Anyone's child do Kindergarten twice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So often people mention size and being shy as reasons to redshirt. I guess I find these reasons offensive. People have to deal with all sorts of differences, we used to say it builds character and now we try to mask it. In the end size will not change.

Fine Motor is a perfectly good reason to hold back, size and shyness make me think that we are trying to mold everyone into the same All American Student.

Thing is, you don't really know why. My DS is small for his age and lacks fine motor skills and turned 5 this week and will start K in 2012. But to random people who ask, I just say we're giving him another year to grow. I don't mean to offend you but I don't feel the need to go into his fine motor skill with you or others. I tried that a few times: then the moms want to know how I knew or what where the signs of this mysterious "poor motor skills" syndrome as if it were contagious or something that could not be grown out of. Some continue to ask if DS has been tested, if others in our family suffered the same malady, etc., etc. So, I just stick with the "an extra year to grow."

[Anonymous]

FWIW, I was pushed a year ahead in school so I was by far the smallest and the youngest in my class. I went to an Ivy for both college and grad school and turned out okay. . I'm not saying this to try to sound better than anyone else on this thread. Far from it. I'm just pointing out that being the youngest and the smallest in the class isn't necessarily a bad thing. Being a year ahead is clearly extreme, but the youngest and smallest in the appropriate grade is not and I find it a little sad that so many parents stress so much about it. That said, if you honestly feel that your DC is not quite ready for K for another reason (emotional immaturity, for instance, or another readiness issue) that's something I would definitely talk to the teacher about. I wouldn't let social pressure of any kind impact my DC's education. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

"Being a year ahead is clearly extreme, but the youngest and smallest in the appropriate grade is not necessarily a bad thing."

Sorry about that.

[Anonymous]

My September birthday DS is repeating K this year, but at a different school (his preschool offered K). The cutoff at his new private school is Sept 1st, so we couldn't have sent him there last year, even if we had wanted to do so (we didn't). In our case, our son is very bright, small for his age, friendly but cautious in nature (especially with transitions), just fair fine motor, not yet reading well. He is a happy child but his cautious nature can affect his confidence in trying new things.

While my son is quite capable, he needs to tackle things more on his own timeline and I feel that giving him some more time this year with reading, etc will strengthen his confidence. I don't really see much of a downside for HIM. My sister in law has an August daughter and is sending her onto K just turning 5. I think it boils down to the needs of each child. I just don't understand the absolute "no redshirting" arguments. Also, so much of what used to be first grade curriculum when I was in a public VA elementary is now being taught in K anyway!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So often people mention size and being shy as reasons to redshirt. I guess I find these reasons offensive. People have to deal with all sorts of differences, we used to say it builds character and now we try to mask it. In the end size will not change.

Fine Motor is a perfectly good reason to hold back, size and shyness make me think that we are trying to mold everyone into the same All American Student.

Thing is, you don't really know why. My DS is small for his age and lacks fine motor skills and turned 5 this week and will start K in 2012. But to random people who ask, I just say we're giving him another year to grow. I don't mean to offend you but I don't feel the need to go into his fine motor skill with you or others. I tried that a few times: then the moms want to know how I knew or what where the signs of this mysterious "poor motor skills" syndrome as if it were contagious or something that could not be grown out of. Some continue to ask if DS has been tested, if others in our family suffered the same malady, etc., etc. So, I just stick with the "an extra year to grow."

No problem with fine motor and you do not have to justify it to me. My point is a lot of people mention size and shyness as a reason. Perhaps they are not telling the truth or do not want to discuss it but differences is not a defect. People have different personalities, some are cautious, some are shy, some small, tall, heavy, smart, outgoing. Some traits are more desired for some people and schools but that does not mean the other traits are defects that need to be corrected.

[Anonymous]

This discussion always comes up. DS has a late June b-day and started K on time. We were able to identify issues in first grade and get him the help he needed. Holding him back would have delayed all of this. He's by no means the youngest in his class - a number of August kids. He has a friend with an early September b-day who started on time and is at the top of her class. This notion that time = maturity/ability is so wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So often people mention size and being shy as reasons to redshirt. I guess I find these reasons offensive. People have to deal with all sorts of differences, we used to say it builds character and now we try to mask it. In the end size will not change.

Fine Motor is a perfectly good reason to hold back, size and shyness make me think that we are trying to mold everyone into the same All American Student.

Thing is, you don't really know why. My DS is small for his age and lacks fine motor skills and turned 5 this week and will start K in 2012. But to random people who ask, I just say we're giving him another year to grow. I don't mean to offend you but I don't feel the need to go into his fine motor skill with you or others. I tried that a few times: then the moms want to know how I knew or what where the signs of this mysterious "poor motor skills" syndrome as if it were contagious or something that could not be grown out of. Some continue to ask if DS has been tested, if others in our family suffered the same malady, etc., etc. So, I just stick with the "an extra year to grow."

No problem with fine motor and you do not have to justify it to me. My point is a lot of people mention size and shyness as a reason. Perhaps they are not telling the truth or do not want to discuss it but differences is not a defect. People have different personalities, some are cautious, some are shy, some small, tall, heavy, smart, outgoing. Some traits are more desired for some people and schools but that does not mean the other traits are defects that need to be corrected.

But you are looking for others to justify their choices to you. You do so when you (and lots of others looking for a firm cut off date) pass judgment on what is a sufficient reason and what is an insufficient reason for parents of a child not yours to hold that child back. Did it ever occur to you that the parents mention size and shyness as a reason to hold back because it's more polite that saying "it's none of our business"?

[Anonymous]

1 child held back per classroom - ok, none of your business why. The real concern though is when enough of a class is made up of held backers that it starts changing the dynamics among the students/teachers/curriculum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My September birthday DS is repeating K this year, but at a different school (his preschool offered K). The cutoff at his new private school is Sept 1st, so we couldn't have sent him there last year, even if we had wanted to do so (we didn't). In our case, our son is very bright, small for his age, friendly but cautious in nature (especially with transitions), just fair fine motor, not yet reading well. He is a happy child but his cautious nature can affect his confidence in trying new things.

While my son is quite capable, he needs to tackle things more on his own timeline and I feel that giving him some more time this year with reading, etc will strengthen his confidence. I don't really see much of a downside for HIM. My sister in law has an August daughter and is sending her onto K just turning 5. I think it boils down to the needs of each child. I just don't understand the absolute "no redshirting" arguments. Also, so much of what used to be first grade curriculum when I was in a public VA elementary is now being taught in K anyway!

like what?

[Anonymous]

It's always something. Some kids stutter or don't speak English or haven't had a healthy breakfast (ever) or a good night's sleep or a dad or a house. Some kids read really well at age 3 or 4 some not until 8 or 9. Some kids have poor motor skills some are anti-social some are bratty some are bossy some are yet to be diagnosed with a whole host of learning disabilities. . . A 15 month age span is inconsequential. And most everyone agrees that the parents who hold back kids for purely competitive advantages are at best neurotic and really we should feel sorry for their children, not shun them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The poster who said K is no different than it used to be is wrong. Today's K is like the 1st grade we grew up with. Not every child is ready for that-socially, academically and/or emotionally. I know many, many people who either gave their child an extra year of preschool or who had the child repeat K and not one person told me they regretted it. Our developmental pediatrician said the same thing. He has yet to meet a family who regretted giving their child extra time to mature. Our kids will be lifetime learnersw. Even once they enter the workforce they will be asked to attend seminars and other learning things. I want my child to love learning and feel positive about school. Do I think it's right for every child? No. However, there are some kids who need this and I would trust the advice of a teacher who knows your child over a random person on DCUM who thinks redshirting must stop. Good luck with your decision OP!

I am sorry I just don't agree, three kids and K is K-now my kids attended a Montessori since they were 2.5 and were used to the long days-could read and write in K, so maybe that helped them out. But it isn't hard-I am curious about what specifically parents are referring to when they say that. What content is now covered that wasn't when I was in K, back in the 80s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I do trust the opinion of his teacher and my gut tells me to do another year of K, it's been difficult to make the decision due to other familial influences that urge me to have him continue on to 1st. He also has a cousin the same age, Aug. birthday, that will be moving on and I worry that my son will feel awkward later on down the road with his cousin in a grade above. They don't live here though, so at least they won't be in the same school.

I know there are much more important things in the world to worry about, but this decision has just been weighing heavy on me. Thanks again!

OP, I would not worry about the cousin being the same age and a grade ahead. For the record, my DS is doing K again. He is VERY immature and relates much better to kids at least 6 months to a year younger than him. He also has a first cousin who started K this year as well. Academically he is more advanced than she is (but he is definitely not at the level of K kids who went to 1st yesterday). Socially, I think they are about equal. No one in the family is making a big deal out of it. They are in different schools and will make different friends etc....

[Anonymous]

9:09

I have never asked a parent why they held their kid back or to justify it. However, I have asked admissions people why kids were held back and have read the post on here. Kids are often held back for non academic reasons, which was a huge surprise to me. I understood academics, I understood kids who still needed a nap and I understood disruptive kids or kids who can not focus properly. What I did not understand was when the admissions people mentioned that the kids was quiet, shy, not a leader, social and yes they even have said that that parents requested it yet they did not think the kid needed. Thank goodness they never mentioned size because I would have asked them to reference the study that shows a correlation between size and k readiness or on how redshirting increases a kids size. Of course we are speaking generically and not about a named kid.

Is there any value in teaching kids to overcome obstacles, I know it is tough with a 5 year old. I'm speaking generically and not about your child. If a parent thought their child was really shy and it was hindering their development then they used to get their child leadership opportunities such as drama class, they did not hold a child back. As a former shy kid with a late summer birthday who has done fine in life, I get offended by this.

Also, out of all of the privates that I visited, I only saw one overweight person. I hope that there are not many overweight kids because private school kids are more active. I hope it is not because they exclude overweight people. I hope that these schools are teaching compassion and values and no I have never been overweight.

I'm hoping my family and I enjoy private school but when I talk to admissions people and I read these postings, I just get concerned that we do not have the same values.

[Anonymous]

No wonder this nation is failing our kids academically - we are a nation of wussies who codel our kids to their detriment. My little one is 24lbs, is speech delayed and has both fine and gross motor issues. He is also shy. He is enrolled in school with his age group because there isn't a damn thing wrong with his brain. He will learn just like every other kid in his age group.

[Anonymous]

14:38 is he in private or public?