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OP here. Yes of course my question is generalizing and it would be racist to say ALL older white folks are X. Really I'm just venting here, more from disappointment than anything else.
For the PPs who asked what was said, no, they are not just using outdated terms to refer to AAs. I'm talking about the n-word, a racist joke or anecdote, and it usually goes downhill from there. Even if I really like them, I just can't look at them the same way after that. |
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DH and I dated for years before telling my Grandmother. At first, it was a lot to swallow for her, but she got over it and loved him as much as if he were her own grandchild. She died 2yrs ago at 91.
Her generation, I could see it. She was raised to think black meant less than. She witnessed many things in her lifetime, many changes to the world, and she was capable of rolling with it. I never gave her enough credit. I would think those currently in their 70s would be slightly different but maybe during the Civil Rights movement, they were still young and arrogant, less open to learning? Regardless, at ~70, they likely won't change so just avoid them or when you do have to deal with them, kill em with kindness. |
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If you spent time in any of the countries I've lived in lately, you'd conclude that ALL of the people in those countries are racist because they say racist things, sooner or later. And then you'd be as done with them as you are with "elderly white people."
I've heard people from ALL races here in America saying racist things, BTW. Even in Takoma Park. Sooner or later, everybody is going to say something racist, ageist, misogynist, etc. That includes you, me and everybody on DCUM. |
You guys are too funny!
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| No older black person is racist. I guess the stuff I hear from mY old black neighbor here in DC is just her way of venting about gentrification. |
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I am the "in my experience" pp and chuckle at the contortions people went through to twist/analyze/argue with my words.
True anecdote: My now-deceased grandfather arrives in Ohio after driving from Pennsylvania. He remarks, very seriously, that he was pulled over for speeding enroute by "a very nice black trooper. Very nice black man." He seemed very surprised that the black man was very nice... So, this is the kind of thing I was referring too -- no use of epithets, just... the effects of having lived in a bubble. My MIL is racist as all get-out though. A bit shocking actually. But, she's also showing signs of dementia. |
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The most racist people I have ever met were the following:
My South Asian in-laws. They say things that make my skin crawl. My Ivy League classmates who were minorities. They HATED my interracial relationship with my now-husband. The least-racist people I have ever known were my very white, Irish mother's parents. They took in refugees from Vietnam, marched in civil rights protests, happily watched their children marry outside of their race--including my mother. My grandmother is completely senile now, hasn't spoken in years, but she spends most of her days lovingly rocking an AA baby doll. My family's example led to my unshakeable belief that we are all God's children, priceless and cherished and possessing inalienable dignity. Their example also made me realize hate is learned. People aren't born racist. I was lucky to have a great upbringing. My in-laws come from a culture where racism (and sexism) are completely normal. That understanding is what allows me to love them, even though they hold abhorrent beliefs. |
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This is so funny. I still call ppl black. I grew up in NOVA in the 80's and I too got a diverse upbringing. Not to mention my family is white (paternal gma found background to DAR), mom immigrated here in 7's from South America, and my ex was black so first biracial child in both families. My grandmother never said much when I was lil but my dad lived through that desegregation thing in Arlington and he didnt like some of those black ppl because they were assholes to him. But I think some ppl act like assholes now because Obamma is president for now. Too bad Powwell couldn't make it happen 20years ago.
I agree these old school ppl will die. Now I'll just have to deal w/ my mom when she starts losing it about Al-queda. She refers to muslims as Al-queda. |
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My dad will also refer to people as black. He worked for the federal govt in dc for many years, so he had a lot of black friends, went to a black church or two for weddings, funerals, etc., but always referred to his or my friends/colleagues as black before any other descriptor.
We talked about this once, and he explained to me that he didn't meet a black person until he was in college. He is in his mid 70s and grew up in the mid-west. He didn't grow up thinking black people were 'different', just didn't think about them at all.. |
Just curious . . . how do you describe someone to another person? Do you use words like professional? educated? young? old? Asian? special needs? Jewish? Christian? Muslim? short? tall? thin? heavy? Unless a statement is made in a derogatory, racist, taunting, ostracizing manner, I think there are many people who make statements using descriptive terms without meaning to offend--not to say that those descriptions need to be included in a statement but that they aren't necessarily bigoted. |
No, not all are. My father (birth year 1918) definitely is not--and never has been. Civil rights movement and all that. He's originally from CA. My paternal grandfather (birht year 1906) was not either, but he was German so that might be different. My husband is AA, and my family is Caucasian. Guess it rubbed off.
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FWIW, my husband is black, errr, AA. And prefers "black" to "African American". So everyone is different in that regard. |
| In my experience, racism is not unique to whites. But, most of the racists I've known were white. My family is white, as are most of my friends, so my experience is not exactly representative of the entire population or even enough for a comparative review. |
| We're all doomed. Everyone hates everyone and there's no end in sight. |
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PP 09:15, thank you for giving us an example of racism. I would suggest reading this:
http://travonfree.wordpress.com/2011/12/05/an-open-letter-to-newt-gingrich-from-a-black-kid-who-grew-up-in-a-poor-neighborhood/ But I know racists aren't likely to change their views from a single blog post. |