Living in Fairfax County and sending kids to private school.

[Anonymous]

People in our neighborhood actually stopped being my friend because I was sending my dd to private. She has lost most of her neighborhood friends and feels bad about it. The thought is that I am too stuck up but in reality, my dd has issues and needed a smaller classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People in our neighborhood actually stopped being my friend because I was sending my dd to private. She has lost most of her neighborhood friends and feels bad about it. The thought is that I am too stuck up but in reality, my dd has issues and needed a smaller classroom.

I wonder what type of values are these parents teaching their kids - "we can only be friends with people who think, do, and/or act like us"

[Anonymous]

I am a little surprised about the kids in the neighborhood "stopped being friends"--I don't know about that. What age are we talking? If it's 4-6-7 year olds..that is not the kids not being friends..it's the parents. We live in Mclean and there is nice variety-public, catholic and private--we are friends with everyone. I have to tell you..no one is worried about where I am sending my child to school..everyone is doing what is best for their own families. If people stopped being friends with me over private..I would think it was because I WAS becoming a snob and braggy and thinking I was the money queen(I am not so this is not a concern) Anyway..we choose private for the small classes and also wanted a religious element but FFC schools are great and maybe we will be back at some point. We decide on a year by year basis. In the end..it seems that too many private school families are obsessed with their schools so maybe a little push back is good.

[Anonymous]

Could it be that there is a view that many of the people that live in Fairfax that have their kids in private are the kinds that "try too hard". You know it the stickers all on the oversized SUV etc. They aren't subtle about it and thus people shy away from them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People in our neighborhood actually stopped being my friend because I was sending my dd to private. She has lost most of her neighborhood friends and feels bad about it. The thought is that I am too stuck up but in reality, my dd has issues and needed a smaller classroom.

Isn't this more likely because they are on different schedules, don't ride the bus together, etc? That is certainly the case in my MoCo neighborhood. I don't think anyone cares where the kids go to school, and it is about 50/50 private and public, but there is more affinity at the kid level for the kids they actually go to school with (whether private or public).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an aside and a serious question, why live in Fairfax if you're going to try and send your kids to Holton or Sidwell? Why have such a drive? Just a question not a comment on your decision.

We found the house that we liked best in Fairfax County, and the school that we liked best in Bethesda. Simple as that.

We used to live closer to the school before DC enrolled there, and the commute would have actually taken longer driving through city traffic. (I clocked it).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People in our neighborhood actually stopped being my friend because I was sending my dd to private. She has lost most of her neighborhood friends and feels bad about it. The thought is that I am too stuck up but in reality, my dd has issues and needed a smaller classroom.

Isn't this more likely because they are on different schedules, don't ride the bus together, etc? That is certainly the case in my MoCo neighborhood. I don't think anyone cares where the kids go to school, and it is about 50/50 private and public, but there is more affinity at the kid level for the kids they actually go to school with (whether private or public).

This is the case, unless your family is stuck up.

[Anonymous]

Many neighborhoods in Bethesda and Potomac experience this phenomenon. When a large percentage of the kids reach school age or middle school age or high school age they are off to private schools. In our neighborhood it is at least 50%.

This fractures friendships for the kids and for the families. The kids don't go to school together and because the at least some of the privates have their own weekend sports teams, they don't play together either. As a result, people who met one another thorough their kids activities aren't in frequent contact with one another.

I call it the "Balkanization" of the neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

I live in Vienna, and our neighborhood has dozens of other kids my DC's age (early elementary). Most go to the excellent public school. A few go to parochial schools. A handful, like us, go to private. The kids who go to the public are all friends, while my DC is a little outside of their circle. It's not because they are excluding her. Rather, it is because the kids all socialize with each other in school, so they carry that existing relationship back to the neighborhood. DC is cool with that, and mainly socializes with her own school friends. As parents, we have never gotten any push back whatsoever from the other parents in the neighborhood. Then again, our neighborhood is remarkably free of fragile egos.

[Anonymous]

People comment on our private school choice all the time. There are many many reasons why we went private. I use the less offensive reasons when asked for our reasoning behind choosing a private school politely. When someone is confrontational or nasty, I am less diplomatic. But I get questions all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in a highly desirable school district but after going to the open house determined that the public school would probably not be the best fit for our child. We decided to send him to a small Catholic school. When I told some friends in the nieghborhood some people were really surprised and gave us push back. There were mulitple reasons to send our child to the school we chose but we didn't really share all of those reasons as it would have made it sound like we thought their choice was wrong.

I don't think that people are wrong to send their children to the public school in our nieghborhood, it just wasn't the right fit for our child and our family. I was surprised by how nasty some people were and how great some people were. People who really knew about the Catholic school we are at have said what a great school it is. Everyone else I just take as jealous, petty people who should just mind their own business.

When we moved to our neighborhood one of the plusses at the time was the public school. As our child got older, and we really started to look at schools, the public school was not as desirable for our family as was this Catholic school.

And I do not regret one second sending my child to Catholic school. My child loves it and so do we.

Are you, by chance, in the WTW pyramid and send your child to the Catholic school in Ffx City?

Just wondering as we are in the same boat...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People comment on our private school choice all the time. There are many many reasons why we went private. I use the less offensive reasons when asked for our reasoning behind choosing a private school politely. When someone is confrontational or nasty, I am less diplomatic. But I get questions all the time.

Do tell. What are the "offensive" reasons?

[Anonymous]

We live in Fairfax County and the vast majority of the kids in our neighborhood go to private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in a highly desirable school district but after going to the open house determined that the public school would probably not be the best fit for our child. We decided to send him to a small Catholic school. When I told some friends in the nieghborhood some people were really surprised and gave us push back. There were mulitple reasons to send our child to the school we chose but we didn't really share all of those reasons as it would have made it sound like we thought their choice was wrong.

I don't think that people are wrong to send their children to the public school in our nieghborhood, it just wasn't the right fit for our child and our family. I was surprised by how nasty some people were and how great some people were. People who really knew about the Catholic school we are at have said what a great school it is. Everyone else I just take as jealous, petty people who should just mind their own business.

When we moved to our neighborhood one of the plusses at the time was the public school. As our child got older, and we really started to look at schools, the public school was not as desirable for our family as was this Catholic school.

And I do not regret one second sending my child to Catholic school. My child loves it and so do we.

Are you, by chance, in the WTW pyramid and send your child to the Catholic school in Ffx City?

Just wondering as we are in the same boat...

No we are not. So it looks like we have similar problems in different parts of the County. Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in Fairfax County and the vast majority of the kids in our neighborhood go to private school.

If that's true, my guess is that the average home value in your neighborhood is more than $2M.