What is the etiquitte around this?

[Anonymous]

There are seveal people in my workplace who are Spanish speakers. Some of them are native speakers and some are second language learners. When they are together they speak Spanish to the exclusion of the others in the room. Several times I have been alone in a room while they are speaking together in Spanish. I find this totally rude and many times I simply leave the room due to discomfort. Do you think they just don't understand how rude they are being or they simply don't care?

[Anonymous]

I think some are unaware. But some who do it knowing it is rude. We have a guy who speaks a foreign language when he wants to talk about others in the room.

[Anonymous]

That's super rude, especially in the workplace.

[Anonymous]

I don't get it. I don't get the people claiming this is rude, and I'm not a Spanish speaker. How is this any more rude than any other private conversation you are not a part of, or any other private conversation in low tones that you cannot access? Do you expect to be included or privy to every conversation in your workplace? Of course not! You act as if they are somehow speaking Spanish in order to get your goat. C'mon.

Explain to me how this is rude. Really. Break it down for me. And why in the world would you leave the room? Is this Fifth Grade? Can you not be alone for 15 seconds with your thoughts?

Grow up, dear. People speaking their native tongue is not about you. They are probably talking about the weather. And face your inner bigot. Because that's what this is really about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. I don't get the people claiming this is rude, and I'm not a Spanish speaker. How is this any more rude than any other private conversation you are not a part of, or any other private conversation in low tones that you cannot access? Do you expect to be included or privy to every conversation in your workplace? Of course not! You act as if they are somehow speaking Spanish in order to get your goat. C'mon.

Explain to me how this is rude. Really. Break it down for me. And why in the world would you leave the room? Is this Fifth Grade? Can you not be alone for 15 seconds with your thoughts?

Grow up, dear. People speaking their native tongue is not about you. They are probably talking about the weather. And face your inner bigot. Because that's what this is really about.

wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. I don't get the people claiming this is rude, and I'm not a Spanish speaker. How is this any more rude than any other private conversation you are not a part of, or any other private conversation in low tones that you cannot access? Do you expect to be included or privy to every conversation in your workplace? Of course not! You act as if they are somehow speaking Spanish in order to get your goat. C'mon.

Explain to me how this is rude. Really. Break it down for me. And why in the world would you leave the room? Is this Fifth Grade? Can you not be alone for 15 seconds with your thoughts?

Grow up, dear. People speaking their native tongue is not about you. They are probably talking about the weather. And face your inner bigot. Because that's what this is really about.

+1

Do you want to be included in every single one of my conversations? If someone asks me about my weekend trip that you didn't know I took does that hurt your feelings? How is it any different than someone coming to my cube and talking to me in a whisper? We are not talking about you at all until we notice you leave the room everytime we talk.

[Anonymous]

I think it's rude.

It's basically clique-like behavior, and that's not good for a team of colleagues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's rude.

It's basically clique-like behavior, and that's not good for a team of colleagues.

Yes, it is clique-like behavior but I doubt the OP would be complaining about co-workers excluding her from the lastest conversation about the Redskins or their weekend. She needs to grow up.

[Anonymous]

How is it clique-like behavior? Do they purposely exclude others? Or is just a language barrier?

[Anonymous]

Rude if it's in a mtg or a group session. Not rude if it's around the lunch table and so it's just social chit chat.

[Anonymous]

If they are speaking across the room and having full conversations in full view of others who can't understand deliberately when they can use English, yes it is rude.

I am bilingual, though don't speak Spanish. My father always told us when we were kids not to speak in our native language in front of others who couldn't understand unless it was just a few words because it is rude and I have always followed that.

[Anonymous]

If they are already speaking Spanish and you walk into the room and they continue/finish their conversation, I don't think it's that big of a deal. However, it does seem rude if they start a conversation with you sitting right there in Spanish and ignore you. Like if you all come in and are waiting for a meeting to start and they start chatting or making small talk in Spanish and you sit there staring at them. Or what has bothered me in the past in a similar situation was when I was talking to one person and another person comes up and starts speaking in Spanish (when that person and the person I'm talking too speak English perfectly well). It's just rude to all of the sudden exclude someone who was previously involved in the conversation!

I also once had a boss who spoke another language and would take personal calls right in the middle of us discussing something (heaven forbid so call her friend back in a few minutes) and would talk in the foreign language freely with her friend knowing that I couldn't understand and wasn't able to understand her personal stuff. Since I couldn't understand she would talk and talk and talk.

I don't think you sound like a bigot like one of the PPs said. You sound like a person who is a team player and wants to have a good relationship with your co-workers but can't because they exclude you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they are speaking across the room and having full conversations in full view of others who can't understand deliberately when they can use English, yes it is rude.

I am bilingual, though don't speak Spanish. My father always told us when we were kids not to speak in our native language in front of others who couldn't understand unless it was just a few words because it is rude and I have always followed that.

+1, I grew up ESOL too and my mother taught me the same thing.
I will admit, DH and I speak our 'native' language to each other when we want to talk about people or if we want to say something snarky and we are in public. We also use it when it is convenient to speak privately in a public place (for example, negotiating at a car dealership) and don't want the other person to know what we are saying. However, I would never speak anything but English at work. It seems exclusionary and rude to do otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they are speaking across the room and having full conversations in full view of others who can't understand deliberately when they can use English, yes it is rude.

I am bilingual, though don't speak Spanish. My father always told us when we were kids not to speak in our native language in front of others who couldn't understand unless it was just a few words because it is rude and I have always followed that.

+1, I grew up ESOL too and my mother taught me the same thing.
I will admit, DH and I speak our 'native' language to each other when we want to talk about people or if we want to say something snarky and we are in public. We also use it when it is convenient to speak privately in a public place (for example, negotiating at a car dealership) and don't want the other person to know what we are saying. However, I would never speak anything but English at work. It seems exclusionary and rude to do otherwise.

Don't always assume that the car salesman (or whoever you are trying to exclude) does not speak your language...
I don't look Hispanic, and I've had people speak Spanish to each other in front of me, not knowing that I understood every word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they are speaking across the room and having full conversations in full view of others who can't understand deliberately when they can use English, yes it is rude.

I am bilingual, though don't speak Spanish. My father always told us when we were kids not to speak in our native language in front of others who couldn't understand unless it was just a few words because it is rude and I have always followed that.

+1, I grew up ESOL too and my mother taught me the same thing.
I will admit, DH and I speak our 'native' language to each other when we want to talk about people or if we want to say something snarky and we are in public. We also use it when it is convenient to speak privately in a public place (for example, negotiating at a car dealership) and don't want the other person to know what we are saying. However, I would never speak anything but English at work. It seems exclusionary and rude to do otherwise.

Don't always assume that the car salesman (or whoever you are trying to exclude) does not speak your language...
I don't look Hispanic, and I've had people speak Spanish to each other in front of me, not knowing that I understood every word.

Actually this has happened to me too and I thnk I look Hispanic but have been told I look Asian. ????