White kids and cultural misappropriation (or maybe not)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black poster here.

I agree with the poster who mentioned it being all about context.

I grew up in the projects. While they weren't plentiful, there were some white kids in my neighborhood. They did indeed speak in the same slang/jargon as us black kids. One White guy freely said nigger....I was not offended when he did this.

If your son does not have friends who speak slang, etc, then he'd come across as insincere and phoney.
If his friends speak slang, it is not out of the ordinary.

But like a pp cautioned, it's usually best to keep this "within his circle of friends". I would caution your son to not to do this with a group of black boys he doesn't know. Could be a very bad move.

I also "switch up" depending on where I am. If I'm with my group of friends from "around the way", my slang comes out. At work and in professional settings, I'm the consummate professional.

Why is "switch[ing] up" not insincere and phoney? That's how it comes across in the office.

Is that because you assume black people who sound educated are faking it?

Nope. What would you make of someone who shows you one face and then another one to someone else?

Can you give an example? You're being really vague.

[Anonymous]

No the PP is not being vague - just trying to stir the pot.

[Anonymous]

I'd let your kid figure it our fir himself. There is nothing more awkward then an adult that doesn't pick up on normal social cues. How will he develop this skill if your always telling him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No the PP is not being vague - just trying to stir the pot.

I agree. PP is trying to stir the pot. Everyone "switches" between social life and work to some extent. The level of switching depends on the difference between your social life and professional life. Corporate CEO's are totally different when they are out golfing with their buddies than when in the board room. Moms are different when at a PTA meeting or playgroup than when at work. Politicians (well you know where I'm going).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black poster here.

I agree with the poster who mentioned it being all about context.

I grew up in the projects. While they weren't plentiful, there were some white kids in my neighborhood. They did indeed speak in the same slang/jargon as us black kids. One White guy freely said nigger....I was not offended when he did this.

If your son does not have friends who speak slang, etc, then he'd come across as insincere and phoney.
If his friends speak slang, it is not out of the ordinary.

But like a pp cautioned, it's usually best to keep this "within his circle of friends". I would caution your son to not to do this with a group of black boys he doesn't know. Could be a very bad move.

I also "switch up" depending on where I am. If I'm with my group of friends from "around the way", my slang comes out. At work and in professional settings, I'm the consummate professional.

I do the same thing, AA female corporate lawyer also grew up in an impoverished hood. It depends on who I am around and if they share that background and I have black friends I would never talk ghetto slang around because they do not. I find it no different than Caribbean friends who only use an island accent when around other people from the Caribbean.

Why is "switch[ing] up" not insincere and phoney? That's how it comes across in the office.

What I mean by this is that I was raised in the ghetto. I can talk "ghetto" very well. But in a professional setting, this isn't the wisest move, obviously. At work and when I'm out in the world, I am professional, articulate, etc. If I'm at home hanging with my friends, the "ghetto girl" sometimes emerges. Other black people probably know what I'm talking about.

[Anonymous]

Oops quoted wrong....this is my post

I do the same thing, AA female corporate lawyer also grew up in an impoverished hood. It depends on who I am around and if they share that background and I have black friends I would never talk ghetto slang around because they do not. I find it no different than Caribbean friends who only use an island accent when around other people from the Caribbean.

[Anonymous]

AA male, here. OP, you've asked an important question, here. I see this as an expression of bi-cultural appreciation. And, if your son expresses this in a sincere way, it really doesn't matter where he goes, the AA culture will sence his sincerity and accept, if not embrace, him. America is seeing more and more of this kind of cultural fusion, but it is not new -- Eminem and the late Teena Marie come immediately to mind. Sure, you should certainly talk with your son about your feelings on this issue (or any issue), and offer up some of the sage advice you're getting here on this forum. But it doesn't sound like he's doing anything overboard, and in that case, I'd let him fly.

Btw, in response to other posts, I make a distinction between "hip hop" and "gangsta". Most hip hop is kid safe; gangsta not so much. IMO.

[Anonymous]

The switching your language style based on who you're with is called code switching. Everyone does it, to varying extents.

To answer the OP, I'm black American. It depends on the background. Is that how your son grew up and so it's how he truly talks? If so, in school I wouldn't have seen him as acting phony. However, I did know some white people who I guess just appreciated hip hop culture but by emulating the speech patterns, I thought they sounded really stupid. I wasn't offended except when they (mostly boys) would talk to me in hip-hop slang, which was bizarre because I speak standard American English.

I don't think I'd speak to your son unless he's being really over the top about it. Sme people just may think he's weird and obviously acting in a manner that's not natural to him.

[Anonymous]

Eminem is celebrated by both white and especially black people, while Vanilla Ice was not. If your son is genuine, no one, white or black will have a problem with the way he presents himself.

[Anonymous]

NP here and didn't read all the way through so maybe this has already been addressed.

I think that the most important thing is to help him understand that while he may perceive his speech, dress, and music preferences as his "native" context, others may perceive him as borrowing them. The best thing you can teach him is to be gracious if/when it does bother someone and/or they call him out on it. There is a big difference between a person who shares interests with friends and enjoys being part of a group and a person who acts like they are entitled to do whatever, whenever, taking from whomever, because they are white (or male or rich). The polite thing to do is allow appropriation to be defined by those from whom things might be appropriated, and to apologize if that is the case. There's very little more aggravating than someone who refuses to hear that they have offended someone, and if you can teach your son not to be like that you will have done a good deed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eminem is celebrated by both white and especially black people, while Vanilla Ice was not. If your son is genuine, no one, white or black will have a problem with the way he presents himself.

Great comparison. I agree.

[Anonymous]

OP, your son sounds like he has swag. I love a cool white boy.

[Anonymous]

Somebody mentioned "code switching" above. I'm African, spent most of my life here and a bit in Africa. My speech pattern and demeanor changes depending on who I'm with. At work, people often mistake me for white on the phone. Most have no idea that I'm African and when I tell them, they ask if I was born here. With my AA friends, since we grew up in the same neighborhood, that side of me is pronounced. My African friends and acquaintances think I arrived in the US yesterday. I enjoy the versatility and the fact that I can feel comfortable and like myself in any setting. I have a very eclectic taste so it's hard for me to fully identify with just one group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:AA male, here. OP, you've asked an important question, here. I see this as an expression of bi-cultural appreciation. And, if your son expresses this in a sincere way, it really doesn't matter where he goes, the AA culture will sence his sincerity and accept, if not embrace, him. America is seeing more and more of this kind of cultural fusion, but it is not new -- Eminem and the late Teena Marie come immediately to mind. Sure, you should certainly talk with your son about your feelings on this issue (or any issue), and offer up some of the sage advice you're getting here on this forum. But it doesn't sound like he's doing anything overboard, and in that case, I'd let him fly.

Btw, in response to other posts, I make a distinction between "hip hop" and "gangsta". Most hip hop is kid safe; gangsta not so much. IMO.

Hi, OP here. Thanks so much for this thoughtful reply. It's reassuring!

[Anonymous]

I am white and I would have no problem with my son liking hip hop or any other music generally associated with AA. But I would not like it if he spoke slang, let his pants hang down etc. I just don't consider it a proper conduct on anybody. Just being honest here.