Jokes - clean and dirty

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Math joke:

What did the baby acorn say when he grew up and realised what he had become? "Gee! I am a tree!" (geometry)


Why is the 6 afraid of the 7? Because 7 8 9!

Wow, you actually told it wrong. In your version, the answer would be, because the 7 8 the 9, which isn't funny.

Go away.

[Anonymous]

How many lead singers does it take to screw in in a lightbulb?
One. He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
(The beauty is, you can sub any profession or group that you believe to be self-centered.)

How many Episcopalians does it take to change a lightbulb?
CHANGE IT!?!? My grandmother donated that lightbulb!
(Again, sub any group opposed to change and worshipful of ancestry.)

[Anonymous]

What do you call chesse that doesn't belong to you?

Nacho cheese!

[Anonymous]

A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: To.
B: To who?
A, very coldly: To whom.

[Anonymous]

What kinda of meat do priests eat on Friday?
Nun

[Anonymous]

An Irish guy walks out of a bar ...

No really it could happen.

[Anonymous]

What did God say after creating man?

"I know I can do better than this..."

[Anonymous]

What did god say after Eve went swimming?
Great, how am I gonna get that smell out of the fish!

[Anonymous]

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

[Anonymous]

Why do dogs lick their balls?
Because they can.

[Anonymous]

Clean:

What's the capital of Greece?
--About E2.43.

Dirty:

A West Virgnian is sitting at a bar, when a gay guy comes in.

The gay guy whispers in the West Virginian's ear, "I'd love to give you a blowjob."

The West Virginian then proceeds to beat up the gay guy and then returns to his seat. The bartender asks what the gay guy said.

"I dunno, something about giving me a job."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clean:

What's the capital of Greece?
--About E2.43.

Dirty:

A West Virgnian is sitting at a bar, when a gay guy comes in.

The gay guy whispers in the West Virginian's ear, "I'd love to give you a blowjob."

The West Virginian then proceeds to beat up the gay guy and then returns to his seat. The bartender asks what the gay guy said.

"I dunno, something about giving me a job."

When I heard that joke 20 years ago, it wasn't a West Virginian that was averse to work. If you're going to tell dirty jokes, why be PC about it?

[Anonymous]

Q: How is a just-deflowered virgin like a ship just after Pearl Harbor?

A. Both their cockpits are filled with bloody seamen.

[Anonymous]

Q: Why is Helen Keller a bad driver?

A: Because she's a woman.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps the worst one I've ever heard:

Q: How does a West Virginia mother know her daughter is having her period?

A: Because her son's cock tastes like shit.