Babysitter Doesn't Know Common Things

[Anonymous]

Regardless of the specifics, you are not comfortable with your sitter's common sense. If that's the issue, then you should find another sitter for your children. You say she's an occasional sitter. You don't need to "fire" her, but just find another sitter and stop calling this girl. If she inquires, you can tell her that you want someone with a little more life experience to be watching your children, but chances are, she won't ask.

I think that basic common sense is a requirement for caring for someone else's children. One would presume that if the parent gave you instructions for feeding the children, and you did not know what "ham" or "turkey" was, that you would ask the parent to point out in the refrigerator what you are expected to feed the children. Or if a child asked you for a fruit that you were unsure of, and you handed them the wrong one, that you could hand them the correct one without being upset about it. Etc.

Just find a new sitter.

[Anonymous]

Do you know her socioeconomic background? I had a roommate in college who was from a less well off area and sometimes didn't know "basic" stuff. For example, we were at a mall once and needed a restroom and she didn't know to head for a department store and got defensive about it when it surprised me.

And we have a bowl of fruit on the counter and the nectarines look just like the apples we have right now, not sure what variety they are.

[Anonymous]

14:22 - This is true, I was going to say the same thing. DH grew up with a mother who was raised dirt, dirt poor. She only fed her children the same simple rotation of foods because she grew up with nothing. I am not saying this is a *good* reason, but it is her background story. Growing up so poor made her fanatical about some very arbitrary things, and completely inept at many things. [My father grew up dirt poor and happened to have (very fortunately) had more positive experiences - so it did *not* have to be this way. But I believe mental illness also played a big part, as MIL is definitely depressed, to say the least.]

In DH's family, there was immense pressure for *no change* (!!!!!) in the house, and this is/was especially true of food. He is brilliant (seriously), and does not often know the difference between different foods. Even though they lived abroad and have many experiences, some very random basic stuff is unknown to them. It is bizarre, but mostly I feel bad for him, as if he missed out on really good, really fresh food because of his mother's weirdness about food. FWIW, MIL is still hostile about food (and money too).

Being the root of the *issue* (it really is an issue to grow up that way), it is interesting to see her in action. My young children are very aware of her issues/weirdness, so hearing it from them is well, interesting. Again, its a little sad and extremely unfortunate. Thankfully, DH has grown a lot in the past few years and realizes it is important not to spend money, but to have certain basic experiences (not just bragging rights).

Anyway, it is likely that if the sitter grew up with either poor and/or inept (psychologically absent) parents, she did not have proper nutrition growing up.

How is she with your children, other than food? Is food a deal breaker for you? Are you able to leave notes on the food or is this not practical for you?

I agree you should not have to, just wondering.

[Anonymous]

She didn't know the difference between ham and turkey and she also gave my son a nectarine when he asked for an apple.
When he corrected her, she got really upset and asked how she was supposed to know it wasn't an apple. She also refuses to walk with the kids to the park and insists on driving them so she can use her GPS even though she has been there several times and it is just a couple of blocks away straight down the street.

Am I being too nitpicky for thinking this is really odd?

How old is your son?
I also give my kids nectarines when they ask for apples. Kids must take what they are given and do as they are told.
That is not odd at all

Driving to the park, sounds like a personal preference

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, your sitter is odd. I'm not sure I'd trust her with my children if she's lacking that much common sense.

+1

[Anonymous]

People, forget about nitpicking on whether her upbringing is why she can't distinguish between deli meats. This is someone who can't figure out how to walk 2 blocks to the park!

OP, I would let her go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a heavy pot smoker to me. I had some friends who were smoking up several times a day, and within a few months, they were confused by simple things, easily lost in familiar surroundings, and easily angered.

Don't spread this type of propaganda. It is untrue and has nothing to do with the subject at hand. OP, you do need to find a new sitter. She is responsible for your children when you are not there and she needs to have good judgement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is either an alien or dumb as a rock.

Hey, wait a minute! She does sound like a Man in Black! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men_in_Black

Kidding aside - you know this, OP. No, she isn't capable of being in charge of your children.

[Anonymous]

That is not normal. Could be a learning disability, but if it is that severe, how is she handling attending college, OP? (which college? somewhere competitive or something that might have programs for LD?) Does she live with family or on her own? Does she have trouble reading written words in other situations? How is her driving?

The wanting to drive to the park is really odd - does she have some "hidden" physical disability that makes it hard to walk a few blocks, or is she concerned that she can't find her way back to your house?

You may want to talk to her about this in a kind way - "Mary, I'm concerned that you don't seem to be getting the written instructions - is there another way I can let you know what the kids should be eating for dinner?" I'm sure on some level she is aware that she has limitations that are not typical, but this may clarify things. Definitely go with your gut!

[Anonymous]

"Sounds like a heavy pot smoker to me. I had some friends who were smoking up several times a day, and within a few months, they were confused by simple things, easily lost in familiar surroundings, and easily angered. "

easily angered?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People, forget about nitpicking on whether her upbringing is why she can't distinguish between deli meats. This is someone who can't figure out how to walk 2 blocks to the park!

OP, I would let her go.

+1
the food, I can understand.
Driving to the park just sounds odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Sounds like a heavy pot smoker to me. I had some friends who were smoking up several times a day, and within a few months, they were confused by simple things, easily lost in familiar surroundings, and easily angered. "

easily angered?

I believe for very heavy users, there can be paradoxical anger. The "zombie" attacker who ate the guy's face only had pot in his system, no bath salts. But from the regular users I know, "easily angered" doesn't spring to mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Sounds like a heavy pot smoker to me. I had some friends who were smoking up several times a day, and within a few months, they were confused by simple things, easily lost in familiar surroundings, and easily angered. "

easily angered?

I believe for very heavy users, there can be paradoxical anger. The "zombie" attacker who ate the guy's face only had pot in his system, no bath salts. But from the regular users I know, "easily angered" doesn't spring to mind.

Perhaps I should have specified, easily angered when not actively baked.

[Anonymous]

Definitely weird.

I think it is rare to be that non-functional. I have a child with a language disorder, and he needs often needs me to repeat a request.

It is more probably that she. does. not. care. Gives whatever is in the fridge, because she can't be bothered to remember what the children were supposed to have. Drives because she can't be bothered to walk and remember the way.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like some kind of severe processing disorder.

People with non-verbal processing disorder often get lost, have trouble with numbers etc.

People with William's Syndrome are very social, have incredible hearing, and are musically gifted, and yet they are also developmentally delayed, severely spatially challenged, often get lost, and will never be able to balance a checkbook.

There are people who can't remember what faces look like, people who can't remember names of objects etc.

Is there any way you could speak to her parents?