Not able to swing private school for all DC

[Anonymous]

Just do what they did at your grandmothers time. Spend your fortune on educating the sons
Daughters can go public, they will marry and be stay at home wives

[Anonymous]

Send them all to public. You can't afford private.

[Anonymous]

I would not send 2 children to private and one to public. I think you are setting up all kids of issues among siblings and backlash against yourselves down the road. We have two in private now and I can honestly say that one would do fine in public, but the potential issues the difference in treatment may create isn't worth the saved money. I understand that your situation is the reverse of mine, but if I found myself in your shoes, I would move and put both of my kids in public school.

[Anonymous]

Do some people get financial aid for multiple children? or Financial aid at each school?

[Anonymous]

Totally disagree with 16:08 -we have one in public and one in private. Now, we did let the public school child look at private schools and make their own decision to stay where they were, which is perfect for them, but NOT perfect for the other child for a number of reasons, including the structure - class size issue. Both kids are very well adjusted socially, but in a class setting, one is not intimidated (and may even be buoyed) by a big class, but the other just goes quiet and sits at the back of the room. Each is definitely in the right place now.

[Anonymous]

first come, first served
Only send the oldest son

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:23:11 Almost everyone I know has a well adjusted second child and a 1st child who has more difficulties. If not it is because they had a lot of experience with children before having their own, had a super well adjusted child regardless of what they did, or had a special needs child second. It is often written that 2nd children are better adjusted, better at sports, and do better in school. I think this has a lot to do with parents always being a little behind the curve with the 1st and the 1st having to pave the way by him or herself with fewer opportunities to see what lays just ahead for them. I competely agree that my second child could do well anywhere and my 1st needs most of my attention but this is partly because I can handle the second child much better from experience with the first. Think of it as a compliment verses resenting your sibling. I'm guessing your parent's choices didn't mean you couldn't ask for help when you needed it.

I wouldn't say it is a compliment, I would say it just is. I have often pondered the irony of the fact that having less attention made me more resilient and prepared for life, and, as a result, more "successful" as an adult. However, I do often wonder if it is really that the first child isn't as resilient, but just rather that the parent never lets them find out. As an adult, I was shocked at how my older brother had been protected from some of the realities of our childhood -- my parent's money struggles, etc. that they never bothered hiding from me. As an adult, my brother was actually chagrined that they hadn't been more open with him, and he felt guilty, in retrospect, for some of his behavior. He is not an insensitive person, so I don't think he was being purposefully obtuse.

Because I was in this position myself, it's made me more sensitive to it in others, and I can't tell you how many people I know who favor their oldest child in this way. I think it is just natural to focus on the child that is hitting novel, and seemingly, more important milestones. Just note that, even though you view it as the second child needing less of your attention because you have the experience from the first, your second child may not see it that way. I give my mother credit for being wise enough to seeing what happened, and being big enough to apologize. She said that she was sorry for leaving me to deal with so many things on my own, but that she just "always assumed that I would be ok," and that that wasn't fair. FWIW, my mother and I actually had a great relationship as adults.

I am a middle child and want to thank you for writing this.

[Anonymous]

My first born (the one in public school from my prior post) is even keel, super nice, not ruffled by anything (including large classes). My second (the one in private school) is more sensitive in groups. But one additional reason one is in private and one is in public could be the peer group. First born's was great - every single kid in that large public school grade of about 125 kids is a fundamentally good kid. And now in middle school with literally 750 in the grade, still no complaints. In the class born two years later -- there are various issues, including several bullies in the class and a few other kids who require inordinate attention to control behavioral issues. Not all parents do things by birth order. And not all situations fit what we hoped...

[Anonymous]

Any change that your kids are divided by gender, OP ? I ask because I knew many Catholic familes growing up that sent their boys ot Public, but their girls to Catholic school becuase, as they saw it, their boys needed to be a little rough around the edges to be successful in life, but they prefered to shelter their girls from rougher elements. In today's world, you could justify private for a boy in that most publics teach to the girl or justify prvate for ypur girl as privates focus on building girls into leaders ( set that expectation)

[Anonymous]

OP, are you currently getting financial aid at the children's school(s)? If not, apply and maybe the aid awarded enables number 3 to go to private school.

[Anonymous]

We're doing this and I know others in the same situation. It is what it is. We have a very good public school, and we're confident that it will be OK for the youngest child. The older child is staying at private and that's fine too. It's not a purely financial decision because the kids' needs are different, but money is a factor. I attended tons of schools and know that each of them offered me something and that I got something out of each of them, and I know the kids will too.