Child Injured by another child on playground. Who do you expect to contact you and how?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. There is nothing in my first post that says anything about the other kid. Those of you are commenting on the other kid are having your own side conversation here! My kid did not move when the other kid told him to move (they were sitting in the sandbox). She intentionally kicked him in the face. She also drew blood from another child a few weeks earlier with her fingernails. I simply asked how you would expect to be communicated to and by whom, if your 5 y.o. is kicked in the face by another kid. I am not happy with how I was communicated with about it and don't think I should have received a vague email from a nurse who was not present, saying "from what I heard," with the suggestion that I get details from my child. I think I should have been communicated with directly from a teacher or someone who had the entire story. If you are going to email me about something that happened to my dc, give me details and facts not a piece of the story.

What is it that you want them to tell you? The only thing you can expect to hear in a situation like this is that your kid got kicked in the face, a description of the injuries and the steps they took to treat it. It's not an emergency and there's not much of a story here, so it seems fine that a nurse e-mailed you. I wouldn't have even expected that unless there were some serious injuries. And, the reason you have to Te the story from your kid is that the school is barred from telling you anything about the other kid, which as you point out, has been discussed ad nauseum. I just don't see what else you thought you should have been told.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. There is nothing in my first post that says anything about the other kid. Those of you are commenting on the other kid are having your own side conversation here! My kid did not move when the other kid told him to move (they were sitting in the sandbox). She intentionally kicked him in the face. She also drew blood from another child a few weeks earlier with her fingernails. I simply asked how you would expect to be communicated to and by whom, if your 5 y.o. is kicked in the face by another kid. I am not happy with how I was communicated with about it and don't think I should have received a vague email from a nurse who was not present, saying "from what I heard," with the suggestion that I get details from my child. I think I should have been communicated with directly from a teacher or someone who had the entire story. If you are going to email me about something that happened to my dc, give me details and facts not a piece of the story.

No, you've mentioned the other child before

Child went to nurse. Other child taken to the office. She has hurt other kids before.

and you mention the other child in the above post (bolded). Why do you bother if you're only interested in how the school communicates with you about your own child?

You don't need the details of what happened. What would you do with them anyway? The school took care of your child and informed you of the incident. You have all that you need to know. I say this as a mother whose first grader was punched in the nose by a child when she refused to share something with him. I got a call from the school nurse that she'd been punched in the nose by another student. She was upset and crying but there was no blood, no broken skin, they had an ice pack on it and she seemed to be fine. That was it. The nurse certainly wasn't there and she certainly didn't have the details of the incident but she told me what I needed to know. I got all the details from my DD and some other kids but did not follow up with the teacher or administrators becuase my DD was fine and how they handle the incident with the other boy is not my business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your pre-k child is injured (kicked in the mouth) by another child while playing on the playground (in sandbox), by whom and how do you expect to be contacted? Child was hurt and crying (but not seriously injured). Teachers came to see what happened, when another child told them what happened. TIA.

Why? Are you planning on suing?

[Anonymous]

The nurse should inform you of injuries to your child - right away if they are urgent or in a note if your child was "treated and released." I would say "hurt and crying" but "not seriously injured" merits a note or an FYI email/call but that's it. (Honestly I would think a kick to the face would create enough injury that you would have had to go in but perhaps the "kick" wasn't as violent as is being oresented) You don't need the soap opera story - just the details about your child's injury. It is the school's job to handle the offender. You can teach your child to stand up for himself or get help with a situation if he needs it but leave the discipline to the school. If you know that this child hurt someone else last week, clearly the gossip factor is at work or you are basing things on "a piece of the story" from your child.

[Anonymous]

I think OP is right that it was inappropriate to send a vague email about an injury. It is more likely the school would get a straight story from the child (or other children present) immediately following the incident. This happened once to my son in 2nd grade or so. They were playing tag outside, on blacktop. Somehow during the game, my ds knocked a girl down when someone bumped into him as he was tagging her. Initially, the incident was handled as if my ds was being too rough. After a trip to the principal (in which all kids involved went) it came out that even the injured admitted it was an accident. My point here, the school worked out what happened, and called me to indicate my son had been called down, but that he was not "in trouble" .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised at the nonchalant responses of most parents here.

It seems like OP indicated that the child who kicked her DC has hurt other children before; if that's the case, it also sounds like the kick may have been intentional.

OP, I would bring the incident up to the assistant principal or principal, to see if you can learn more about what happened, and also and ask if anything is being done to help the child doing the kicking. I did this when my DD mentioned that a certain little girl was mean to her and would hit her. Turns out the hitter was known to be "fussy" and would sometimes pick on little kids. Teachers/asst prinicpal assured me that the hitter, who was older, was moving to the next class up shortly, and also watched to keep my DD and the hitter separated as much as possible in the interim. I later learned from other parents that this child has some behavioral issues and the school was working with the parents to get outside consultation.

I expect if my DD is hitting, biting, etc, that teachers will tell me so I can help address the issue (and at my DD's school, they do); you should expect the same at your school, that the teachers will alert the parents of the kicker.

But all of these things are issues for the parents of the kicker, not for you. It's really none of your business. If your child is getting repeatedly kicked, then you can ask the school what they are doing to keep your child safe, but how they are working with another child is not your business.

Exactly! It's not your business what's going on with the other child. You also shouldn't gossip with other parents about children that are not your own.

Ok, now I get it… a lot of the posters here are parents of “kickers”, and they feel upset that another parent would know this. Don’t know what to say to this except, too bad – if my child tells me someone is kicking or hitting her, it is most certainly my responsibility to make sure this does not continue to happen, and to know that steps are being taken to thatend. As part of that, I will most definitely ask about what is being done, which includes asking what is being done to help the kicker.

If you don’t want others to know about your kid’s poor behavior and take the proper steps to ensure their own child’s safety, I suggest you take your child out of school and home school – that’s they only way you’ll be able to keep this kind of thing under wraps.

And, I don’t gossip with other parents; rather, I heard another parent mentioning a similar incident involving the same child to the principal as I was taking my child to class. When I was leaving, another parent had stopped to contribute their experience with, again, same child, and mentioned that she’d learned from the parents that they were seeking help for that child.

[Anonymous]

But OP, who better to tell you the story than your child? She was there, she is 5, she can talk to you. If her story makes you concerned, schedule an appointment with the teacher or director. The reports are really important for little non verbal kids, but a 5 year old can tell you all about it.

[Anonymous]

But all of these things are issues for the parents of the kicker, not for you. It's really none of your business. If your child is getting repeatedly kicked, then you can ask the school what they are doing to keep your child safe, but how they are working with another child is not your business.

Exactly! It's not your business what's going on with the other child. You also shouldn't gossip with other parents about children that are not your own.

Ok, now I get it… a lot of the posters here are parents of “kickers”, and they feel upset that another parent would know this. Don’t know what to say to this except, too bad – if my child tells me someone is kicking or hitting her, it is most certainly my responsibility to make sure this does not continue to happen, and to know that steps are being taken to thatend. As part of that, I will most definitely ask about what is being done, which includes asking what is being done to help the kicker.

If you don’t want others to know about your kid’s poor behavior and take the proper steps to ensure their own child’s safety, I suggest you take your child out of school and home school – that’s they only way you’ll be able to keep this kind of thing under wraps.

And, I don’t gossip with other parents; rather, I heard another parent mentioning a similar incident involving the same child to the principal as I was taking my child to class. When I was leaving, another parent had stopped to contribute their experience with, again, same child, and mentioned that she’d learned from the parents that they were seeking help for that child.

This is your first child, isn't it?

We all pretty much know who does what in school to whom. Kids talk (and so do parents). You should certainly share your concerns about what is happening to your DD but it’s not your business what is being done to help the kicker. You should know that something is being done but it’s absolutely not your concern what those actions are. That other child and her parents deserve privacy.

You may not have been standing around gossiping, but you were definitely eavesdropping. What else would you call listening – and retelling – a conversation two people were having that you weren’t involved in and that was none of your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is right that it was inappropriate to send a vague email about an injury. It is more likely the school would get a straight story from the child (or other children present) immediately following the incident. This happened once to my son in 2nd grade or so. They were playing tag outside, on blacktop. Somehow during the game, my ds knocked a girl down when someone bumped into him as he was tagging her. Initially, the incident was handled as if my ds was being too rough. After a trip to the principal (in which all kids involved went) it came out that even the injured admitted it was an accident. My point here, the school worked out what happened, and called me to indicate my son had been called down, but that he was not "in trouble" .

and that is probably why tag has been outlawed at our school. Over reaction. Make them play it on the fields.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

But all of these things are issues for the parents of the kicker, not for you. It's really none of your business. If your child is getting repeatedly kicked, then you can ask the school what they are doing to keep your child safe, but how they are working with another child is not your business.

Exactly! It's not your business what's going on with the other child. You also shouldn't gossip with other parents about children that are not your own.

Ok, now I get it… a lot of the posters here are parents of “kickers”, and they feel upset that another parent would know this. Don’t know what to say to this except, too bad – if my child tells me someone is kicking or hitting her, it is most certainly my responsibility to make sure this does not continue to happen, and to know that steps are being taken to thatend. As part of that, I will most definitely ask about what is being done, which includes asking what is being done to help the kicker.

If you don’t want others to know about your kid’s poor behavior and take the proper steps to ensure their own child’s safety, I suggest you take your child out of school and home school – that’s they only way you’ll be able to keep this kind of thing under wraps.

And, I don’t gossip with other parents; rather, I heard another parent mentioning a similar incident involving the same child to the principal as I was taking my child to class. When I was leaving, another parent had stopped to contribute their experience with, again, same child, and mentioned that she’d learned from the parents that they were seeking help for that child.

This is your first child, isn't it?

We all pretty much know who does what in school to whom. Kids talk (and so do parents). You should certainly share your concerns about what is happening to your DD but it’s not your business what is being done to help the kicker. You should know that something is being done but it’s absolutely not your concern what those actions are. That other child and her parents deserve privacy.

You may not have been standing around gossiping, but you were definitely eavesdropping. What else would you call listening – and retelling – a conversation two people were having that you weren’t involved in and that was none of your business.

Re: asking what is being done to help the kicker, my DD’s school has policies in place to deal with this kind of thing; the teachers and staff assured me that they were following policies, and informed me of the steps being taken to lessen chances of incidents like this, where one child shows a pattern of hurting other kids. I didn’t request nor expect any special knowledge about the kicker, just communicated that I expected some action would be taken.

In instances where a child doesn’t show a pattern, or the incident doesn’t warrant it, I’m not nearly as concerned; DD has been in school/daycare for 2.5 years, and 90% of the time I do trust the teachers and staff to do what needs to be done. Maybe it’s just me, but I do feel that kicking someone intentionally is outside the norm of behavior, even for little kids.

I don’t know if it can be called eavesdropping to overhear conversations being held in the hallways of the school or outside in the parking lot where anyone nearby can hear. If you can assume that DD is my first, I think I can assume that you must be one of those parents who always assume the worst about any parent who is not completely hands off but shows concern for their child and ensures that he/she has access to all available and appropriate resources, including those that protect them from mistreatment.

[Anonymous]

Re: asking what is being done to help the kicker, my DD’s school has policies in place to deal with this kind of thing; the teachers and staff assured me that they were following policies, and informed me of the steps being taken to lessen chances of incidents like this, where one child shows a pattern of hurting other kids. I didn’t request nor expect any special knowledge about the kicker, just communicated that I expected some action would be taken.

In instances where a child doesn’t show a pattern, or the incident doesn’t warrant it, I’m not nearly as concerned; DD has been in school/daycare for 2.5 years, and 90% of the time I do trust the teachers and staff to do what needs to be done. Maybe it’s just me, but I do feel that kicking someone intentionally is outside the norm of behavior, even for little kids.

I don’t know if it can be called eavesdropping to overhear conversations being held in the hallways of the school or outside in the parking lot where anyone nearby can hear. If you can assume that DD is my first, I think I can assume that you must be one of those parents who always assume the worst about any parent who is not completely hands off but shows concern for their child and ensures that he/she has access to all available and appropriate resources, including those that protect them from mistreatment.

Have you tried bubble wrap? You think your kid hasn't intentionally hit or kicked someone? Your child is NOT being mistreated. You're getting your knickers in a knot because of one incident involving your child. You need to calm down. Your high need for information is unreasonable and inappropriate. If the school has such detailed policies on how to deal with this sort of thing then why are you posting on DCUM asking how we would expect to be informed of the incident and by whom? it sounds like you wanted your hand held a little more and are pissed because the school didn't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Re: asking what is being done to help the kicker, my DD’s school has policies in place to deal with this kind of thing; the teachers and staff assured me that they were following policies, and informed me of the steps being taken to lessen chances of incidents like this, where one child shows a pattern of hurting other kids. I didn’t request nor expect any special knowledge about the kicker, just communicated that I expected some action would be taken.

In instances where a child doesn’t show a pattern, or the incident doesn’t warrant it, I’m not nearly as concerned; DD has been in school/daycare for 2.5 years, and 90% of the time I do trust the teachers and staff to do what needs to be done. Maybe it’s just me, but I do feel that kicking someone intentionally is outside the norm of behavior, even for little kids.

I don’t know if it can be called eavesdropping to overhear conversations being held in the hallways of the school or outside in the parking lot where anyone nearby can hear. If you can assume that DD is my first, I think I can assume that you must be one of those parents who always assume the worst about any parent who is not completely hands off but shows concern for their child and ensures that he/she has access to all available and appropriate resources, including those that protect them from mistreatment.

Have you tried bubble wrap? You think your kid hasn't intentionally hit or kicked someone? Your child is NOT being mistreated. You're getting your knickers in a knot because of one incident involving your child. You need to calm down. Your high need for information is unreasonable and inappropriate. If the school has such detailed policies on how to deal with this sort of thing then why are you posting on DCUM asking how we would expect to be informed of the incident and by whom? it sounds like you wanted your hand held a little more and are pissed because the school didn't do it.

I’m not the OP. Also, it would be helpful if you read the thread, your response makes it clear that either you haven’t done that or might need some reading comprehension help. This is my last response on this thread.

[Anonymous]

And, I don’t gossip with other parents; rather, I heard another parent mentioning a similar incident involving the same child to the principal as I was taking my child to class. When I was leaving, another parent had stopped to contribute their experience with, again, same child, and mentioned that she’d learned from the parents that they were seeking help for that child.

This is the very definition of gossip, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Re: asking what is being done to help the kicker, my DD’s school has policies in place to deal with this kind of thing; the teachers and staff assured me that they were following policies, and informed me of the steps being taken to lessen chances of incidents like this, where one child shows a pattern of hurting other kids. I didn’t request nor expect any special knowledge about the kicker, just communicated that I expected some action would be taken.

In instances where a child doesn’t show a pattern, or the incident doesn’t warrant it, I’m not nearly as concerned; DD has been in school/daycare for 2.5 years, and 90% of the time I do trust the teachers and staff to do what needs to be done. Maybe it’s just me, but I do feel that kicking someone intentionally is outside the norm of behavior, even for little kids.

I don’t know if it can be called eavesdropping to overhear conversations being held in the hallways of the school or outside in the parking lot where anyone nearby can hear. If you can assume that DD is my first, I think I can assume that you must be one of those parents who always assume the worst about any parent who is not completely hands off but shows concern for their child and ensures that he/she has access to all available and appropriate resources, including those that protect them from mistreatment.

Have you tried bubble wrap? You think your kid hasn't intentionally hit or kicked someone? Your child is NOT being mistreated. You're getting your knickers in a knot because of one incident involving your child. You need to calm down. Your high need for information is unreasonable and inappropriate. If the school has such detailed policies on how to deal with this sort of thing then why are you posting on DCUM asking how we would expect to be informed of the incident and by whom? it sounds like you wanted your hand held a little more and are pissed because the school didn't do it.

I’m not the OP. Also, it would be helpful if you read the thread, your response makes it clear that either you haven’t done that or might need some reading comprehension help. This is my last response on this thread.

Not the PP you’re responding to but I think she’s hit the nail on the head. OP has stated several times that her issue was how the school communicated with her and a number of people have told her she’s overreacting (and that it’s obvious she’s a FTM). Yet, she keeps bringing up the other kid. If she were truly interested in just communication when a child has been hurt, there would be no need to even bring up this other child because it doesn’t matter whether the hurt was inflicted by another child or a fall on the playground, the way the school communicates would be the same.

Whether this child has done this before, whether there’s a pattern or not, OP’s focus should be restricted to her own child. Her child has been kicked by the other child ONCE. It’s not OP’s job or business what this child has or has not done to kids that are not hers. The more experience OP has with schools, the more she’ll understand that its the school’s job to handle and she has no right to know about or concern herself with someone else’s kid. If OP feels her child is being mistreated or a target, she needs to communicate that and what the school is doing to make it a safe environment for her child. She has no right to know what the school is doing about the other child – particularly since there’s only been ONE incident involving her child. OP should MYOB, stop gossiping and stop listening to conversations she hasn’t been invited to participate in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

And, I don’t gossip with other parents; rather, I heard another parent mentioning a similar incident involving the same child to the principal as I was taking my child to class. When I was leaving, another parent had stopped to contribute their experience with, again, same child, and mentioned that she’d learned from the parents that they were seeking help for that child.

This is the very definition of gossip, OP. [

Please note, that comment was not from the OP. I am the OP. It's interesting to see how much conversation this topic has generated. Clearly there is a difference of opinion among mom's. And, the information I got about the child hurting other kids was directly from the mouth of a mom friend who's child had blood drawn two week prior. My dc ran to get the teacher when the child scatched skin from the chest of his friend, so he also told me. This time (when my dc was kicked) another child ran to get help when my child was kicked by the same child. I have no idea what is being done about the child, but was told by the school that she would be suspended if there was another situation with her (whether suspension would actually happen, given other signficant details I won't go into here, it's doubtful). I think a clear written policy on dicipline should be present.