Mom of a 35-weeker here. Same thing. Can't remember exactly when but defintiely while I was on maternity, so certainly within the first twelve weeks. Oh, and we have hardwood floors. No carpet. I was sick to my stomach, called the doc, wanted to throw up. I was convinced I did major damage. I spent 12 tense hours watching every breathe, every eye move, convinced any minute I would see signs of a brain bleed or something. Then, later, when she was learnign to walk, I had her walk in the living room because I figured the hardwoods were softer than the tile in the kitchen and the concrete and tile in the basement. She fell over onto the brick on the hearth. Sick again. I finally started making a joke. Every time she hit her head, I would say, "There goes another 50 IQ points." I had to make a joke because it would tear me up inside otherwise. It sucks. It is so stressful. You try so hard to be careful, especially when you know they started out a little bumpy by not being full term. That little preemie is now in third grade, at the top of her class in school, and a great athlete. Hugs, OP. Breathe. I promise, it will get easier, especially when you learn to laugh a little and not to be so hard on yourself. It will all be ok. |
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The mean posters may never have had this experience. Every mom who has been through this knows the feeling. When your helpless, seemingly fragile falls from a high place (that you left him or her on), the feeling of guilt and fear is simply overwhelming. The two things that help are (1) reassurances from people who have been trough it that baby will be just fine and (2) time to see baby recover and get over the guilt.
OP you're not alone and I'm glad you posted. It happened to my baby last month and I too felt like the worst mother ever. Take heart and hope everything is just fine! |
| Don't be so hard on yourself!!! If the exact same thing hasn't happened to ALL of us, then something just as egregious has. I'm sure you are a great mom!!! Don't feel bad. It was an accident. |
Good post!! It will get easier op. don't beat yourself up especially on mother's day! |
Hey OP, when I clicked on this thread I was hoping that someone did something so terrible that I would feel better about myself. But pretty much everyone's kid has fallen off the bed/table/dryer, etc. Come back when you actually do something, awful, okay?
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+ 1 and now she's wacking her head all over the place, all by herself. |
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Thanks everyone -- op here. When we left the nicu, I was so full of how I was always going to protect him from everything, except for, apparently, me. I'm so worried about his little brain and then I drop him on it.
Thank you for making me feel less alone. I've never needed other women and other mothers in the way I have since I became a mom. Who knew. I appreciate all of your kindness and am so glad everyone's kiddos are healthy and happy. Happy mothers day to all of you. |