Anyone worry about their average child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think maybe you and OP need to let your kids choose their own future, even if it isn't "what you want for your kid."

No, no not what I meant at all. I am sorry that this took off on a college thread or people think I am trying to plan his future. I was just asking for BTDT about MS & HS. More like....he is going to get " c's" and is that okay. I guess I really meant that I can ask, supervise, hover, hound whatever to get the work done or should I just let him do whAt he wants, how much he wants, knowing that he will struggle and get c's. of course, I know he is young and has many years ahead. I am not a tiger mom at all. Well, I got lots of good feedback and support so thank you all. He is a beautiful soul, really, and that counts for something. He is the kind of kid when you give him a piece of toast he says " mom, that was the best toast ever." I want him to keep that spirit and also find a way to encourage him to do just a bit better with school simply because I know he can. Again, thank you all!

This made me tear up a bit. Your son sounds like mine. Also finishing 6th grade and is slowly tanking in English at his very good IB DCPS. It is very hard to just let them be "whatever". You are a great mom. Remember that, please.

to the OP: you have a role in helping your son find his interests, we all have interests. Sports, music, maybe he's a people person with a good personality - he can go far with that. Good work habits, emotional intelligence, these things count for a great deal in life. What he cannot do is spend an inordinate amount of time on the video games. IMHO, that is a brain cell killer and those kids can wind up in the parents basement at 25 with minimum wage job if that - believe me, I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if that's the kid's choice fine - I'm not paying for prep classes, tutoring, trips to the museums, zoos, music lessons etc. so the kid can come home in a box.

You're a real shit. I hope - pray - Karma comes around and bites you in your pathetic self-absorbed ass.

ITA. Perhaps the other poster can tell us exactly what ROI is needed on a kid before they are worth rearing.

[Anonymous]

I would continue to push. Your child is young still. But he needs to try hard and learn how to work. Also look into ADD or ADHD.

[Anonymous]

WPP

[Anonymous]

OP--do you think your son is bright and is cognitively capable of doing better in school, and is being held back by something? I get the impression that the feedback you are getting from his teachers is that he is perhaps underperforming and is not producing work that is on par with is understanding of the material.

Or, do you think his grades are an accurate representation of his grasp of the material and he just isn't "smart" in the way that leads to academic success?

I think each of these scenarios calls for a different reaction. If it is the first, you need to further explore how to address these issues and maybe undo some of the damage that has come from years of negative messaging he's received about himself.

If it is the second, then you can help him figure out where his talents are. There are many different kinds of intelligence, and for some people, they are talented in ways that just aren't rewarded in a school setting but which could lead them to be highly successful adults. Either way, I would work to help him find arenas in his life where he can excel, whether it is fixing things around the house, cooking meals, artistic pursuits, sports, whatever.

[Anonymous]

NP here, and i haven't read every single line of previous posts, so please bear with me here. But I am married to your average child, and he's doing great. To think about:
-Do you think he comes across as average because he doesn't have ONE thing that he EXCELS at like his sibling? Not everyone knows their passion at age 12. DH was an "average" kid born to a painfully introverted mother, uninvolved workaholic father, and bookworm older brother. In any other family, he would not have stood out from the crowd, but he was like the black sheep of the family. Only because he had a very different personality.
-Allow him to do his own thing - albeit NOT video games all day. Regardless of how good he is. Let him know that he is loved and respected just as much, otherwise he's going to grow up thinking "I am not as good/smart/etc as brother. I suck, and will always suck, so why try?" It has taken years to overcome this attitude.
-Do not push him to excel in things he loves. Sometimes you love to do something even though you are only so-so. My brother was a great soccer player - until my parents pushed and pushed and pushed and one day he decided he couldn't take the pressure (turned to drugs instead, yay).

I think my inlaws tried to "push" DH and help him find his "thing" too much (parents did the same with brother). It backfires in the end. Let him just be a kid who likes video games. Pretty soon he'll be a kid who likes girls and you will long for these simple days.