Can you really call yourself pro-choice if you wouldn't have an abortion yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok people, I'll just bow out now and let you all flame away. Seriously, though I realize I might be hyper-sensitive to this subject. These types of comments have just always grated on me. Maybe they shouldn't, but they just do. Isn't that what these anonymous boards are for? To see if there are other people who share your quirky feelings that you don't feel comfortable admitting in real life?

Good grief, OP - you freakin' asked, "Does anyone else feel uncomfortable about these types of comments?" So, people told you what they thought, and since you didn't like the answers, you grumble about getting "flamed" and pout about how you are "bowing out." Fine, but it appears that hyper-sensitivity is a recurring theme in your life.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure it's been said already but that's what being "pro-choice" is all about - that you're in favor of letting people make their own choices for their own reasons. You're talking more about being "pro-abortion."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok people, I'll just bow out now and let you all flame away. Seriously, though I realize I might be hyper-sensitive to this subject. These types of comments have just always grated on me. Maybe they shouldn't, but they just do. Isn't that what these anonymous boards are for? To see if there are other people who share your quirky feelings that you don't feel comfortable admitting in real life?

Good grief, OP - you freakin' asked, "Does anyone else feel uncomfortable about these types of comments?" So, people told you what they thought, and since you didn't like the answers, you grumble about getting "flamed" and pout about how you are "bowing out." Fine, but it appears that hyper-sensitivity is a recurring theme in your life.

Ok, I over-estimated myself. I can't bow out. I realize my above comment sounds really defensive. I actually meant for it to be more light-hearted, but in reading it again, I realize that it doesn't come across this way. I'm ok with everyone disagreeing with me, really. And to the previous poster who said pro-choice does not = pro-abortion. Believe me, I know that. Maybe I'm not expressing myself very well. It's not that I think that everyone who faces an unwanted pregnancy SHOULD have an abortion, I just think that those people who feel a need to point out that it's something that they wouldn't or "couldn't" do, may not realize that they are sending a veiled message to other's that having an abortion is somehow wrong.

[Anonymous]

I am pro gay marriage. It's not something I would do, personally. But I think all people should make their own choice about whom to love or marry.

I am pro choice. I hope I would never have an abortion. But never say never.

I have daughters. I hope they would never need an abortion. But I will fight like hell to keep it legal.

I hope abortion is a choice nobody has to make. But as long as we live in the real world, it has to stay legal.

To my mind, there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that abortion is a tragedy. So is divorce but alas, I had to get one of them, too.

[Anonymous]

I think it's sad that many feel the need to qualify that while they're pro-choice, they wouldn't have one themselves. I'm pro-gay marriage, but I don't feel the need to state that I wouldn't have one myself.

I don't think this is an issue to get upset about though, OP.

-signed, someone who's pro-choice and would abort lightening-fast

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am pro gay marriage. It's not something I would do, personally. But I think all people should make their own choice about whom to love or marry.

[b]I am pro choice. I hope I would never have an abortion. But never say never.

I have daughters. I hope they would never need an abortion. But I will fight like hell to keep it legal.

I hope abortion is a choice nobody has to make. But as long as we live in the real world, it has to stay legal.

To my mind, there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that abortion is a tragedy. So is divorce but alas, I had to get one of them, too.

This is very different from saying you would never have an abortion, or that your are "personally pro-life, but politically pro-choice".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But why even bother pointing out that you wouldn't do it? How do women who make these comments think it makes someone who has had an abortion feel? They are basically saying "Hey I wouldn't do something that vile, but if you could do it, I support you."
There's just a certain holier than though sort of sentiment about it.

Turn it around. "I would never have an abortion, but I fully support that every woman should have the choice to have an abortion if it is right for her." Does that make more sense? That's the gist of it. That whether or not you would do so yourself, you feel that other people have the right to make that choice for themselves and not have it imposed by the government. Why is this so hard to understand? The point of the comment is that even though it doesn't apply to me, I am still wholly supportive of those to whom it will apply. It is qualifying that I am not making a self-interested statement (e.g. I only care about this because it applies to me).

I myself am heterosexual and have been happily married for 10 years and will never look for a homosexual marriage. But I fully support the right of gays to get married and be entitled to all of the legal protections and benefits that are bestowed by the civil institution of marriage.

I am a man and will never have to face the choice of whether to have an abortion or not, but I fully support your and every other woman's right to choose an abortion if that is what is right for her (and/or her family).

The list goes on. There are many situations which will never apply to me. I can be fully supportive of people who those situations will apply to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But why even bother pointing out that you wouldn't do it? How do women who make these comments think it makes someone who has had an abortion feel? They are basically saying "Hey I wouldn't do something that vile, but if you could do it, I support you."
There's just a certain holier than though sort of sentiment about it.

Turn it around. "I would never have an abortion, but I fully support that every woman should have the choice to have an abortion if it is right for her." Does that make more sense? That's the gist of it. That whether or not you would do so yourself, you feel that other people have the right to make that choice for themselves and not have it imposed by the government. Why is this so hard to understand? The point of the comment is that even though it doesn't apply to me, I am still wholly supportive of those to whom it will apply. It is qualifying that I am not making a self-interested statement (e.g. I only care about this because it applies to me).

I myself am heterosexual and have been happily married for 10 years and will never look for a homosexual marriage. But I fully support the right of gays to get married and be entitled to all of the legal protections and benefits that are bestowed by the civil institution of marriage.


Yes, but being heterosexual you would never have the need to to look for a homosexual marriage. That's different than saying that you wouldn't have an abortion, even if you faced a situation that would warrant it.

I am a man and will never have to face the choice of whether to have an abortion or not, but I fully support your and every other woman's right to choose an abortion if that is what is right for her (and/or her family).

The list goes on. There are many situations which will never apply to me. I can be fully supportive of people who those situations will apply to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But why even bother pointing out that you wouldn't do it? How do women who make these comments think it makes someone who has had an abortion feel? They are basically saying "Hey I wouldn't do something that vile, but if you could do it, I support you."
There's just a certain holier than though sort of sentiment about it.

Turn it around. "I would never have an abortion, but I fully support that every woman should have the choice to have an abortion if it is right for her." Does that make more sense? That's the gist of it. That whether or not you would do so yourself, you feel that other people have the right to make that choice for themselves and not have it imposed by the government. Why is this so hard to understand? The point of the comment is that even though it doesn't apply to me, I am still wholly supportive of those to whom it will apply. It is qualifying that I am not making a self-interested statement (e.g. I only care about this because it applies to me).

I myself am heterosexual and have been happily married for 10 years and will never look for a homosexual marriage. But I fully support the right of gays to get married and be entitled to all of the legal protections and benefits that are bestowed by the civil institution of marriage.




I am a man and will never have to face the choice of whether to have an abortion or not, but I fully support your and every other woman's right to choose an abortion if that is what is right for her (and/or her family).

The list goes on. There are many situations which will never apply to me. I can be fully supportive of people who those situations will apply to.

Yes, but being heterosexual you would never have the need to to look for a homosexual marriage. That's different than saying that you wouldn't have an abortion, even if you faced a situation that would warrant it.

[Anonymous]

This is going to sound crass, but I'll say it to answer OP.

Yes, I can support your right to do something but still judge you for it. Those two aren't mutually exclusive.

I think that's what you're asking. Women who state things like that could be perceived as insensitive or judging, but it doesn't mean they aren't pro-choice.

[Anonymous]

The gay marriage comparison is actually kind of helpful here -- how many people say they are pro-gay-marriage, and then immediately follow up with "but I myself would never get gay married, no, I'm so very very straight, myself"? Why add that kind of extraneous information? Why is it necessary to reassure people that, although you are pro-choice, you think abortion is BAD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I myself am heterosexual and have been happily married for 10 years and will never look for a homosexual marriage. But I fully support the right of gays to get married and be entitled to all of the legal protections and benefits that are bestowed by the civil institution of marriage.

Yes, but being heterosexual you would never have the need to to look for a homosexual marriage. That's different than saying that you wouldn't have an abortion, even if you faced a situation that would warrant it.

Not really. There have been many men who thought they were heterosexual and later in life, they found they were either bisexual or homosexual and changed their lives and situation and may have the need for a gay marriage. I doubt I am, but I could be in that situation later in life without realizing it (very common--it is very easy to bury one's sexuality in our culture).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is going to sound crass, but I'll say it to answer OP.

Yes, I can support your right to do something but still judge you for it. Those two aren't mutually exclusive. I think that's what you're asking. Women who state things like that could be perceived as insensitive or judging, but it doesn't mean they aren't pro-choice.

This is a really good point. I support the Tea Party members' rights to get up in the public square and spout their idiocy to their hearts' content, but I think they're wrong, kinda stupid, and probably weren't cuddled enough as children. In other words, I judge them. And I certainly wouldn't say the things they say. Does that mean I'm not really pro-First Amendment?

[Anonymous]

By its definition, pro choice means that the decision belongs to the pregnant woman and only the pregnant woman, and that the fact that a decision is required means that different women will make different decisions. Pro choice is NOT pro abortion. The pro choice view acknowledges that abortion is a tough issue that does NOT produce one simple answer, and then requires that that decision be made by the pregnant woman.

This is how I feel about it. I always used to say "fortunately I've never had to make that choice."

Then I started saying what you're griping about - the "I wouldn't do it myself" - why? B/c I had a couple of years worth of infertility smack me in the face and that blurred my thinking on the subject. Now that I am past that time period, I agree with the above quote. It's a choice, and not likely an easy one for anyone who has to make it. But thank goodness those who need to make that choice can have it done safely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I myself am heterosexual and have been happily married for 10 years and will never look for a homosexual marriage. But I fully support the right of gays to get married and be entitled to all of the legal protections and benefits that are bestowed by the civil institution of marriage.

Yes, but being heterosexual you would never have the need to to look for a homosexual marriage. That's different than saying that you wouldn't have an abortion, even if you faced a situation that would warrant it.

Not really. There have been many men who thought they were heterosexual and later in life, they found they were either bisexual or homosexual and changed their lives and situation and may have the need for a gay marriage. I doubt I am, but I could be in that situation later in life without realizing it (very common--it is very easy to bury one's sexuality in our culture).

Well in that case you would enter a gay marriage, right? You're not opposed to ever entering one, you just don't foresee that you will ever feel that you would want to. I've heard people who claim to be pro-choice say that they would "never" have one, not simply because they don't foresee having the need for one, but simply because they just "couldn't do it."