Reply to So, where do kids with this profile end up?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]6:37 here -- OP, I get what you're saying and[b] really applaud you for your willingness to accept your son as he is[/b].  You're right that the culture we live in -- whether it's related to this area geographically or to this income/educational bracket -- does not encourage parents to love children in such an unconditional way for who they are.  Instead, we're encouraged to love our children for their accomplishments.

You are right, too, in considering a range of schools to visit, including -- and especially -- schools where your child has a likelihood of being admitted with his current grades and courseload.  Many parents don't do this and, regardless of how accomplished their kids are, it can put even greater pressure on the kids during what is already a stressful process.  Moreover, it can lead to the kids who don't luck out in the crap shoot that is college admissions today feeling that they've failed -- even when they go to the school rated 5th in US News, rather than the one rated 1st.

That said, I would also add that many young people -- esp. boys and men -- are late bloomers.  I went to a top law school and was amazed not so much by how many of my classmates had graduated from Ivy schools, but by how many had gone to schools nobody had heard of.  Often they were guys and those whom I got to know as friends would often have a story about having had a very casual attitude about school until quite late in high school or even during their college years.  The spark can light long past anyone expects.

Good luck with the college hunt!  Oh -- and take a look at Earlham.    [/quote]

Thanks!

I totally get what you're saying, and also think it's a little sad that the bolded is even a question. I have a bright, happy, polite, kid.  He's on or above grade level in school, works hard, teachers love him, gets solid grades, takes responsibility, involved in extracurriculars, headed to college.  The notion that that's something I should be accepting, rather than celebrating, because the scores on some test are likely to be average, and the name of the college might be less familiar to some, or appear a little lower on the U.S. News survey, says more to me about our society, than about my kid.

To be clear, I don't think you're saying that, but sometimes, I feel that's the message I get from others.

I will definitely add Earlham to the list![/quote]

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