Accepted! Now how to make it work? Is it worth it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for all the feedback. Especially 14:19.

I do realize that I think most people responding don't quite understand. I spent a little time this afternoon during a break looking at some rentals in the better school districts and it's WAY more expensive. Way way way more. We pay $1375/month for rent for a 1 bedroom + den (very tiny second bedroom). There are literally zero places to rent in better areas that are less than $2100 for that in better school districts. Not an option. The finances don't work out.

I was also a little confused by the whole afternoon preschool thing. My son is in full day care and has been since he was 5 months old. He will continue to be if he doesn't go to this school, so I don't think the PM thing makes much of a difference to me. Am I missing something?

But I think it was helpful to hear what people have to say. We're going to see if we can find a 3 day a week nanny/sitter share . I work close enough to where I can do pick up, but drop off would be hard. We'll see what it costs to have someone take him.

I am hearing that it's not worth turning our lives upside down and I am grateful for that information. If it looks like the logistics will cause serious stress, then we won't do it. I think our son will do best with happy parents who aren't frazzled.

My DS was in full day care too but the afternoon schedule generally includes a nap. It was a real problem for us. What is the afternoon schedule at your child's current daycare - that may help you sort that out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So my son is in a NAEYC-accredited school and it's good, but having visited the private school, it has NOTHING on it. Really. And to anyone who said that head start is as good but free, you haven't visited the head start programs. I have. I visited 7 of them because we qualified at the time. And they are NOT ANYWHERE in the same range.
So I have one question, which is that, at the daycare where he is now, and most of the schools I can think of, they do not offer financial aid. We are in a school that gives us some subsidy because of my job, but we couldn't move him to a different (maybe better) closer school and afford it. A lot of those schools are around $1800/month ($1600/month?). If we get really good FA, doesn't that change the equation somewhat because it's maybe the only way to get him into as good of a program financially?
I am in no way trying to argue, but just wondering if that changes anyone's thoughts.

I understand your situation because it seems similar to mine but please know that your reality is so different than many of the people on DCUM that you are not likely to get the understanding or support you are seeking. Unfortunately many on DCUM don't seem to understand the plight of those with lower (by DC standards) HHI's. I often see people in your position told to move to a better school district when the neighborhood school will not give what you desire for your child. Head start is NOT a viable option when you are seeking better educational options for many reasons. Head Start is a program for those at or below the poverty line and that brings a host of issues that you probably prefer your DC not to be exposed to. DC is currently enrolled in a charter school and at 4 years old was told recently that her shoes were "old". Sounds silly but it made me realize that the children in some communities are taught poor priorities pretty early one. (WTH do 4 & 5 yr olds know about old shoes anyway?)
Educate your child to the best of your ability. If education is a top priority stick to that despite what the detractors say. We have a similar HHI with 2 children and with low debt and few luxuries we chose Gymboree and dance for socialization, museum trips, library readings, trips to the zoo and every opportunity to teach and interact with DC that we could. It has paid off with generous aid to attend a "Big 3" school. Best of luck! Stick to your guns if this is what you want but think hard about how this will impact your reality and quality of life.
On the contrary, I think everyone has tried to be as helpful as they can. No one has been snarky at all.

[Anonymous]

OP, I read the whole thread and agreed with the majority view....then realized we spent nearly three years doing a hour commute to a preschool that worked very well for us. We used the time in the car very well - singing, talking about what we saw, talking about what happened during the day, even alphabet, math, and a little foreign language. If you can be comfortable driving in the city and talking back and forth with DC...the car time can be quite valuable. Hate to startle anyone on this point, but have to say, what the kids learn at a "great reputation" preschool isn't primary factor in getting kids from such a school into xyz private. Instead it's the preschool's history of working with the ADs on behalf of the preschool's children year after year - as well as the self selection into these schools of a disproportionate number of families who plan on, and can afford, private. All that said, better to have a sibling than a fancy preschool, for learning and success in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my son is in a NAEYC-accredited school and it's good, but having visited the private school, it has NOTHING on it. Really. And to anyone who said that head start is as good but free, you haven't visited the head start programs. I have. I visited 7 of them because we qualified at the time. And they are NOT ANYWHERE in the same range.
So I have one question, which is that, at the daycare where he is now, and most of the schools I can think of, they do not offer financial aid. We are in a school that gives us some subsidy because of my job, but we couldn't move him to a different (maybe better) closer school and afford it. A lot of those schools are around $1800/month ($1600/month?). If we get really good FA, doesn't that change the equation somewhat because it's maybe the only way to get him into as good of a program financially?
I am in no way trying to argue, but just wondering if that changes anyone's thoughts.

On the contrary, I think everyone has tried to be as helpful as they can. No one has been snarky at all.

14:19 PP here - I wasn't suggesting that commentors were being snarky but suggesting that one move to a better school district or not be concerned about the impact of preschool lets me know that some of the commentors may truly not understand her reality. That doesn't mean that one side is wrong or right, but I've realized on DCUM that it's tough to get people to understand your situation when their reality is a bit differnt from yours. The remedies often suggested are not at the disposal of people with lower HHI. NAEYC accredited prechools cost more than I pay in rent. Head Start programs have your child exposed to other children that curse, are aggressive and parents that are unresponsive and may not value early childhood education the way you do. It's really tough when you are working to give something better to your child than you had. And I do apologize if my statement appeared critical because it was not meant to be. I'm actually pleased that this thread didnt' take a wrong turn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I read the whole thread and agreed with the majority view....then realized we spent nearly three years doing a hour commute to a preschool that worked very well for us. We used the time in the car very well - singing, talking about what we saw, talking about what happened during the day, even alphabet, math, and a little foreign language. If you can be comfortable driving in the city and talking back and forth with DC...the car time can be quite valuable. Hate to startle anyone on this point, but have to say, what the kids learn at a "great reputation" preschool isn't primary factor in getting kids from such a school into xyz private. Instead it's the preschool's history of working with the ADs on behalf of the preschool's children year after year - as well as the self selection into these schools of a disproportionate number of families who plan on, and can afford, private. All that said, better to have a sibling than a fancy preschool, for learning and success in life.

If OP can apply this to her daily routine in and out of the car, DC will be fine no matter where they attend preschool. It's the approach DH and I have taken and DC was in a charter school. Our committment to teaching DC about the world around made all the difference in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are a working class family and we recently got accepted to a really fantastic private preschool. We applied for FA and are pretty confident we'll get at least some (65K combined income). To us, who both grew up really poor, this is a huge opportunity for our son. It could mean better chances for private school. Right now it means getting an incredible start to his education - getting to love school and learning in general at this age. Mostly, we want our son to have more than we had... which is what we all want right? So we're committed to making it happen if we can. The problem comes with logistics.

We don't live ANYWHERE near the school. It took us 45 minutes to get there, but maybe we could learn some new routes. Anyway, not our neighborhood school. It's a 3 day program and half days. How the heck to we get him there and what do we do with him for the first half of the day?? The two days he is home, we have a plan. We just don't have any clue what to do with him for the first half of the day on school days.

Is there anyone out there who deals with this? What do you do? Can you find other kids in similar situations and share a babysitter? With a car? How on earth do you find other people in this situation?

And is all this effort worth it? Because we think it is. But we were not raised with the cultural knowledge about how private schools work, about how important these "hard to get into" preschools are, and whether it's worth it in the face of massive inconvenience.

We're also worried about whether we can afford a second child if we go this private school route. But that's another story.

Is it one that feeds into a school?

[Anonymous]

If it's NCRC, it's a big leg up in getting into schools like Beauvoir, Sidwell, Maret and GDS, but not a guarantee by any means. It's also a wonderful experience in and of itself, for the child and the family (great community). But for OP, hard to say if it's worth the commute and difficult logistics. Will/would it be more manageable a year on, when your DC is there a full day? If so, it might be worth the short-term hassle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my son is in a NAEYC-accredited school and it's good, but having visited the private school, it has NOTHING on it. Really. And to anyone who said that head start is as good but free, you haven't visited the head start programs. I have. I visited 7 of them because we qualified at the time. And they are NOT ANYWHERE in the same range.
So I have one question, which is that, at the daycare where he is now, and most of the schools I can think of, they do not offer financial aid. We are in a school that gives us some subsidy because of my job, but we couldn't move him to a different (maybe better) closer school and afford it. A lot of those schools are around $1800/month ($1600/month?). If we get really good FA, doesn't that change the equation somewhat because it's maybe the only way to get him into as good of a program financially?
I am in no way trying to argue, but just wondering if that changes anyone's thoughts.

I understand your situation because it seems similar to mine but please know that your reality is so different than many of the people on DCUM that you are not likely to get the understanding or support you are seeking. Unfortunately many on DCUM don't seem to understand the plight of those with lower (by DC standards) HHI's. I often see people in your position told to move to a better school district when the neighborhood school will not give what you desire for your child. Head start is NOT a viable option when you are seeking better educational options for many reasons. Head Start is a program for those at or below the poverty line and that brings a host of issues that you probably prefer your DC not to be exposed to. DC is currently enrolled in a charter school and at 4 years old was told recently that her shoes were "old". Sounds silly but it made me realize that the children in some communities are taught poor priorities pretty early one. (WTH do 4 & 5 yr olds know about old shoes anyway?)
Educate your child to the best of your ability. If education is a top priority stick to that despite what the detractors say. We have a similar HHI with 2 children and with low debt and few luxuries we chose Gymboree and dance for socialization, museum trips, library readings, trips to the zoo and every opportunity to teach and interact with DC that we could. It has paid off with generous aid to attend a "Big 3" school. Best of luck! Stick to your guns if this is what you want but think hard about how this will impact your reality and quality of life.

Agreed! And best of luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it's NCRC, it's a big leg up in getting into schools like Beauvoir, Sidwell, Maret and GDS, but not a guarantee by any means. It's also a wonderful experience in and of itself, for the child and the family (great community). But for OP, hard to say if it's worth the commute and difficult logistics. Will/would it be more manageable a year on, when your DC is there a full day? If so, it might be worth the short-term hassle.

Great! So then you get to deal with the same situation for the next 12+ years, multipled in spades because all of the schools you mention are $30K per year. And equally far from OP.

[Anonymous]

I have another suggestion - since this is such a desirable option for OP, why doesn't OP decide that she will make it work for one year and then see whether it is worth it for more than one year. And then do what needs to be done, so you never have the regret, you know, if only I had done....OP always has the option of withdrawing from the school mid-year if it is completely not working due to logistics, and then figuring out she and DH want to proceed from there given there values and their finances. Sometimes surprises come up, good and bad, and something good may come up that makes this all more doable as OP goes along that she never would have known existed otherwise.

[Anonymous]

OP - you mentioned that you are asking on this forum because the private school route is new to you and your husband. So, I only offer the following with that in mind, that is, with good intentions.

I come from an upper middle class background and attended private preschool, kindergarten, elementary, etc., but attended public high school (Langley High School). So, I am familiar with both private and public schools.

My thought on the topic is this: You should only consider private preschool if can pay the tuition, however reduced, in addition to funding your child's 529 account. One of the best gifts you can give to your child is a fully paid college/grad school education, so that your child can select a career without the burden of student loans. So, I wouldn't even think about private preschool unless you are adequately funding your child's 529 account.

I only say this because your HHI 65k does not have much room -- it seems to me the private preschool tuition would come at the expense of something else.

[Anonymous]

OP here. That is fantastic advice. You know, to be honest, no matter what we have to pay for preschool right now. No free preschools at his age. Further down the road, I think you have a point. A lot of this is contingent on how much aid we get. And continue to get in the future.

My parents, who could never save enough, took out loans to pay for my undergrad. I don't know how it has affected them because they don't really talk about it. But maybe it's time I had a big talk with them about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: There are literally zero places to rent in better areas that are less than $2100 for that in better school districts. Not an option. The finances don't work out.

Here's a place in a nice community in the BCC cluster, which is highly prized, for $1356.

http://units.realtydatatrust.com/unittype.aspx?ils=713&propid=26943

[Anonymous]

I assume you live somewhere 45 minutes NCRC?

Have you thought about DC Charters? They may not be like NCRC - but may offer enough more than your current daycare.

If you are thinkingthe charter route - you need to move on it TONIGHT! Lottery deadlines are really soon. You will need to provide proof of DC residency before school starts - but if you win the public charter school lottery - you really win the lottery.

Good luck with what ever decision you make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's NCRC, it's a big leg up in getting into schools like Beauvoir, Sidwell, Maret and GDS, but not a guarantee by any means. It's also a wonderful experience in and of itself, for the child and the family (great community). But for OP, hard to say if it's worth the commute and difficult logistics. Will/would it be more manageable a year on, when your DC is there a full day? If so, it might be worth the short-term hassle.

Great! So then you get to deal with the same situation for the next 12+ years, multipled in spades because all of the schools you mention are $30K per year. And equally far from OP.

Those schools aren't $30K when you qualify for aid; they cost whatever the aid formulas determine your family can afford to pay. And OP seemed to be saying it was the half day that made the logistics difficult. Fwiw, I come from a background like OP's and somewhat accidentally fell onto the private school track. We applied to NCRC because we lived a few blocks away, having no idea it was a feeder to the kinds of schools our kids now attend. Once we saw what NCRC and these ongoing schools had to offer, we made the choice to make it work financially, even though it means a fair amount of sacrifice. We don't have the logistics issues that OP has, but I'm saying that I completely understand the appeal. It has been worth it for us.