So, where do kids with this profile end up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he's interested in medium-large schools, Clemson, Auburn, U South Carolina, UNC Wilmington, Eastern Carolina, Coastal Carolina, Ohio State, are a few the move "average" (for around here) go. I'd love to hear if others have found smaller schools that have appealed to kids with this profile.

Clemson might be a stretch. The Georges would be out since he's local. If he was from Montana -Georgetown. If from NJ , GW or American would be reaches.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/new-jerseys-student-drain-is-gain-for-district-colleges/2012/01/19/gIQAkjiAMQ_story.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know, OP, kids change a lot from 9th-12th grade. Mine certainly did -- 3 boys -- all had pretty lousy grades in 9th grade and all ended up at very competitive colleges. On his own, each found an activity he pursued with passion and through which he became a leader. On his own, each decided to pull up his grades and pursue a more rigorous courseload. They were all good test-takers, but DH and I pushed them to do test prep to max out on scores. I'm not saying you or your kid want to do any or all of this, but just noting that it's possible.

Yes, you're right of course. He's still very young. Of course the opposite could happen too and he could lose interest in school, drop out of extracurriculars and barely scrape through to graduation.

This came up for me because he's picking classes for next year, and I'm trying to figure out how much to push, and where. I sometimes feel like the culture of the area, his school, and my family is that only the "top" will do. In contrast, I happen to work in a field where I know a fair amount about options for kids who really struggle. What I don't have is a great sense of options for well rounded kids in the middle.

As we take vacations, or visit family, I'd like to drop in to see a variety of colleges so that he starts to get a sense of what he might like -- big? small? rural? suburban? urban? etc . . . I don't want to do what my own father did and just show him schools I already know (in my dad's case this meant schools that had good football teams!), and I don't want to set up a situation where we only look at schools that might be out of reach for him. I think that would be very depressing when it came time to apply. So having these lists is helpful, even though he might end up needing something totally different.

[Anonymous]

If you're willing to give up the name schools and search for a true best fit --and it sounds like you are-- I suggest reading "40 Colleges That Change Lives." I wish the book were a bit more updated and a bit more inclusive but reading it gets you excited about the college search. There are lots of us with kids not at top tier colleges--it just doesn't feel that way.

[Anonymous]

6:37 here -- OP, I get what you're saying and really applaud you for your willingness to accept your son as he is. You're right that the culture we live in -- whether it's related to this area geographically or to this income/educational bracket -- does not encourage parents to love children in such an unconditional way for who they are. Instead, we're encouraged to love our children for their accomplishments.

You are right, too, in considering a range of schools to visit, including -- and especially -- schools where your child has a likelihood of being admitted with his current grades and courseload. Many parents don't do this and, regardless of how accomplished their kids are, it can put even greater pressure on the kids during what is already a stressful process. Moreover, it can lead to the kids who don't luck out in the crap shoot that is college admissions today feeling that they've failed -- even when they go to the school rated 5th in US News, rather than the one rated 1st.

That said, I would also add that many young people -- esp. boys and men -- are late bloomers. I went to a top law school and was amazed not so much by how many of my classmates had graduated from Ivy schools, but by how many had gone to schools nobody had heard of. Often they were guys and those whom I got to know as friends would often have a story about having had a very casual attitude about school until quite late in high school or even during their college years. The spark can light long past anyone expects.

Good luck with the college hunt! Oh -- and take a look at Earlham.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:6:37 here -- OP, I get what you're saying and really applaud you for your willingness to accept your son as he is. You're right that the culture we live in -- whether it's related to this area geographically or to this income/educational bracket -- does not encourage parents to love children in such an unconditional way for who they are. Instead, we're encouraged to love our children for their accomplishments.

You are right, too, in considering a range of schools to visit, including -- and especially -- schools where your child has a likelihood of being admitted with his current grades and courseload. Many parents don't do this and, regardless of how accomplished their kids are, it can put even greater pressure on the kids during what is already a stressful process. Moreover, it can lead to the kids who don't luck out in the crap shoot that is college admissions today feeling that they've failed -- even when they go to the school rated 5th in US News, rather than the one rated 1st.

That said, I would also add that many young people -- esp. boys and men -- are late bloomers. I went to a top law school and was amazed not so much by how many of my classmates had graduated from Ivy schools, but by how many had gone to schools nobody had heard of. Often they were guys and those whom I got to know as friends would often have a story about having had a very casual attitude about school until quite late in high school or even during their college years. The spark can light long past anyone expects.

Good luck with the college hunt! Oh -- and take a look at Earlham.

Thanks!

I totally get what you're saying, and also think it's a little sad that the bolded is even a question. I have a bright, happy, polite, kid. He's on or above grade level in school, works hard, teachers love him, gets solid grades, takes responsibility, involved in extracurriculars, headed to college. The notion that that's something I should be accepting, rather than celebrating, because the scores on some test are likely to be average, and the name of the college might be less familiar to some, or appear a little lower on the U.S. News survey, says more to me about our society, than about my kid.

To be clear, I don't think you're saying that, but sometimes, I feel that's the message I get from others.

I will definitely add Earlham to the list!

[Anonymous]

There are tons of small liberal arts colleges in the NE and PA/NY, many of which would be a good fit. I'd pull out a college guide, find some that at least meet the grade/SAT score averages you are assuming, and get some ideas. I don't have high school aged kids, and I know that the level of competitiveness has increased since I applied to college ages ago, but back in my day your son would've been a good fit at colleges like Bentley, Lafayette, Dickinson, Fordham, Hamilton, Union, Skidmore, possibly Bucknell or Lehigh.

[Anonymous]

It has gotten a lot more competitive. Hamilton, Dickinson and Lehigh are no longer safeties for most kids.

[Anonymous]

For a VA student with this profile GMU, James Madison and Christopher Newport would not be a sure bets and may even be a bit of a stretch.

[Anonymous]

Have you thought about SEC schools OP? Small midatlantic liberal arts schools aren't a great fit for everyone. Our daughter went to Alabama and our son is a sophomore at UGA. DS sounds quite a bit like your son and is having the time of his life in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It has gotten a lot more competitive. Hamilton, Dickinson and Lehigh are no longer safeties for most kids.

Also Bucknell.

[Anonymous]

In reference to the military suggestion above - a nice, genial kid, who's happy to engage in team sports more for the cameraderie is probably NOT going to be happy in a line of work that emphasizes fierce competition, a take charge personality and leadership as primary attributes for promotion.

He sounds like a kid that would really enjoy collaborative and flat organizations or at least fields that have some potential for that and would probably shine as mediator, organizer and leader in groups like that. He may find that his extracurriculars in HS also offer more chances to do that kind of thing. (Yearbook, etc?)

[Anonymous]

Aw, he sounds like exactly the personality that I went to college with a lot of at St. Mary's (in S. Md)! My room mates all got good preparations for professional/grad school, and went on to do well and we all got great educations, etc but the thing I recall best about it is a friend of mine saying, "you know the thing about the people we went to college with is that they're just really NICE." It does seem to get tone and tenor right in terms of making a fun, lively student body that's laid back but too energetic and smart to be slackers. It's really rural, though, so not as much of the college-town experience, which I would have enjoyed.

[Anonymous]

I know kids like that who've been happy at Macalester and College of Wooster and, though it's more of a tech school, Purdue. I think there really is something to midwesterners' reputation for being a little less sharp edged ; )

In the arts, I've been surprised by how many times I've talked to people who've majored in things like design and fine arts and then actually gotten paid jobs doing that are Kent State grads.

[Anonymous]

My guess is that the OP's son will end up getting higher than 1740 on the SATs and will have more options than some of you are suggesting.

[Anonymous]

OP -- make sure your son takes an SAT prep course...that will increase the chances of where he can go to school. I like the idea of St. Marys based upon what you've told us here...it's a state school but nice and small. If you want to stay in-state -- he can go to C.C. for 2 years and transfer to UMD...maybe Montgomery College. You didn't mention your financial situation...but if you qualify for aid -- you could explore some small privates. Good luck.