ugly divorce, no family, where did you find support?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a therapist if you don't already have one-it sounds like you're schedule is already tight, I have friends who have done therapy through telemedicine and said they were happy with the convenience. Lean on your friends, and if you feel like you don't have friends invest some time and energy in reconnecting or reaching out to new people-I was very social isolated at the time of my divorce. I reconnected with some people, met people through my college alum network, really made an effort to connect with families at my child's daycare, joined an activist group-now I feel like I have a big network I can draw on when I need to and those people collectively make me feel so much better about life! You might see if you can find a closed/secret facebook group for divorced parents-I'm in one for divorced queer parents, and it's great for talking through just the kind of issues you have posted about. Finally, google "Big gray rock" if you don't already know it-it's a strategy for dealing with with people you have to be in contact with who manipulate/take advantage/push the limits. Good luck, this is a hard time but it does get better.

Uhh, didn't realize the OP was from 2015! Hopefully the advice above is still useful to someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It's social, he misses his friends, they have parties or "events" and he wants to participate... I do document, but it's just very very stressful the number of requests, his reaction ("you should be GRATEFUL that I'm offering you the chance to spend time with our son. i'll take a trade any weekend, even in JUNE, what's wrong with you that you can't do this?"), and the fact that he cc:s his parents and others (and who am I going to cc my sick father?). I just feel very beseiged.

Also we only have a temporary order. We have a court date in June. That's why my attorney encourages cooperation, flexibility, etc.

Hi OP - some of the things you mention sound exactly like my ex. We have a toddler, going through custody. One of the reasons of our split was because ex can never get enough socializing, traveling for fun and living as if he was in his 20s. Initially he did was only doing visitation (around 10% of the time, but now that we are in the middle of divorcing he wants 50/50, I suspect child support is part of it. He is requesting 50/50 but wants flexibility to travel up to two weeks (either personal or work travel) and then either make up his time later or has even suggested to hire a babysitter that I can use to help me when he is away during "his time." My lawyer said that's crazy, as this is not at all in the best interests of DC. What about his need for stability and predictability? I also do not want to switch around the schedule to allow him to make up time. My lawyer told me I can say no to things that sound unreasonable, so I accommodate his travel needs but there's no make up time, we just pick up the schedule when he returns. I also have my family really far away. It's been extremely difficult at times but I'm doing better every day. If you want to talk in private let me know.

[Anonymous]

YouTube channel 'divorced dad' has been so wonderful to me, a mother in a very toxic divorce. Many if not most of his subscribers are women.