Living in Fairfax County and sending kids to private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People comment on our private school choice all the time. There are many many reasons why we went private. I use the less offensive reasons when asked for our reasoning behind choosing a private school politely. When someone is confrontational or nasty, I am less diplomatic. But I get questions all the time.

I am not the above posted but feel the same way.

My more offensive reasons are:
-Class size, at the time we looked our public school we were told that the ideal size was 28 but it could be up to 32, this does include an assistant. The school we ended up going to has 25 kids. I have heard the upper grades have 30 kids in the classroom.

-The principal rubbed us the wrong way, although people say great things about him.

-No Spanish class. We were told that it is an afterschool add on in the upper grades. The school we are at now has Spanish once a week and my son has been taking Spanish since preschool. The best time to learn a language is when you are really young.

-Big environment. Public 4-5 classes for K; Catholic 2 classes for K.

-Would need to be in before and aftercare in public; only need to have aftercare in Catholic due to earlier school day start.

-I have been told by numerous people that the teachers are hesitant to discipline the kids in public school. They do a really good job of teaching kids guidelines and self control in our Catholic school.

-The public middle school is a total zoo and the police were called last spring to break up a gang fight early one morning. It is just easier to have your child start at Catholic school in grade K than to transfer them in middle school to avoid this crazy middle school situation.

So while these are really not "offensive", if you tell someone who is sending their child to the public school these reasons why you don't want your child to attend public school, it makes it sound like you think they are making a bad decision.

I typically tell people that the reason why is that we wanted our child to attend Catholic school is that we wanted him to have a Catholic education. That usually ends the conversation. And then for people that are really annoying and continue...I just eventually tell them that this is really our business and our decision.

Do tell. What are the "offensive" reasons?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an aside and a serious question, why live in Fairfax if you're going to try and send your kids to Holton or Sidwell? Why have such a drive? Just a question not a comment on your decision.

There are many private schools in the area, with Holton and Sidwell being the farthest from our home in Fairfax County. Potomac, St. Stephens and St. Agnes, and for some locations within Fairfax Beauvoir, Maret, St. Pat's, and GDS aren't bad drives. For us, we work about half the time in Virginia, live near the river and lots of outdoor public spaces and activities, enjoy lower taxes, and live near family. If our kids are accepted, we'll also have access to Fairfax County GT programs, and we're within boundaries for Thomas Jefferson. For us, it's the best balance. We lived in DC for years, though, and have a good group of friends there as well. As a result, we feel pretty connected and familiar with several DC neighborhoods. This may have made it easier for us to get to know other families at our kids' school (easy suggestions of where to meet up, friends in common, etc.).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an aside and a serious question, why live in Fairfax if you're going to try and send your kids to Holton or Sidwell? Why have such a drive? Just a question not a comment on your decision.

There are many private schools in the area, with Holton and Sidwell being the farthest from our home in Fairfax County. Potomac, St. Stephens and St. Agnes, and for some locations within Fairfax Beauvoir, Maret, St. Pat's, and GDS aren't bad drives. For us, we work about half the time in Virginia, live near the river and lots of outdoor public spaces and activities, enjoy lower taxes, and live near family. If our kids are accepted, we'll also have access to Fairfax County GT programs, and we're within boundaries for Thomas Jefferson. For us, it's the best balance. We lived in DC for years, though, and have a good group of friends there as well. As a result, we feel pretty connected and familiar with several DC neighborhoods. This may have made it easier for us to get to know other families at our kids' school (easy suggestions of where to meet up, friends in common, etc.).

"within boundaries for Thomas Jefferson"
Do you mean the magnet high school for which to attend one must apply and be accepted?
Being "within boundaries" doesn't mean anything.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure by within boundaries for TJ she means she lives in one of the jurisdictions from where eligible students are able to attend TJ after being accepted. DC is not.

[Anonymous]

You can't apply to TJ if you live in the District or Arlington--it's a FFC county--that's what I think the poster meant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in a highly desirable school district but after going to the open house determined that the public school would probably not be the best fit for our child. We decided to send him to a small Catholic school. When I told some friends in the nieghborhood some people were really surprised and gave us push back. There were mulitple reasons to send our child to the school we chose but we didn't really share all of those reasons as it would have made it sound like we thought their choice was wrong.

I don't think that people are wrong to send their children to the public school in our nieghborhood, it just wasn't the right fit for our child and our family. I was surprised by how nasty some people were and how great some people were. People who really knew about the Catholic school we are at have said what a great school it is. Everyone else I just take as jealous, petty people who should just mind their own business.

When we moved to our neighborhood one of the plusses at the time was the public school. As our child got older, and we really started to look at schools, the public school was not as desirable for our family as was this Catholic school.

And I do not regret one second sending my child to Catholic school. My child loves it and so do we.

I bet money your kid goes to St. Louis. As a non-Catholic, I question the sanity of ANYBODY sending their kid to Catholic school, but that's just me...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People comment on our private school choice all the time. There are many many reasons why we went private. I use the less offensive reasons when asked for our reasoning behind choosing a private school politely. When someone is confrontational or nasty, I am less diplomatic. But I get questions all the time.

I am not the above posted but feel the same way.

My more offensive reasons are:
-Class size, at the time we looked our public school we were told that the ideal size was 28 but it could be up to 32, this does include an assistant. The school we ended up going to has 25 kids. I have heard the upper grades have 30 kids in the classroom.

-The principal rubbed us the wrong way, although people say great things about him.

-No Spanish class. We were told that it is an afterschool add on in the upper grades. The school we are at now has Spanish once a week and my son has been taking Spanish since preschool. The best time to learn a language is when you are really young.

-Big environment. Public 4-5 classes for K; Catholic 2 classes for K.

-Would need to be in before and aftercare in public; only need to have aftercare in Catholic due to earlier school day start.

-I have been told by numerous people that the teachers are hesitant to discipline the kids in public school. They do a really good job of teaching kids guidelines and self control in our Catholic school.

-The public middle school is a total zoo and the police were called last spring to break up a gang fight early one morning. It is just easier to have your child start at Catholic school in grade K than to transfer them in middle school to avoid this crazy middle school situation.

So while these are really not "offensive", if you tell someone who is sending their child to the public school these reasons why you don't want your child to attend public school, it makes it sound like you think they are making a bad decision.

I typically tell people that the reason why is that we wanted our child to attend Catholic school is that we wanted him to have a Catholic education. That usually ends the conversation. And then for people that are really annoying and continue...I just eventually tell them that this is really our business and our decision.

Do tell. What are the "offensive" reasons?

You are really outing yourself, honey.

I hope you found what you are looking for at St. Louis b/c most of your reasons for not going to WW turned out not to be true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an aside and a serious question, why live in Fairfax if you're going to try and send your kids to Holton or Sidwell? Why have such a drive? Just a question not a comment on your decision.

There are many private schools in the area, with Holton and Sidwell being the farthest from our home in Fairfax County. Potomac, St. Stephens and St. Agnes, and for some locations within Fairfax Beauvoir, Maret, St. Pat's, and GDS aren't bad drives. For us, we work about half the time in Virginia, live near the river and lots of outdoor public spaces and activities, enjoy lower taxes, and live near family. If our kids are accepted, we'll also have access to Fairfax County GT programs, and we're within boundaries for Thomas Jefferson. For us, it's the best balance. We lived in DC for years, though, and have a good group of friends there as well. As a result, we feel pretty connected and familiar with several DC neighborhoods. This may have made it easier for us to get to know other families at our kids' school (easy suggestions of where to meet up, friends in common, etc.).

But you're still the outsider in both neighborhoods. At home and at your kids school.

[Anonymous]

To 13:49

Actually I live in McLean.

[Anonymous]

00:00 posting again. When asked about why we chose a private school for our child, people have taken offense to the following:

1. Class size: Our class sizes are 20-22 and we have full time assistants in the classroom through second grade.

2. Number of classes per grade: we have 2 classes per grade not 4 or 5 or 7.

3. Discipline: Our kids are subject to behavioral requirements. If they can't adhere after working with the administration, they are counseled out. My kid has very few distractions in the classroom from others who have never been required to behave themselves before.

4. If there is some question of wrongdoing in school or out of school, our school's policy is to inform parents when a student will be questioned about their own involvement or knowledge of wrongdoing. If police show up at school requesting to speak to a student about involvement in or knowledge of criminal activity, they are denied access to the student and the parents are informed. In FCPS, administrators and staff and teachers may question students without informing parents and police are given access to students without parents being informed. This isn't usually an issue in elementary school, but in MS and HS this is a major issue.

5. Zero tolerance: Our school does not have a zero tolerance discipline policy.

6. Community: After a year or so, we know our school families. I know each child by name in my daughter's grade. I know all of the parents. We see many of them daily at drop off and pick up (no elementary transportation). When my kid is having trouble with a friend or their is some mean girl behavior starting, we don't hesitate to call each other.

7. Spanish: Our kids have had Spanish in school since preschool. There is a dedicated elementary school Spanish teacher and another teacher only for the MS grades. Spanish is an after school activity for my friend's kids at a highly regarded Vienna public ES.

8. Science: Our kids have hard science class every day and computer class once or twice per week. I have a friend with a child in public school who isn't being taught science this year because science isn't on the SOLs.

9. Homework: No homework in K. Homework is not to take more than one hour in grade 3 or higher. No homework over weekends or holidays (unless it is unfinished work). No major projects over school breaks.

Having learned that other people find these reasons offensive, I usually say we wanted her to have a Catholic education. If someone is being very confrontational, I am less diplomatic about my answers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an aside and a serious question, why live in Fairfax if you're going to try and send your kids to Holton or Sidwell? Why have such a drive? Just a question not a comment on your decision.

There are many private schools in the area, with Holton and Sidwell being the farthest from our home in Fairfax County. Potomac, St. Stephens and St. Agnes, and for some locations within Fairfax Beauvoir, Maret, St. Pat's, and GDS aren't bad drives. For us, we work about half the time in Virginia, live near the river and lots of outdoor public spaces and activities, enjoy lower taxes, and live near family. If our kids are accepted, we'll also have access to Fairfax County GT programs, and we're within boundaries for Thomas Jefferson. For us, it's the best balance. We lived in DC for years, though, and have a good group of friends there as well. As a result, we feel pretty connected and familiar with several DC neighborhoods. This may have made it easier for us to get to know other families at our kids' school (easy suggestions of where to meet up, friends in common, etc.).

But you're still the outsider in both neighborhoods. At home and at your kids school.

PP in Fairfax here. Actually, we (and our kids) have great groups of friends in both DC and Virginia. And about 90% of the kids in our neighborhood are in private school (I'd guess about 75% in early elementary, more as grades go up, and the only TJ students at public by high school). We drive more than is optimal, but to us that's a small price to pay for the benefits. And regarding Thomas Jefferson, yes, I meant that we are in the area in which we are permitted to apply. My husband is very math and computer science-oriented, and as far as we can tell at their young ages the kids are following this path. So for us it's a good thing to have TJ as a possible option if they are accepted and it's a good fit.

[Anonymous]

"...within boundaries for Thomas Jefferson"
Do you mean the magnet high school for which to attend one must apply and be accepted?
Being "within boundaries" doesn't mean anything.

You may have a far easier time getting into Sidwell or Holton than you neighborhood school in TJ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

"...within boundaries for Thomas Jefferson"
Do you mean the magnet high school for which to attend one must apply and be accepted?
Being "within boundaries" doesn't mean anything.

You may have a far easier time getting into Sidwell or Holton than you neighborhood school in TJ.

PP in Fairfax here. TJ is certainly far from a sure thing, of course, but it's nice to know it's a possibility if it turns out to be a good fit. We've been very lucky so far with school admissions at the early years, but who ever knows. By math-oriented, I mean my husband was teaching graduate school level math and economics classes while he was an undergraduate at a well-regarded ivy. To the extent it's heritable, our kids may have a decent chance at being math-oriented as well. And I'd love for them to be at a terrific, challenging school that really is an ethnic melting pot and academic meritocracy (to the extent that's possible). Realizing it's a long shot, but a mom can dream!