you sound difficult. it is the first time she has done this in all the time of having your key and you are going to change the locks?!!
She is family. Maybe she didn't think you were home...your car wasn't where it normally was so she let herself in to get her camera. Obviously you don't like her other than for what she can do for you..house sit and babysit but she is your husband's mother so I would let him be the one to discuss with her the rues about using the key. Your negative feelings about her and your immediate reaction to change your locks to keep her out aren't going to build any bridges. |
"I am going to change the locks, and have a master key made and stamped with DO NOT COPY. "
This doesn't always work. |
"My DH and I do have a pretty good sex life, and he has done me on the kitchen counter in the daytime before."
DH bends me over the dining room table. Better traction. |
Exactly. And given the harsh and rude way OP has responded to anyone who doesn't take her side, I c an jut bet she was A total bitch to her MIL. You sound like a total ass, OP. |
Yes. +1 |
Rule number one: do not under ANY condition, give a key to MIL!!!!!! Are you nuts OP?!?!?! |
Obviously I don't like her? Obviously you neglected to read my entire post. How much do you think she babysits for me anyway? Last time was like four months ago. I actually gave her a key as an act of trust. I have been specific as to when she was to use the key. One time she brought her best friend and her brother over to see our house while we were out of town. Hey, if you think it is acceptable for your MIL to be walking in on you when you are not expecting it, in your OWN house, then more power to you. I think you just like giving me a hard time. I have to admit, it is entertaining. |
\ Really? Did you read my original post? Please tell me where I was a bitch to my MIL? When have I ever used the word bitch? You are the one calling me names honey. In fact a couple of times. I think it is just fun to rub someone's nose in their problems. I said pretty clearly that I was calm and kind when I spoke to my MIL. She is the one who flipped out. Wow, you really need to learn how to read carefully and digest all the information. |
I'm not sure of the personalities and dynamics but I can see the potential for this to blow up into changed locks and not speaking since "the incident". I'm not sure why she could not have called or sent email or text to say she thought she left her camera there and would be stopping by. That is odd. But bottom line if you are worried, change the deadbolt lock so it is on a different key and can be locked from the inside or add a chain. If I have to give out a key but worry about someone coming in unexpectedly while I'm home, that ensures they can't get in when I'm home unless I undo the other lock. Also, let DH deal with his mom on the issue. I think a parent will in general deal better with criticism/admonishments from their own kids better than from the spouses of their kid. Not to say the reaction would be good, but I think it would be worse when the message comes from the daughter-in-law or son-in-law. |
OP, you asked if you were out of line. Accept the fact that some people do in fact think you were out of line. Relax for crying out loud and don't ask questions you don't want answered. |
My doors generally stay unlocked and relatives come and go whether they are invited or not. I do think it is a little strange for MIL to show up unannounced and let herself in but as these things go I would just defer to my elders and assume it was an honest mistake and not call her out on it. Despite the dog in the yard and the car in the driveway, who really knows what she was thinking other than she needed to get her camera from her sons house. Sounds like you surprised eachother and she went a little looney. So what. OP, you made a bad situation worse. |
I would try to diffuse this even though she was in the wrong. Changing the locks will prove to her that you don't trust her.
Instead, email or call to say you are sorry you overreacted because you were surprised. Tell her you do trust her and now that she knows your preference you trust her to not use the key in that way. If she still comes in when she shouldn't then your DH can ask for the key back. |
time to take the key away for awhile or forever. hire a service to take care of your pets, worth the money. |
regardless of whether you are home or not, you have the right to expect that you can control who enters when and how. |
Just remember that you too will be someone's MIL one day. Treat yours like family. |