Can you really call yourself pro-choice if you wouldn't have an abortion yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am strongly pro-choice, and time and time again I've come across other people who claim to be pro-choice saying, that although they wouldn't have an abortion themselves they don't feel it's right to make that decision for others. I have a very good friend who considers herself pro-choice, but has told me that if she ever was in a situation in which she didn't feel she could raise a baby, she would give it up for adoption instead of having an abortion.
Something about this attitude doesn't settle well with me. It seems as if these people are in a nutshell passing judgement on women who have abortions. If you support abortion rights, why point out that it's "something you personally couldn't do?" Does anyone else feel uncomfortable about these types of comments?

I'm pro-gay rights but I am not going to sleep with other men. How hard is it to understand the difference between a right and the desire to exercise a right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am strongly pro-choice, and time and time again I've come across other people who claim to be pro-choice saying, that although they wouldn't have an abortion themselves they don't feel it's right to make that decision for others. I have a very good friend who considers herself pro-choice, but has told me that if she ever was in a situation in which she didn't feel she could raise a baby, she would give it up for adoption instead of having an abortion.
Something about this attitude doesn't settle well with me. It seems as if these people are in a nutshell passing judgement on women who have abortions. If you support abortion rights, why point out that it's "something you personally couldn't do?" Does anyone else feel uncomfortable about these types of comments?

I'm pro-gay rights but I am not going to sleep with other men. How hard is it to understand the difference between a right and the desire to exercise a right?

Yes, but you don't sleep with other men because you don't want to, not because you think it's wrong. A women saying she would never have an abortion, even if there was a need is basically saying she wouldn't do it because she thinks it's wrong. Why else would she have such a problem with it??

[Anonymous]

Really? Is this really an issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am strongly pro-choice, and time and time again I've come across other people who claim to be pro-choice saying, that although they wouldn't have an abortion themselves they don't feel it's right to make that decision for others. I have a very good friend who considers herself pro-choice, but has told me that if she ever was in a situation in which she didn't feel she could raise a baby, she would give it up for adoption instead of having an abortion.
Something about this attitude doesn't settle well with me. It seems as if these people are in a nutshell passing judgement on women who have abortions. If you support abortion rights, why point out that it's "something you personally couldn't do?" Does anyone else feel uncomfortable about these types of comments?

I'm pro-gay rights but I am not going to sleep with other men. How hard is it to understand the difference between a right and the desire to exercise a right?

When you say you're pro-gay rights, do you immediately make it a point to say "But I'm not going to sleep with other men?"

[Anonymous]

I agree op - it's annoying. It makes me think that those women have never been in the circumstance where they would seriously consider it, and that they also fail to have the imagination/empathy to imagine what it would be like to be in those circumstsnces.

[Anonymous]

Pro-choice gives you a choice, a choice whether to choose to have an abortion or to choose to have the baby. What is the problem if I choose to have the baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pro-choice gives you a choice, a choice whether to choose to have an abortion or to choose to have the baby. What is the problem if I choose to have the baby?

Apparently, it's OK to choose it - you just can't SAY you're going to choose it. It hurts the OP's feelings. Latent guilt, and all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am strongly pro-choice, and time and time again I've come across other people who claim to be pro-choice saying, that although they wouldn't have an abortion themselves they don't feel it's right to make that decision for others. I have a very good friend who considers herself pro-choice, but has told me that if she ever was in a situation in which she didn't feel she could raise a baby, she would give it up for adoption instead of having an abortion.
Something about this attitude doesn't settle well with me. It seems as if these people are in a nutshell passing judgement on women who have abortions. If you support abortion rights, why point out that it's "something you personally couldn't do?" Does anyone else feel uncomfortable about these types of comments?

I'm pro-gay rights but I am not going to sleep with other men. How hard is it to understand the difference between a right and the desire to exercise a right?

When you say you're pro-gay rights, do you immediately make it a point to say "But I'm not going to sleep with other men?"

Who said anything about "immediately making it a point", and who even cares if they do? It just means that their personal choice would be different from yours, but they defend your right to make your own. We do this all the time with the First Amendment, when we defend speech or religious practices different from our own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree op - it's annoying. It makes me think that those women have never been in the circumstance where they would seriously consider it, and that they also fail to have the imagination/empathy to imagine what it would be like to be in those circumstsnces.

No, it says that even though they would not make that choice for themselves, they respect that other women have the right to make that choice for themselves. It shows that they support the concept of choice and not only because of self-interest (e.g. I am pro-choice because I want to have that option for myself). They are attempting to say they are more self-less, and supportive of the right for others, not for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I myself am heterosexual and have been happily married for 10 years and will never look for a homosexual marriage. But I fully support the right of gays to get married and be entitled to all of the legal protections and benefits that are bestowed by the civil institution of marriage.

Yes, but being heterosexual you would never have the need to to look for a homosexual marriage. That's different than saying that you wouldn't have an abortion, even if you faced a situation that would warrant it.

Not really. There have been many men who thought they were heterosexual and later in life, they found they were either bisexual or homosexual and changed their lives and situation and may have the need for a gay marriage. I doubt I am, but I could be in that situation later in life without realizing it (very common--it is very easy to bury one's sexuality in our culture).

Well in that case you would enter a gay marriage, right? You're not opposed to ever entering one, you just don't foresee that you will ever feel that you would want to. I've heard people who claim to be pro-choice say that they would "never" have one, not simply because they don't foresee having the need for one, but simply because they just "couldn't do it."

And yet, those people don't know what they would really do if they had been raped, if the assaulter was a family member, so that they were pregnant via violence and incest where any product of the assault would be a traumatic reminder of the crime. There have been women who were personally against abortion who have had an abortion or who have had a family member have an abortion due to horrific circumstances. So, they may be against abortions, but in certain circumstances might have one anyways.

The point is that a man with no interest in pursuing a gay marriage might enter into one, just as a woman who has no interest in an abortion may have one. In the described situations, both are unlikely to happen except in extreme situations but both could happen.

[Anonymous]

I'm pro-choice, but most likely wouldn't terminate a pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
[b]I myself am heterosexual and have been happily married for 10 years and will never look for a homosexual marriage. But I fully support the right of gays to get married and be entitled to all of the legal protections and benefits that are bestowed by the civil institution of marriage.

Yes, but being heterosexual you would never have the need to to look for a homosexual marriage. That's different than saying that you wouldn't have an abortion, even if you faced a situation that would warrant it.

Not really. There have been many men who thought they were heterosexual and later in life, they found they were either bisexual or homosexual and changed their lives and situation and may have the need for a gay marriage. I doubt I am, but I could be in that situation later in life without realizing it (very common--it is very easy to bury one's sexuality in our culture).

Well in that case you would enter a gay marriage, right? You're not opposed to ever entering one, you just don't foresee that you will ever feel that you would want to. I've heard people who claim to be pro-choice say that they would "never" have one, not simply because they don't foresee having the need for one, but simply because they just "couldn't do it."

And yet, those people don't know what they would really do if they had been raped, if the assaulter was a family member, so that they were pregnant via violence and incest where any product of the assault would be a traumatic reminder of the crime. There have been women who were personally against abortion who have had an abortion or who have had a family member have an abortion due to horrific circumstances. So, they may be against abortions, but in certain circumstances might have one anyways.

The point is that a man with no interest in pursuing a gay marriage might enter into one, just as a woman who has no interest in an abortion may have one. In the described situations, both are unlikely to happen except in extreme situations but both could happen.

Yes, which is why it bothers me when they go out of their way to say they wouldn't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But why even bother pointing out that you wouldn't do it? How do women who make these comments think it makes someone who has had an abortion feel? They are basically saying "Hey I wouldn't do something that vile, but if you could do it, I support you."
There's just a certain holier than though sort of sentiment about it.

OP, sounds to me like you've got some unresolved guilt from your own previous abortion. Might I suggest therapy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am strongly pro-choice, and time and time again I've come across other people who claim to be pro-choice saying, that although they wouldn't have an abortion themselves they don't feel it's right to make that decision for others. I have a very good friend who considers herself pro-choice, but has told me that if she ever was in a situation in which she didn't feel she could raise a baby, she would give it up for adoption instead of having an abortion.
Something about this attitude doesn't settle well with me. It seems as if these people are in a nutshell passing judgement on women who have abortions. If you support abortion rights, why point out that it's "something you personally couldn't do?" Does anyone else feel uncomfortable about these types of comments?

I'm pro-gay rights but I am not going to sleep with other men. How hard is it to understand the difference between a right and the desire to exercise a right?

When you say you're pro-gay rights, do you immediately make it a point to say "But I'm not going to sleep with other men?"

Who said anything about "immediately making it a point", and who even cares if they do? It just means that their personal choice would be different from yours, but they defend your right to make your own. We do this all the time with the First Amendment, when we defend speech or religious practices different from our own.

Because that's the point of this entire thread. OP's point was not that she thinks all pro-choicers should have abortions. It was that she has a problem with pro-choicers who declare themselves to be pro-choicers but then immediately make it a point to reassure their audience that they would never have an abortion.

[Anonymous]

OP's point, as evidenced in the title of this thread, is that she questions whether people say they wouldn't have an abortion are actually pro-choice. She later changed the point to say that her feelings get hurt when people say they are pro-choice, but then say they wouldn't have an abortion. She later admitted to being hyper-sensitive on this issue. What say we all take her at her word, agree it's not a big deal, gladly accept support from women who agree with the right to choose but don't think they would have an abortion themselves, and call it a day?