The toddler who just won't sit still, runs away & is generally hyper

[Anonymous]

I think it's a personality and developmental thing - more common among boys, but certainly not unknown among girls. My daughter was crazy from maybe 1.5 to 3 - running around, wriggly, uncontrollable, couldn't sit still for 5 seconds even if I was holding her on my lap. Every time my mother would see her she'd talk about ADHD. She is still very active and energetic, but some time in maybe the late 3s she developed the ability to calm herself down and focus and now she can definitely settle down when she needs to.

I have another daughter who was calm and serene pretty much from birth, so I really think it is just their inborn differences.

[Anonymous]

In their fantasy play, boys turn sticks into guns, balloons into bombs, and pencils into swords. They kill, die and get reborn in a matter of seconds, then hop right up to play some more. And yet many parents worry, wondering if their sons are simply normal, active boys, or turning into potentially violent men.
"Mothers are always saying to me, 'Why is my son racing around, not talking, and not listening? Why is he obsessed with playing war and shooting? What's happened to my sweet, vulnerable little boy who used to cuddle with me?'" says Michael Thompson, Ph.D. host of the documentary RAISING CAIN and co-author of the book of the same name. "This is a valid question, because no one wants their son to grow up to be violent. But interpreting play as an early indicator of violence is a misunderstanding both of the nature of boy activity and the real journey to violence that some boys undergo."
"Anyone who spends a lot of time with boys soon sees that most boys are indeed more active than most girls. A recent Harvard University study states that, "By school age, the average boy in a classroom is more active than the girls — even the most active girls don't seem to express their energy in the unrestrained way characteristic of most boys." While these findings support a stereotype some in our society have worked to eradicate, ask a kindergarten teacher and you'll likely hear that this description is true. "I've been teaching young boys for over 25 years and I don't see that their activity levels have changed, but our expectations for how long they have to sit still have dramatically increased," says teacher Jane Katch, author of Under Deadman's Skin: Discovering the Meaning of Children's Violent Play. "And that's a problem for a lot of boys. Some boys in my class need to move a lot. I call them 'high energy boys.' These boys simply can't sit still as long as most of the girls. They don't have the fine motor skills girls do, so many will make big constructions like block towers, while girls will work on smaller, more delicate pictures."
Experts say that you should try not to compare your boy to other boys and keep in mind that there are many different kinds of boys. They range from the highly physical and highly competitive at one end, to the very peaceful quiet boy, who prefers to read. "Not all boys want to compete in sports, wrestle, and shoot guns. It's important to remember that there are quiet boys and studious and bookish boys as well, and this is perfectly normal," adds Thompson.

[Anonymous]

Sorry I clicked too fast. The above article is from PBS "Raising Boys"

[Anonymous]

Born Active?
"Why are some young boys more aggressive than girls? We don't know for sure. We think that boys are predisposed to higher activity levels as a result of androgens (male hormones) inutero. However, it is not, as many people believe, a result of testosterone in the blood, because before puberty, boys and girls have the same level. What we know is that boys in all cultures around the world wrestle more, mock fight more, and are drawn to themes of power and domination, but that's not the same as hurting someone, so it's not necessarily a cause for worry."
Michael Thompson, Ph.D.
Co-Author, Raising Cain; Host, PBS documentary, RAISING CAIN

[Anonymous]

Here are few helpful tips from a fellow ponytail-tennis-shoes-running-shorts-sweating-and-exhausted-but-lost-that-babyweight-from-chasing-my-DS-mom:

1) set boundaries. There are some places that are off limits for running wild, like parking lots. Limit your exposure to these places when possible.

2) Let him run run run! When we are going somewhere that will require some "restraint" on DS's activity, we take him to the park beforehand. And we let him run wild. He is still the most active kid at playdates, etc but he is not bouncing off the walls.

3)food. avoid processed sugars and all those other hyperactivity triggers. Including red dye. DS is OUT OF CONTROL if he has red dye.

I vividly remember thinking I was the only mom who had a child this active...but you are not alone! We are just at the park playing chase/tag!

One time, someone on here posted that their child had 2 speeds...sleep and Chuck Norriss. All I could think was AMEN.

[Anonymous]

I'm the most with the active 22 month old DD who posted and I agree that a plus for me was that my weight fell off as soon as she started walking.

-At the grocery store, I rotate between having her push the cart (some stores even have the baby carts for kids), sitting in the cart, standing in the cart and bagging groceries. She also has to "arrange" the food in the cart. I have to have a game plan and keep it moving so that we're outta there quickly!

-She will get on the slides at the playground 40 times in a row. Unless the playground is packed with kids, I follow her and get on too.

-She has to load and unload the washing machine. As I'm sorting through a pile of clothes to wash, she grabs one or two garments and loads and returns for more.

-When I'm cooking, I give her chopped items to add to the pot herself. (She's more likely to be patient as it cooks that way.)

-I give her things to throw in the trash all day. (Sometimes she's too good at this and throws away things I need, so be careful.)

-She will sit in my lap to read now, but she has to turn the pages, so we can only get through stories with a couple sentences on each page. I also am extremely animated.

[Anonymous]

OP, my son used to be like this. He would never sit still, not even when I was holding him on my lap. He started walking at 9 months and running at 10 months, so I was always running after him. Luckily it was very easy to lose the baby weight.

Now he is three and he can spend hours in his room playing with Lego and racing his cars. He will also sit still for story time. He does have his moments when he's really active, but he is much better able to channel his energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
3)food. avoid processed sugars and all those other hyperactivity triggers. Including red dye. DS is OUT OF CONTROL if he has red dye.

I have to agree with this. Not so much the sugar, but definitely some of the dyes.

[Anonymous]

Ignore the posters who say there is something wrong with your DS. I have two very active children. My youngest is a girl and she is just as active as my son! Stop using gender stereotyping, people. Solution: spend as much time playing outside and walking as possible. We spent 6 hours at the park yesterday. I gave up on classes for DD. She is 2.

[Anonymous]

Just want to say this is not just a boy thing - I have a 2.5yo daughter that is like this . It's really hard not to compare to other kids - I feel like she's been difficult since birth ! I get really jealous sometimes of other moms toting their babies around on errands when I could never gave done such things.... I hate to say this but it's made me put off having #2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I hate to say this but it's made me put off having #2.

This has been the case for us too. I thought there was something wrong with DS because I'd see other moms with their toddlers following them around Kohls or Target or sitting quietly in their strollers! I'm learning that kids are just different and mine just happens to be more active. I couldn't imagine running after two though, so we've had to hold off for now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:STOP stereotyping! It is not a "BOY" thing. Some children are more active/restless than others, specially at this age. It is totally normal OP.

No need to get offended, and no need to yell.

Yes, there are active girls and laid-back boys, but it is definitely true that boys get diagnosed with ADHD more often. Yes, it's a generalization and a stereotype, but often stereotypes come from somewhere.

Nobody is making a judgement if it's bad or good. Just stating that there are quite a few active boys. If your girl is active, then feel free to chime in. Nobody's saying girls CAN'T be active. I don't think there is anything to get offended by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here are few helpful tips from a fellow ponytail-tennis-shoes-running-shorts-sweating-and-exhausted-but-lost-that-babyweight-from-chasing-my-DS-mom:

1) set boundaries. There are some places that are off limits for running wild, like parking lots. Limit your exposure to these places when possible.

2) Let him run run run! When we are going somewhere that will require some "restraint" on DS's activity, we take him to the park beforehand. And we let him run wild. He is still the most active kid at playdates, etc but he is not bouncing off the walls.

3)food. avoid processed sugars and all those other hyperactivity triggers. Including red dye. DS is OUT OF CONTROL if he has red dye. I vividly remember thinking I was the only mom who had a child this active...but you are not alone! We are just at the park playing chase/tag!

One time, someone on here posted that their child had 2 speeds...sleep and Chuck Norriss. All I could think was AMEN.

What foods have red dye?

[Anonymous]

By constantly trying to restrain him, you're making it worse. He is a TODDLER. Let him explore! Go to the park and let him run around and have fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm tempted to say it's a boy thing. My son was exactly like that and at 3.5 is much better at focusing now.

You know he's 18 mos, right? Totally typical. And if he's not a snuggle monster then he could care less about sitting on your lap. Instead of a nanny a few days a week, maybe AM daycare? They normally have "circle time" when they sit and read books and do similar activities. If he sees other children modeling this behavior, maybe he will be inclined to go along?

Also - my pediatrician called my son "kinetic" if that gives you any clue of the level of activity my son is engaged in. I know it's a cause of concern for you, embarrassed at playdates because I was the same way, but I just let folks know ahead of time that my son is very active, etc.

As far as the climbing, it's not the safest thing and you can start time outs if you want - he won't sit there, you will have to hold him there, and be consistent! Consistency is key. If you're out and about and he misbehaves, immediate time out! I don't know that he will understand what you're telling him but immediately removing him from whatever he is doing will send a message.

Time out because he wants to explore?! That is HORRIBLE advice! Why would you do that to your poor toddler when he just wants to roam around and climb on things like playground equipment?
My 1 year old DD loves to go down the slide. Sitting down, laying on her back (feet first), laying on her stomach. I'm not going to punish her for that because she's "too young"! I'm going to help her to make sure she is safe while she does it (though I am trying to change the 'face first' method).

She climbs on all sorts of equipment meant for "older" kids. That's how they learn. I would never dream of punishing her for it. I spot her, make sure she is safe, and PRAISE her when she does it well.