Sex with the lights on or off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think women know just how little most men care about the way they look. I like the lights on or daytime play. I just don't care. Most the time I am looking at her face anyway (she makes cool faces). My wife has had two kids. She is still incredibly hot to me. Enthusiasm and confidence trumps every other trait when it comes to sex. If you forget about what you think is imperfect, but focus on the sex, you'd find that the sex would be awesome. Focus on yourself and your own insecurities, you will destroy your sexual relationship with your DH.

I disagree with this. Humans are competitive. We want to be smart, we want to be rich, and we want to look good. If nobody cared about this stuff. we would all watch TV and eat junk food all day and be happy. In general, your sex life improves if you both look good.

The entire gym industry exists because of people's insecurities. People are in there working out so that they can look better and feel better about themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Compromise: Get a dimmer switch.

Agreed. Or lights off and let moonshine in!

Trust me, OP. When his Johnson is in your cake hole, you're a porn star to him (assuming you realize that to be good thing. Maybe he sees you as Katie Couric...hot in its own way... To each their own...) Relax. Go forth. Fornicate.

I am man. So sayeth man.

LHP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The OP's insecurities are not immature. I agree with you, OP! The vast majority of people have body insecurities.

Yes, but do most people need to have sex with the lights off because of these insecurities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right now, grab your man and do it with all the lights on. He loves you the way you are. If you don't stop this nonsense, it will wreck your sex life.

+1

I guarantee you, he doesn't care as long as you are excited about having sex with him. I used to be so self conscious that I didn't date. My bf (now dh) changed that with his attitude. Give your DH a chance, and you will see, he doesn't care! So have a great time.

How about you light some candles and be romantic?

[Anonymous]

Change the light bulb for a blue one. It works.

[Anonymous]

candles. Lingerie - that covers what you don't like.

[Anonymous]

Give your husband a chance. Mine thinks seeing my incredibly unsexy body is sexy (at least during sex when I show him) because I trust him. I felt much better when I realized he's not repulsed.

[Anonymous]

Mom of two. Lights on.
DH loves my reactions and does not care about the sag, stretch marks and the belly etc... our best sex has happened after kids despite the unattractive bodies - because seriously, the bodies are not registering, only the response and the ardor is.

[Anonymous]

My wife hates her belly due to stretch marks and bigger than she'd like. That area doesn't detract from my attraction to her. So, related question: do I go nuts on that part of her body too and thereby reassure her that I am absolutely fine with it; or do I steer clear because she feels awkward about it and doesn't want me bringing attention to what she regards as a problem area?

[Anonymous]

Oh sweetheart. You just need to get over this. For most guys, some flab could not matter less. I've got some for sure, some extra pounds, unwanted hair, too small boobs, too wide hips... And we always do it in full light. As a matter of fact, we're both too tired in the evening anyway. And during the week. So all our action happens over the weekend, in full daylight. I love my weekends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP. My body is far from perfect and I walk around totally naked in front of my husband. He is also far from perfect and we often joke with each other about the excess baggage.

I think that your hang-up will definately put a chilling effect on your love life.

+1. Although sometimes I get dressed in the closet really quickly if I don't have time for him to jump me! Seriously! He's like a teenager, but I'm flattered in my post-2-baby-body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh sweetheart. You just need to get over this. For most guys, some flab could not matter less. I've got some for sure, some extra pounds, unwanted hair, too small boobs, too wide hips... And we always do it in full light. As a matter of fact, we're both too tired in the evening anyway. And during the week. So all our action happens over the weekend, in full daylight. I love my weekends

+1 you must be my twin!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife hates her belly due to stretch marks and bigger than she'd like. That area doesn't detract from my attraction to her. So, related question: do I go nuts on that part of her body too and thereby reassure her that I am absolutely fine with it; or do I steer clear because she feels awkward about it and doesn't want me bringing attention to what she regards as a problem area?

I would treat that body part like any other. Don't over do it and do not ignore it. I hate my flabby parts but DH acts like they aren't flabby. We have great sex after 10 yrs of marriage and 2 kids.

[Anonymous]

I have to have a bra on when I have sex because my boobs look like this: