Anonymous]

You just can't go into the religious part. I'd probably beg off. I have lots of mormon friends and go to their homes, but the church can get pretty into recruiting you, so personally, I'd avoid going to a place where the church could get your contact info and send missionaries to your home.

[Anonymous]

DO NOT GO unless you're interested in becoming a Mormon. These people are not befriending you just to have a friend; they WILL try to convert you. First they will tell you alllll about their religion, then they'll give you a DVD to watch and a Book of Mormon to read, then they'll ask you to come to a church service. They are relentless. Believe me, if they weren't trying to convert people, the playgroup wouldn't be at the church.

[Anonymous]

There is not playgroup at the temple children are not allowed there (it's a sacred place only certain members are allowed in) so don't worry about that. It will be at the local meetinghouse (church).
It will be in the gym and there is NO religious component to it at all. It looks like an elementry school gym and there will be riding toys a games for the kids. Play groups are pretty fun and a great way to get to know other moms.

[Anonymous]

It's the same address, I'm sure it's not at the Temple itself, they must have a special room for those events or something at the same location...

[Anonymous]

That's a tough situation, OP.

Maybe try it one day, and if they are all churchy and talking about God, don't go back. You can even explain to the woman that you have different religious beliefs, but would love to continue to foster the friendship with her.

[Anonymous]

You know, I'm an DC almost-native with German background, so my inclination is to just be up front. Like: Hey, I know this is a playdate at a religious institution, but I'm totally comfortable with my beliefs and have no interest in talking about religion or being converted in any way. Can you give me an honest assessment of what the playgroup is like?

[Anonymous]

#ROMNEYFAILRALLY

[Anonymous]

And to the PP who said the only reason it's at the church is to convert people is wrong. It's at the church because its cold outside and it's a free indoor place to stay. Missionaries will not be there and no one will ask for your information to to contact you about joining. They only people in the building at the time will be other moms.

[Anonymous]

I'd go to the playgroup at the temple once, to see what it's all about. If people aren't shoving pamphlets in your hand and asking if you've accepted Jesus as your Savior yet, then keep going back. Hopefully it's just about having a clean, safe space for a slew of kids to play. If they try to convert you, I'd just say, "Thank you so much for inviting us, but this environment is not for me. Thanks again, bye." and gather your kid and walk out. I would politely yet firmly refuse to engage in religious talk while in their temple (the old 'don't insult me in my home') and if the original woman calls you to follow up, I'd just tell her "Look, you and your kids are nice, but I don't want to be preached to. I believe what I believe as strongly as you believe what you believe. We can agree to disagree, but I'm simply not interested in hashing it out. If that works for you, then how's next Thursday at 11am for our next playdate? If it doesn't, then it's been an interesting experience and I wish you and yours well." Boom, that's it.

[Anonymous]

DH and I are Agnostic, and I wouldn't go. I don't like to be pushed about certain things (religion is a biggie), and would not want to put myself in that situation (in front of my child and other children).

[Anonymous]

There's a meeting house next to the temple but not at it. If its the one in MD. But it has a different address

[Anonymous]

OMG OP, really? Are you an atheist or an anti-deist? Because there is a difference, you know.

I am an atheist and I feel like we have different ideologies. I don't believe in god(s) or religion, BUT I actually WANT my children exposed to different religions. If they hear something (and trust me, they WILL, whether you want them to or not), then I welcome the conversation when they ask 'Teacher Marie said that all animals were created by God. But Mommy, you said we evolved from dinosaurs and other animals. How is that?'.

We get to talk about well, in this religion people believe A, and this other religion people believe B, etc. I mean, don't you have religious family members? You don't have to say a prayer before eating at anyone's home, or attend a religious wedding mass?

In fact, if I were in an area without a decent public school, or if one day public school is not a good fit, I would not think twice about sending my children to a religious school for their education (Jewish, Christian, Mormon, whatever). As an atheist I am not going to actively prevent them from experiencing other religions and realizing that people have different beliefs - in fact, I want them to have that exposure, so if they decide at some point that they identify with a certain religion, then I'll support that 100%. They can't do that if they are sheltered from all religion.

So I am really, really missing why a play date at a church or temple is a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DO NOT GO unless you're interested in becoming a Mormon. These people are not befriending you just to have a friend; they WILL try to convert you. First they will tell you alllll about their religion, then they'll give you a DVD to watch and a Book of Mormon to read, then they'll ask you to come to a church service. They are relentless. Believe me, if they weren't trying to convert people, the playgroup wouldn't be at the church.

This is an incorrect statement. We have Mormon friends and neighbors, and not once have they tried to recruit us under the guise of friendship.

Just be upfront with your disinterest in being converted if it comes up in conversation.