SAH: what are the "best" years to stay at home?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| My inclination would be that it would be ideal to stay at home or work part time so that you can be there for your kids after school from elementary school onwards. I think it is important to have lots of time with them at all points during their lives, but they really don't remember as much when they are young and, if you do your childcare situation right, they should be secure babies and toddlers. |
Anonymous
| The main difference will be what you do during the time that your kids are in school vs. Chasing toddlers and preschoolers. If you prefer being busy you would probably prefer the younger years. If you prefer having less to do during the day, the older years. |
Anonymous
Just because they don't remember as much from the early years doesn't mean that you are needed less! |
Anonymous
Kids need quality child care during the early years, not particularly from their parents 24/7. 8) |
Anonymous
Link, please. |
Anonymous
For link please, refer to any book on attachment parenting, such as the Continuum Concept. Or follow common sense - if the parent/child bond meant nothing, and anyone could do, then women would just hand over their babies to nice caregivers from day one. |
Anonymous
|
I loved loved loved the baby years. I can't imagine not being around for the first smile, crawling, walking, etc. It's so darn cute. And being sleep deprived isn't so bad as a SAHM since the only boss you have to answer to is a little bundle cooing in the crib.
|
Anonymous
Ah, the cutesy SAHM as professional job - "the only boss you have to answer to is a little bundle" and the like. It completely dismisses the fact that the "boss" and all "performance reviews" etc. are earning you no money and each year, no retirement benefits, and each year decreasing your earning power. Fine if it works out and it will for many women who stay home, but I can't stand when women dismiss it like that. |
Anonymous
Give it a break...the OP asked for an opinion. I gave her mine. You don't have to agree with it nor does the OP, but you didn't ask for it, OP did. |
Anonymous
|
I really enjoyed staying home the first four years. There is no other time in your child's life like it. Some days we would stay home in pajamas and snuggle and read all day in bed. Other days, we would go out and explore DC, visiting a couple of museums, grab lunch, watch some airplanes land. We would have so much fun in the classes we signed up for. I taught her so much. I really gave her an awesome head start in school. Anyway, she was not my boss. We were buddies, and I miss those times. And, she remembers!
It all depends on the mom I think. We also only have one child. She turned out to be a totally awesome toddler. She was just so easy and fun. Plus, I did not feel pressured to stay in the workforce at all. The level of childcare we would have desired for the early years would have eaten up a good chunk of my paycheck. And, since I was so keen on staying home anyway it was an easy decision to stay home right away and return to work when she went off to school. I actually have an aunt that decided to stay at home after her preteens started to get in trouble. The consensus of everyone I talked to about it was "too late." But, that is not to say staying home the first four years is going to prevent any trouble. I think my point is that you really need to be present in your kids lives throughout their childhood wether you are staying at home or not. |
Anonymous
Oh, brother! Could DH not imagine not being around for the first smile, crawling, walking, etc. 
|
Anonymous
At least the "loved, loved, loved" nitwit admits she stayed home for HERSELF. 8) |
Anonymous
Why can't you stand it? Is it because you are one of these people whose life is set to rush hour traffic and the gray gloomy ordeal of money grubbing? Her causal dismissal of bosses and maxxed-out 401k plans tied to a volatile stock market and junk bonds perhaps give you pause to think that maybe all your efforts of money grubbing and boss butt kissing is a big waste of time, and perhaps it disturbs you that all your slaving away, putting up with people only because they have the power to inconvenience you, when you ought to be home yourself with your little one, makes you feel guilty because you know what is right but you choose instead to grub for the dollar to maintain a certain lifestyle. Perhaps you have to grub for it but if you don't, why bother? I'm sure (sarcasm here) when she is 80 years old she's going to wish she had padded her 401k all the way instead of taking time out for the wonderful pleasure of seeing the content, sweet smile on her dear child in the crib. Some things are priceless, and being with your newborn cherishing motherhood is one of them. Long days at work, face pinched from stress and feet pinched from being in high heel shoes all day, yeah, that's what I'm sure she wants to remember in her gray-hair years instead of fondly remembering the day when the sun was slanting just right through the window illuminating her child like an angel, her sleeping baby snug and safe with mommy instead of a jaded nanny or in a conveyor belt day care center. Motherhood is the most important and rewarding career a woman can have. It is where she belongs. There is time enough to sock away a little cash after the children are grown and have flown the nest |
Anonymous
|
OP, I actually think 18-3 yrs is a good timeline for a reason I don't think has been mentioned yet.
This can be a REALLY challenging time discipline-wise. I mean, not that it's not challenging later on, but I feel that if you can be the kind of parent who creates consistent rules and consequences at this age, it makes everything smoother down the road. And-- arguments over SAH vs. WOH aside-- in my personal experience, it is SO much easier to discipline a child when I know I've spent plenty of quality time with her during the day, given her plenty of positive attention, etc. What is hard is coming home from a long day, being excited to see my LO, and having to spend the little time we're together doing time-outs, admonishing, etc...esp. when deep down I know exactly how she feels after a long, stressful, tiring day and I just want to say "sure, stick your feet on the table and throw your peas. I feel like doing it, too, after a crappy day. In fact, let's just eat ice cream and watch TV while we eat." 
It's also a really fun time, a time I hate to miss, because every day you hear a new word and as you hit 2 yrs and move on, for many kids you can start to have real, silly conversations which are easier to decode the more time you spend with your child. They start singing songs. Become super-affectionate. I can't see any better way to truly enjoy this time than to know for certain you have a job lined up 2 years down the road.
|
Anonymous
|
"I'm sure (sarcasm here) when she is 80 years old she's going to wish she had padded her 401k all the way instead of taking time out for the wonderful pleasure of seeing the content, sweet smile on her dear child in the crib."
Or, she'll be the crazy cat lady on my block. |