White kids and cultural misappropriation (or maybe not)

[Anonymous]

So this is only a question I could comfortably ask in an anonymous forum.

My middle school DS, who is white, loves hip hop and wants to emulate hip hop culture dress and speech. There are a lot of limits I'm comfortable placing on this in terms of appropriate dress at school, language, etc.

However, one thing he does is kind of adopt a "hip hop" way of speaking. This is fine, except that he also has many African American friends and what he's doing sometimes sounds like mimicking a stereotype of African Americans. I know this is not what he means to do but I want to be able to explain to him that this might be viewed as disrespectful or stereotyping and maybe he shouldn't do it.

But is that reasonable? Or am I being ridiculous?

[Anonymous]

Good question. I look forward to this discussion.

[Anonymous]

I look forward to some answers from African American posters myself.

Here's my story: I'm white and I grew up in an area that was predominately AA (Baltimore). I picked up some patterns of speech and jargon that are associated mostly with African Americans. If a black person commented on it to me, they usually said they thought I was cool. I have no idea what people thought who never said anything. Maybe they thought I was a jerk or an idiot. Or maybe they never noticed. No idea. But nobody ever said anything bad to me.

[Anonymous]

Black person here. First, I hate the term "cultural misappropration" - that the hell is that all about.

Now for my two cents. If your child's black friends are not in the habit of engaging in "hip hop" dress and speech then your son will come accross like a total idiot and will likely be ridiculed. If however, the opposite is true he is probably ok. Basically, its all about context. If your son is not smart enough to figure out when and where it is appropriate to go "gangsta" then that is what you should help him with.

[Anonymous]

I'm black, I know people who were not Black but grew up in the same area that I did and who did this. Do I notice? Yes. Does it bother me? No, as long as it is done being done to mock and its generally accepted in their group of friends.

[Anonymous]

It used to be called "whigger" -- white person acting black. I grew up in a mostly black neighborhood and I'm white. I talk white but think black.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So this is only a question I could comfortably ask in an anonymous forum.

My middle school DS, who is white, loves hip hop and wants to emulate hip hop culture dress and speech. There are a lot of limits I'm comfortable placing on this in terms of appropriate dress at school, language, etc.

However, one thing he does is kind of adopt a "hip hop" way of speaking. This is fine, except that he also has many African American friends and what he's doing sometimes sounds like mimicking a stereotype of African Americans. I know this is not what he means to do but I want to be able to explain to him that this might be viewed as disrespectful or stereotyping and maybe he shouldn't do it.

But is that reasonable? Or am I being ridiculous?

He's a mini Eminem.

He's not the only one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black person here. First, I hate the term "cultural misappropration" - that the hell is that all about.

Now for my two cents. If your child's black friends are not in the habit of engaging in "hip hop" dress and speech then your son will come accross like a total idiot and will likely be ridiculed. If however, the opposite is true he is probably ok. Basically, its all about context. If your son is not smart enough to figure out when and where it is appropriate to go "gangsta" then that is what you should help him with.

OP here. So you are a little hostile in this post which basically confirms what I am afraid of.

Yes, he's engaging in speech and dress similar to some of his friends, but they are African American and he's not. No, he's not an idiot. I see what you mean -- if he's a white kid in Potomac going around doing this, he would look stupid. But we live in Silver Spring, where there are plenty of African American kids who do this too but plenty who don't.

Cultural misappropriation is a perfectly reasonable term here, I think. In fact, it is the whole question -- is he appropriating things from a culture not his own and inadvertently offending the members of that culture? Or is hip hop universal enough that people won't be offended?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black person here. First, I hate the term "cultural misappropration" - that the hell is that all about.

Now for my two cents. If your child's black friends are not in the habit of engaging in "hip hop" dress and speech then your son will come accross like a total idiot and will likely be ridiculed. If however, the opposite is true he is probably ok. Basically, its all about context. If your son is not smart enough to figure out when and where it is appropriate to go "gangsta" then that is what you should help him with.

Wow - nice way to put it

Going "gangsta" isn't exactly the best way to go for any person - white, black, Latino, Asian. I teach in a school where plenty think being gangsta is cool. It's not. Furthermore, there are plenty of AA teachers in my school who will not accept any of that behavior in the classroom, and they'll often address it.

So does that mean that OP's son should be fine using the N word, too? After all, isn't that "gangsta?"

[jsteele]

Deep breath and count to 10 people. Everyone here has good intentions. Don't let an interesting conversation get spoiled by over-sensitivity.

[Anonymous]

OP here. No N word!! That's not what I mean. And no gangsta behavior. I'm not worried about bad behavior -- these are all good kids.

[Anonymous]

Why not let your son be who he wants to be and act how he acts?

As he transitions through adolescence he'll figure out his cultural identity and become more confident with it. If some AAs call him out on it, he'll be faced to think about it and hopefully come to you for guidance. If his AA friends haven't said anything about it, let him be. Hip Hop culture is everywhere and hopefully he's accepted for who he is not the color of his skin.

[Anonymous]

To OP:

I think everyone has to talk or think about race at some point in there lives in this country. Black people don't have a lock on that, they just probably have to do it earlier since they are a minority, especially in most DCUM areas.

I would talk to your son about his slang and demeanor and that you want him to know how he might be coming across--some people may appreciate it as cool and some may not. He's not age 5, he's age 13-14 so he's likely had discussions about race relations (MLK day was last week people!).

Just ask him to be aware of the cultural sensitivities around speech, dress and the way people act, and to think about what he says before he speaks. There's no harm in that.

I would say the same thing to a kid when they are thinking about what to wear to school, or how to talk to others, or public speaking. It's part of who you are and how people judge you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black person here. First, I hate the term "cultural misappropration" - that the hell is that all about.

Now for my two cents. If your child's black friends are not in the habit of engaging in "hip hop" dress and speech then your son will come accross like a total idiot and will likely be ridiculed. If however, the opposite is true he is probably ok. Basically, its all about context. If your son is not smart enough to figure out when and where it is appropriate to go "gangsta" then that is what you should help him with.

OP here. So you are a little hostile in this post which basically confirms what I am afraid of.

Yes, he's engaging in speech and dress similar to some of his friends, but they are African American and he's not. No, he's not an idiot. I see what you mean -- if he's a white kid in Potomac going around doing this, he would look stupid. But we live in Silver Spring, where there are plenty of African American kids who do this too but plenty who don't.

Cultural misappropriation is a perfectly reasonable term here, I think. In fact, it is the whole question -- is he appropriating things from a culture not his own and inadvertently offending the members of that culture? Or is hip hop universal enough that people won't be offended?

Op, it was not my intention to be hostile. If I came accross as a bit flippant it becasue I think your question is a bit of a no brainer. Behavior is all about context. Its perfectly ok for your child to be as hip hop as he wants to be if he is with a close groups of friends who behave in a similar fashion (and yes, this includes using the workd nigger). This behaviour, however, may not be ok in school or when addressing an unfamiliar group. In the black community (at least mine) we call this code switching - its an amazing life skill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black person here. First, I hate the term "cultural misappropration" - that the hell is that all about.

Now for my two cents. If your child's black friends are not in the habit of engaging in "hip hop" dress and speech then your son will come accross like a total idiot and will likely be ridiculed. If however, the opposite is true he is probably ok. Basically, its all about context. If your son is not smart enough to figure out when and where it is appropriate to go "gangsta" then that is what you should help him with.

OP here. So you are a little hostile in this post which basically confirms what I am afraid of.

Yes, he's engaging in speech and dress similar to some of his friends, but they are African American and he's not. No, he's not an idiot. I see what you mean -- if he's a white kid in Potomac going around doing this, he would look stupid. But we live in Silver Spring, where there are plenty of African American kids who do this too but plenty who don't.

Cultural misappropriation is a perfectly reasonable term here, I think. In fact, it is the whole question -- is he appropriating things from a culture not his own and inadvertently offending the members of that culture? Or is hip hop universal enough that people won't be offended?

Op, it was not my intention to be hostile. If I came accross as a bit flippant it becasue I think your question is a bit of a no brainer. Behavior is all about context. Its perfectly ok for your child to be as hip hop as he wants to be if he is with a close groups of friends who behave in a similar fashion (and yes, this includes using the workd nigger). This behaviour, however, may not be ok in school or when addressing an unfamiliar group. In the black community (at least mine) we call this code switching - its an amazing life skill.

Thanks PP. All very good advice. That's a good way to approach it.