What is the etiquitte around this?

[Anonymous]

This is not overseas. When in Rome, do as the Romans do, for your OWN benefit! I am second generation and my parents NEVER EVER EVER spoke their tongue in public unless they were talking about someone else in a negative fashion. It is a KNOWN practice. It is NOT a secret. It is amusing to me that the offensive ones are trying to pin it on others when it is the offensive ones being blatantly rude! They know it, but they would never admit it.

What some people do not realize is that in the U.S. you are REQUIRED to take a foreign language. Guess what? Most of the people in the U.S. know EXACTLY what you are saying. Don't be so rude. Didn't your parents teach you anything?
Be proud to be here, or leave. You don't have to be so rude and look so uneducated. You are doing yourself no favors.

I ALWAYS understand what my cleaning people are saying in another tongue, for example. They have NO idea. But one or two of them have been very rude and either lost their jobs or have not come back to my house, that is for sure. Just because I don't LOOK like you doesn't mean I don't know what you are saying. Do be so stupid. And don't assume people don't know when you are saying ridiculous things. We do. And we may just do something about it without you knowing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they are speaking across the room and having full conversations in full view of others who can't understand deliberately when they can use English, yes it is rude.

I am bilingual, though don't speak Spanish. My father always told us when we were kids not to speak in our native language in front of others who couldn't understand unless it was just a few words because it is rude and I have always followed that.

Sometimes, when out in public, I've heard (from a distance) parents speaking a foreign language to their children. When I get a bit closer, and they notice me (for example, at a museum--and I am getting closer to look at the exhibit) I notice they switch to English. I've always thought this is very polite of them.

I suspect it's more to show that they speak English. I speak a foreign language to my children, and don't really care who is around--I certainly wouldn't switch for a stranger standing next to me. One of my neighbors (who is monolingual) always complains. Not sure why she cares if I tell my kid to tie his shoes in another language--it's pretty obivious. Statement=action. Some people are just unecessarily perturbed by it, I think. There are plenty of languages I don't speak (Spanish, for one!), and I don't mind if other speak it around me--especially if they're teaching their native language to their children.

Out of curiosoity--those who were always taught to speak English: did you ""look" American, i.e. white/Cacusian? OJust wondering if that made an impact on parental choices in that sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not overseas. When in Rome, do as the Romans do, for your OWN benefit! I am second generation and my parents NEVER EVER EVER spoke their tongue in public unless they were talking about someone else in a negative fashion. It is a KNOWN practice. It is NOT a secret. It is amusing to me that the offensive ones are trying to pin it on others when it is the offensive ones being blatantly rude! They know it, but they would never admit it.

What some people do not realize is that in the U.S. you are REQUIRED to take a foreign language. Guess what? Most of the people in the U.S. know EXACTLY what you are saying. Don't be so rude. Didn't your parents teach you anything?
Be proud to be here, or leave. You don't have to be so rude and look so uneducated. You are doing yourself no favors.

I ALWAYS understand what my cleaning people are saying in another tongue, for example. They have NO idea. But one or two of them have been very rude and either lost their jobs or have not come back to my house, that is for sure. Just because I don't LOOK like you doesn't mean I don't know what you are saying. Do be so stupid. And don't assume people don't know when you are saying ridiculous things. We do. And we may just do something about it without you knowing.
Wow, just wow...
Calm down, take a deep breath and try again. No one knows what you are trying to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not overseas. When in Rome, do as the Romans do, for your OWN benefit! I am second generation and my parents NEVER EVER EVER spoke their tongue in public unless they were talking about someone else in a negative fashion. It is a KNOWN practice. It is NOT a secret. It is amusing to me that the offensive ones are trying to pin it on others when it is the offensive ones being blatantly rude! They know it, but they would never admit it.

What some people do not realize is that in the U.S. you are REQUIRED to take a foreign language. Guess what? Most of the people in the U.S. know EXACTLY what you are saying. Don't be so rude. Didn't your parents teach you anything?
Be proud to be here, or leave. You don't have to be so rude and look so uneducated. You are doing yourself no favors.

I ALWAYS understand what my cleaning people are saying in another tongue, for example. They have NO idea. But one or two of them have been very rude and either lost their jobs or have not come back to my house, that is for sure. Just because I don't LOOK like you doesn't mean I don't know what you are saying. Do be so stupid. And don't assume people don't know when you are saying ridiculous things. We do. And we may just do something about it without you knowing.

Uhm, ok. Plenty of people who speak multiple languages aren't immigrants washing your windows. Go take your meds.
Not everyone speaking something besides English is interested in discussing you or the slovenly state of your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they are speaking across the room and having full conversations in full view of others who can't understand deliberately when they can use English, yes it is rude.

I am bilingual, though don't speak Spanish. My father always told us when we were kids not to speak in our native language in front of others who couldn't understand unless it was just a few words because it is rude and I have always followed that.

Sometimes, when out in public, I've heard (from a distance) parents speaking a foreign language to their children. When I get a bit closer, and they notice me (for example, at a museum--and I am getting closer to look at the exhibit) I notice they switch to English. I've always thought this is very polite of them.

I suspect it's more to show that they speak English. I speak a foreign language to my children, and don't really care who is around--I certainly wouldn't switch for a stranger standing next to me. One of my neighbors (who is monolingual) always complains. Not sure why she cares if I tell my kid to tie his shoes in another language--it's pretty obivious. Statement=action. Some people are just unecessarily perturbed by it, I think. There are plenty of languages I don't speak (Spanish, for one!), and I don't mind if other speak it around me--especially if they're teaching their native language to their children.

Out of curiosoity--those who were always taught to speak English: did you ""look" American, i.e. white/Cacusian? OJust wondering if that made an impact on parental choices in that sense.

I am white, blond hair and look as American as apple pie but I grew up bilingual and speak English and the other language perfectly.
DH looks more "ethnic" but is often pegged as Spanish which is not even close.

[Anonymous]

There is a simple solution OP. LEARN SPANISH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not overseas. When in Rome, do as the Romans do, for your OWN benefit! I am second generation and my parents NEVER EVER EVER spoke their tongue in public unless they were talking about someone else in a negative fashion. It is a KNOWN practice. It is NOT a secret. It is amusing to me that the offensive ones are trying to pin it on others when it is the offensive ones being blatantly rude! They know it, but they would never admit it.

What some people do not realize is that in the U.S. you are REQUIRED to take a foreign language. Guess what? Most of the people in the U.S. know EXACTLY what you are saying. Don't be so rude. Didn't your parents teach you anything?
Be proud to be here, or leave. You don't have to be so rude and look so uneducated. You are doing yourself no favors.

I ALWAYS understand what my cleaning people are saying in another tongue, for example. They have NO idea. But one or two of them have been very rude and either lost their jobs or have not come back to my house, that is for sure. Just because I don't LOOK like you doesn't mean I don't know what you are saying. Do be so stupid. And don't assume people don't know when you are saying ridiculous things. We do. And we may just do something about it without you knowing.

Xanax--STAT!!

p.s. Foreign language does not automatically = Spanish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they are speaking across the room and having full conversations in full view of others who can't understand deliberately when they can use English, yes it is rude.

I am bilingual, though don't speak Spanish. My father always told us when we were kids not to speak in our native language in front of others who couldn't understand unless it was just a few words because it is rude and I have always followed that.

Sometimes, when out in public, I've heard (from a distance) parents speaking a foreign language to their children. When I get a bit closer, and they notice me (for example, at a museum--and I am getting closer to look at the exhibit) I notice they switch to English. I've always thought this is very polite of them.

I suspect it's more to show that they speak English. I speak a foreign language to my children, and don't really care who is around--I certainly wouldn't switch for a stranger standing next to me. One of my neighbors (who is monolingual) always complains. Not sure why she cares if I tell my kid to tie his shoes in another language--it's pretty obivious. Statement=action. Some people are just unecessarily perturbed by it, I think. There are plenty of languages I don't speak (Spanish, for one!), and I don't mind if other speak it around me--especially if they're teaching their native language to their children.

Out of curiosoity--those who were always taught to speak English: did you ""look" American, i.e. white/Cacusian? OJust wondering if that made an impact on parental choices in that sense.

I am white, blond hair and look as American as apple pie but I grew up bilingual and speak English and the other language perfectly.
DH looks more "ethnic" but is often pegged as Spanish which is not even close.

What's the other language? I'm German, but also speak Japanese fluently, thanks to having grown up there. The German seems obvious from my appearance, the other leaves people .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not overseas. When in Rome, do as the Romans do, for your OWN benefit! I am second generation and my parents NEVER EVER EVER spoke their tongue in public unless they were talking about someone else in a negative fashion. It is a KNOWN practice. It is NOT a secret. It is amusing to me that the offensive ones are trying to pin it on others when it is the offensive ones being blatantly rude! They know it, but they would never admit it.

What some people do not realize is that in the U.S. you are REQUIRED to take a foreign language. Guess what? Most of the people in the U.S. know EXACTLY what you are saying. Don't be so rude. Didn't your parents teach you anything?
Be proud to be here, or leave. You don't have to be so rude and look so uneducated. You are doing yourself no favors.

I ALWAYS understand what my cleaning people are saying in another tongue, for example. They have NO idea. But one or two of them have been very rude and either lost their jobs or have not come back to my house, that is for sure. Just because I don't LOOK like you doesn't mean I don't know what you are saying. Do be so stupid. And don't assume people don't know when you are saying ridiculous things. We do. And we may just do something about it without you knowing.

here? where? DC? Where should I go back to? New Jersey?

[Anonymous]

Workplace probably wouldn't bother me. What makes me crazy is that my ILs all speak their native language, even when they are clearly talking about me (and they are all very well educated and know English - that had careers where they used English every day.)

[Anonymous]

It IS rude. I lived in S. FL for a while and a couple of times Puerto Ricans or Cubans would let me know that if I needed a Spanish speaker for a client I was welcome to come to them and they made it an un-official policy of the office that they would NOT speak Spanish unless speaking with someone who did not understand English.

I really appreciated it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. I don't get the people claiming this is rude, and I'm not a Spanish speaker. How is this any more rude than any other private conversation you are not a part of, or any other private conversation in low tones that you cannot access? Do you expect to be included or privy to every conversation in your workplace? Of course not! You act as if they are somehow speaking Spanish in order to get your goat. C'mon.

Explain to me how this is rude. Really. Break it down for me. And why in the world would you leave the room? Is this Fifth Grade? Can you not be alone for 15 seconds with your thoughts?

Grow up, dear. People speaking their native tongue is not about you. They are probably talking about the weather. And face your inner bigot. Because that's what this is really about.

I agree. I don't speak anything other than English but I see this often and it doesn't bother me at all. It's their native tongue. Get over it. Unless you are in a meeting it's not rude. You are pretty close minded OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they are speaking across the room and having full conversations in full view of others who can't understand deliberately when they can use English, yes it is rude.

I am bilingual, though don't speak Spanish. My father always told us when we were kids not to speak in our native language in front of others who couldn't understand unless it was just a few words because it is rude and I have always followed that.

Sometimes, when out in public, I've heard (from a distance) parents speaking a foreign language to their children. When I get a bit closer, and they notice me (for example, at a museum--and I am getting closer to look at the exhibit) I notice they switch to English. I've always thought this is very polite of them.

I suspect it's more to show that they speak English. I speak a foreign language to my children, and don't really care who is around--I certainly wouldn't switch for a stranger standing next to me. One of my neighbors (who is monolingual) always complains. Not sure why she cares if I tell my kid to tie his shoes in another language--it's pretty obivious. Statement=action. Some people are just unecessarily perturbed by it, I think. There are plenty of languages I don't speak (Spanish, for one!), and I don't mind if other speak it around me--especially if they're teaching their native language to their children.

Out of curiosoity--those who were always taught to speak English: did you ""look" American, i.e. white/Cacusian? OJust wondering if that made an impact on parental choices in that sense.

I am white, blond hair and look as American as apple pie but I grew up bilingual and speak English and the other language perfectly.
DH looks more "ethnic" but is often pegged as Spanish which is not even close.

What's the other language? I'm German, but also speak Japanese fluently, thanks to having grown up there. The German seems obvious from my appearance, the other leaves people .

DH and I both grew up speaking Slovak. We also can get by in a smattering of other east european languages.
Slovak is not very common... there's a small community here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they are speaking across the room and having full conversations in full view of others who can't understand deliberately when they can use English, yes it is rude.

I am bilingual, though don't speak Spanish. My father always told us when we were kids not to speak in our native language in front of others who couldn't understand unless it was just a few words because it is rude and I have always followed that.

Sometimes, when out in public, I've heard (from a distance) parents speaking a foreign language to their children. When I get a bit closer, and they notice me (for example, at a museum--and I am getting closer to look at the exhibit) I notice they switch to English. I've always thought this is very polite of them.

I suspect it's more to show that they speak English. I speak a foreign language to my children, and don't really care who is around--I certainly wouldn't switch for a stranger standing next to me. One of my neighbors (who is monolingual) always complains. Not sure why she cares if I tell my kid to tie his shoes in another language--it's pretty obivious. Statement=action. Some people are just unecessarily perturbed by it, I think. There are plenty of languages I don't speak (Spanish, for one!), and I don't mind if other speak it around me--especially if they're teaching their native language to their children.

Out of curiosoity--those who were always taught to speak English: did you ""look" American, i.e. white/Cacusian? OJust wondering if that made an impact on parental choices in that sense.

I am white, blond hair and look as American as apple pie but I grew up bilingual and speak English and the other language perfectly.


DH looks more "ethnic" but is often pegged as Spanish which is not even close.

What's the other language? I'm German, but also speak Japanese fluently, thanks to having grown up there. The German seems obvious from my appearance, the other leaves people .

DH and I both grew up speaking Slovak. We also can get by in a smattering of other east european languages.
Slovak is not very common... there's a small community here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they are speaking across the room and having full conversations in full view of others who can't understand deliberately when they can use English, yes it is rude.

I am bilingual, though don't speak Spanish. My father always told us when we were kids not to speak in our native language in front of others who couldn't understand unless it was just a few words because it is rude and I have always followed that.

Sometimes, when out in public, I've heard (from a distance) parents speaking a foreign language to their children. When I get a bit closer, and they notice me (for example, at a museum--and I am getting closer to look at the exhibit) I notice they switch to English. I've always thought this is very polite of them.

I suspect it's more to show that they speak English. I speak a foreign language to my children, and don't really care who is around--I certainly wouldn't switch for a stranger standing next to me. One of my neighbors (who is monolingual) always complains. Not sure why she cares if I tell my kid to tie his shoes in another language--it's pretty obivious. Statement=action. Some people are just unecessarily perturbed by it, I think. There are plenty of languages I don't speak (Spanish, for one!), and I don't mind if other speak it around me--especially if they're teaching their native language to their children.

Out of curiosoity--those who were always taught to speak English: did you ""look" American, i.e. white/Cacusian? OJust wondering if that made an impact on parental choices in that sense.

I am white, blond hair and look as American as apple pie but I grew up bilingual and speak English and the other language perfectly.
DH looks more "ethnic" but is often pegged as Spanish which is not even close.

What's the other language? I'm German, but also speak Japanese fluently, thanks to having grown up there. The German seems obvious from my appearance, the other leaves people .

DH and I both grew up speaking Slovak. We also can get by in a smattering of other east european languages.
Slovak is not very common... there's a small community here.

Sloak is probably pretty "safe"...more than German, for sure.

I hadve a friend who is blonde haired/blue eyed...and speaks Lingala and Kikongo (both are Bantu languages ), thanks to Christian missionary parents and 20+ yrs in the region. Now that's esoteric!