Accepted! Now how to make it work? Is it worth it?

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's worth it. I know many kids from high income households in our area who went to public schools in good school districts and graduated from Ivy league colleges or become medical doctors.

[Anonymous]

The logistics still seem almost impossible to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The logistics still seem almost impossible to me.

just to add-- if this was the kind of thing where your kid was a little older and had a chance to be an olympic athlete if you could get him to training or something, maybe I would turn my life upside down (or maybe not) but it's just preschool.

[Anonymous]

I would recommend moving to a good school district, enroll the child in public schools, and supplement with afterschool tutoring and enrichment.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's worth it either. I would move to a better school district and rent if you can't afford to buy. Preschool shouldn't turn your family situation upside down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's worth it either. I would move to a better school district and rent if you can't afford to buy. Preschool shouldn't turn your family situation upside down.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, OP here.

Thanks for all the responses. It's really food for thought.

So my son is in a NAEYC-accredited school and it's good, but having visited the private school, it has NOTHING on it. Really. And to anyone who said that head start is as good but free, you haven't visited the head start programs. I have. I visited 7 of them because we qualified at the time. And they are NOT ANYWHERE in the same range.

So I have one question, which is that, at the daycare where he is now, and most of the schools I can think of, they do not offer financial aid. We are in a school that gives us some subsidy because of my job, but we couldn't move him to a different (maybe better) closer school and afford it. A lot of those schools are around $1800/month ($1600/month?). If we get really good FA, doesn't that change the equation somewhat because it's maybe the only way to get him into as good of a program financially?

I am in no way trying to argue, but just wondering if that changes anyone's thoughts.

Maybe, BUT you'd still have to factor in the cost of childcare during the times when your child is not in this preschool. Also, do you really want your preschooler to have to commute 1.5 hours+ daily just to go to preschool for a few hours.

BTW, if you think that you can afford an extra few $100/month for this preschool, maybe you should think about using that money to rent in a better school district instead, or save that money for a 529 plan.

[Anonymous]

OP, without knowing where you live it is hard to make recommendations but FA is available at other preschools and perhaps even at a preschool that is closer to your home that has better hours and such.

[Anonymous]

No, no, no NO. preschool is all about joining a community, etc. If you live 45 minutes away you'll be total outsiders, playdates won't happen etc. you really want to go to preschool in your immediate area. You have PLENTY of time to worry about academics later.

[Anonymous]

Changes my thoughts a bit (I wondered about this after I posted!), but it really comes down to logistics. OTOH, if you can put the daycare money you're spending now toward a caregiver who can do pick-up and drop off and fill in the gaps, then maybe it's doable. Do one or both of you work near the preschool -- i.e. if you can drop off and pick up closer to the beginning or end of the workday does that basically solve the problem or do you need someone to take your DC home? Alternatively, are both school and home on public transit?

I'd be tempted (post-FA offer) to ask the school if they have a zipcode list of admittees (or just whether they can tell you if anyone in your neck o the woods might be joining the class so you can work together on logistics). You might also ask whether there's a caregiver in the neighborhood of the school who does before/after care. You won't be the first parent to have this issue, so if there's a common solution, the school may know what it is. Another resource for finding a care-giver could be the neighborhood listservs (yahoogroups) near the school. It's also possible that the school itself has a parent listserv (our PreK-12 school does) where you could post an inquiry.

[Anonymous]

I think investing in a great preschool is very much worth the money. I would have to say NO to an afternoon program. It is not the best time for preschool age children to learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think investing in a great preschool is very much worth the money. I would have to say NO to an afternoon program. It is not the best time for preschool age children to learn.

I found that out the hard way... afternoon preschool was just awful. Huge mistake on my part.

[Anonymous]

So my son is in a NAEYC-accredited school and it's good, but having visited the private school, it has NOTHING on it. Really. And to anyone who said that head start is as good but free, you haven't visited the head start programs. I have. I visited 7 of them because we qualified at the time. And they are NOT ANYWHERE in the same range.
So I have one question, which is that, at the daycare where he is now, and most of the schools I can think of, they do not offer financial aid. We are in a school that gives us some subsidy because of my job, but we couldn't move him to a different (maybe better) closer school and afford it. A lot of those schools are around $1800/month ($1600/month?). If we get really good FA, doesn't that change the equation somewhat because it's maybe the only way to get him into as good of a program financially?
I am in no way trying to argue, but just wondering if that changes anyone's thoughts.

I understand your situation because it seems similar to mine but please know that your reality is so different than many of the people on DCUM that you are not likely to get the understanding or support you are seeking. Unfortunately many on DCUM don't seem to understand the plight of those with lower (by DC standards) HHI's. I often see people in your position told to move to a better school district when the neighborhood school will not give what you desire for your child. Head start is NOT a viable option when you are seeking better educational options for many reasons. Head Start is a program for those at or below the poverty line and that brings a host of issues that you probably prefer your DC not to be exposed to. DC is currently enrolled in a charter school and at 4 years old was told recently that her shoes were "old". Sounds silly but it made me realize that the children in some communities are taught poor priorities pretty early one. (WTH do 4 & 5 yr olds know about old shoes anyway?)
Educate your child to the best of your ability. If education is a top priority stick to that despite what the detractors say. We have a similar HHI with 2 children and with low debt and few luxuries we chose Gymboree and dance for socialization, museum trips, library readings, trips to the zoo and every opportunity to teach and interact with DC that we could. It has paid off with generous aid to attend a "Big 3" school. Best of luck! Stick to your guns if this is what you want but think hard about how this will impact your reality and quality of life.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for all the feedback. Especially 14:19.

I do realize that I think most people responding don't quite understand. I spent a little time this afternoon during a break looking at some rentals in the better school districts and it's WAY more expensive. Way way way more. We pay $1375/month for rent for a 1 bedroom + den (very tiny second bedroom). There are literally zero places to rent in better areas that are less than $2100 for that in better school districts. Not an option. The finances don't work out.

I was also a little confused by the whole afternoon preschool thing. My son is in full day care and has been since he was 5 months old. He will continue to be if he doesn't go to this school, so I don't think the PM thing makes much of a difference to me. Am I missing something?

But I think it was helpful to hear what people have to say. We're going to see if we can find a 3 day a week nanny/sitter share . I work close enough to where I can do pick up, but drop off would be hard. We'll see what it costs to have someone take him.

I am hearing that it's not worth turning our lives upside down and I am grateful for that information. If it looks like the logistics will cause serious stress, then we won't do it. I think our son will do best with happy parents who aren't frazzled.

[Anonymous]

When we lived in MD, our child got into a wonderful preschool at DH's workplace in D.C. (we'd been on the waitlist for 2+ years). So, we took DC out of her daycare 10 minutes from our house, and drove DC the 1+ hour drive into D.C., and the 1+ drive back. If you've ever driven down Connecticut to D.C. during rush hour, you'll know that the hour-long journey can quickly lengthen.

We ended up exhausted and frustrated. DC HATED the trip to and from preschool. Sometimes DC would fall asleep on the way in, and then cause a tsumami when we had to wake her up at school. Plus, we were paying almost $2000 a month, so it really put us into dire straits.

We ended up moving to Washington, and DC now goes to a public school. I have no clue how we survived those 2 years, but if given a choice, I would never do it again. I don't believe that what DC got for that amount of money and stress was worth it for preschool.