Anyone's child do Kindergarten twice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

there are plenty of us that didn't hold back delay whatever...my kids are the youngest-one is very small too-boys- and successful. Bigger doesn't equal smarter. If there is a legit reason to hold back then do so but don't assume "everyone" is doing it. K is no harder than it was, first grade is not hard either. It is so ridiculous that there are two year gaps between some of the kids...soon they will be 21 and finishing high school.

OP said her son was youngest and immature. That's reason sufficient to repeat. PP, please get off the anti "redshirting" soapbox. Someone's kid has to be the smallest and youngest -- many rational people prefer that it be your kid and not ours.

rational? It is rational to put kids in a class based soley on a b-day? Sorry to inform you but the US isn't exactly leading the world in academics. This redshirting crap has been going on for awhile and the kids are not any better for it. The delay is for the kids to be "mature" enough to take the state tests, not bc the academic standards have become so strenuous. If your kid is smart, she/he is smart, period. Why are kids today so immature compared to say ten years ago or even when we were in elementary? If the OP has an immature child and the teacher said hold him back, hold him back, several times if you want-your child, your decision. I can stand on my soapbox as long as I want, especially until people stop telling others that "everybody" is doing it-they aren't. If you feel your child is ready to proceed then let them, if not then hold them back. That extra year doesn't make them any more intelligent-they are essentially "on hold" for a year. It could help them sit still I guess..In our case, both kids were reading/writing entering K so no way were we holding them back. Are they the most mature? Probably not-but they aren't the least mature but def. ..at the top of their classes in terms of academics. Project all your fears onto your kid if you want PP, we won't.

[Anonymous]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I do trust the opinion of his teacher and my gut tells me to do another year of K, it's been difficult to make the decision due to other familial influences that urge me to have him continue on to 1st. He also has a cousin the same age, Aug. birthday, that will be moving on and I worry that my son will feel awkward later on down the road with his cousin in a grade above. They don't live here though, so at least they won't be in the same school.

I know there are much more important things in the world to worry about, but this decision has just been weighing heavy on me. Thanks again!

[Anonymous]

Likely too late for this suggestion, but heck, you could even do it the first week of both schools this fall - observe the kids in the class he will join by doing K again? You know how he fits with the children he's been with this year - nice to check for yourself what the new group acts like. Either it will seem he could fit in there ok or it will feel like he is ahead. The school you're at does have an "interest" in keeping him around. And public schools are much less into the "delayed entry" that so many in the private schools seem to believe is necessary in this area. Check the actual birthday distribution of the 1st grade classes at the public school you were considering. Posturing on DCUM about this issue is of little actual value compared to knowing the actual birthdates of an actual class you are considering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Likely too late for this suggestion, but heck, you could even do it the first week of both schools this fall - observe the kids in the class he will join by doing K again? You know how he fits with the children he's been with this year - nice to check for yourself what the new group acts like. Either it will seem he could fit in there ok or it will feel like he is ahead. The school you're at does have an "interest" in keeping him around. And public schools are much less into the "delayed entry" that so many in the private schools seem to believe is necessary in this area. Check the actual birthday distribution of the 1st grade classes at the public school you were considering. Posturing on DCUM about this issue is of little actual value compared to knowing the actual birthdates of an actual class you are considering.

we did this..we have a sept b-day and he spent time in both classrooms last year-May sometime-he HATED k-he said it was "baby" school-kept saying he already does that...and that...and that...he liked first grade better-they were reading a poem and he jumped right in..talked about hibernation...he jumped in-he just didn't want to go to K and academically there wasn't a reason to make him go again, socially I just don't see any problem either. He was in private K

[Anonymous]

OP, don't let family pressure dissuade you and honesty, I wouldn't even give the concern about the cousin another thought. If your child struggles in school, it will be a day to day struggle for your whole family and one that could make your son's school experience miserable. I lived this for six years with my oldest. We finally had to get my son services, paid solely by us. Made a huge difference in his ability to function, but cost us well over $10k and a year of four times a week of services. Even still, you can see the hit his confidence took despite the act that he functions well now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

there are plenty of us that didn't hold back delay whatever...my kids are the youngest-one is very small too-boys- and successful. Bigger doesn't equal smarter. If there is a legit reason to hold back then do so but don't assume "everyone" is doing it. K is no harder than it was, first grade is not hard either. It is so ridiculous that there are two year gaps between some of the kids...soon they will be 21 and finishing high school.

OP said her son was youngest and immature. That's reason sufficient to repeat. PP, please get off the anti "redshirting" soapbox. Someone's kid has to be the smallest and youngest -- many rational people prefer that it be your kid and not ours.

rational? It is rational to put kids in a class based soley on a b-day? Sorry to inform you but the US isn't exactly leading the world in academics. This redshirting crap has been going on for awhile and the kids are not any better for it. The delay is for the kids to be "mature" enough to take the state tests, not bc the academic standards have become so strenuous. If your kid is smart, she/he is smart, period. Why are kids today so immature compared to say ten years ago or even when we were in elementary? If the OP has an immature child and the teacher said hold him back, hold him back, several times if you want-your child, your decision. I can stand on my soapbox as long as I want, especially until people stop telling others that "everybody" is doing it-they aren't. If you feel your child is ready to proceed then let them, if not then hold them back. That extra year doesn't make them any more intelligent-they are essentially "on hold" for a year. It could help them sit still I guess..In our case, both kids were reading/writing entering K so no way were we holding them back. Are they the most mature? Probably not-but they aren't the least mature but def. ..at the top of their classes in terms of academics. Project all your fears onto your kid if you want PP, we won't.


Do what you think is best for your kid and I'll do the same for mine. Your soapboxing time is way over.

[Anonymous]

The poster who said K is no different than it used to be is wrong. Today's K is like the 1st grade we grew up with. Not every child is ready for that-socially, academically and/or emotionally. I know many, many people who either gave their child an extra year of preschool or who had the child repeat K and not one person told me they regretted it. Our developmental pediatrician said the same thing. He has yet to meet a family who regretted giving their child extra time to mature. Our kids will be lifetime learnersw. Even once they enter the workforce they will be asked to attend seminars and other learning things. I want my child to love learning and feel positive about school. Do I think it's right for every child? No. However, there are some kids who need this and I would trust the advice of a teacher who knows your child over a random person on DCUM who thinks redshirting must stop. Good luck with your decision OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The poster who said K is no different than it used to be is wrong. Today's K is like the 1st grade we grew up with. Not every child is ready for that-socially, academically and/or emotionally. I know many, many people who either gave their child an extra year of preschool or who had the child repeat K and not one person told me they regretted it. Our developmental pediatrician said the same thing. He has yet to meet a family who regretted giving their child extra time to mature. Our kids will be lifetime learnersw. Even once they enter the workforce they will be asked to attend seminars and other learning things. I want my child to love learning and feel positive about school. Do I think it's right for every child? No. However, there are some kids who need this and I would trust the advice of a teacher who knows your child over a random person on DCUM who thinks redshirting must stop. Good luck with your decision.

Beautifully stated, and I agree on all points. FWIW, I'm an educator and a mom. Years ago, we gave our son an extra year in kindergarten. At that time, the cut-off was Oct. 1. His birthday was towards the end of September. He was already reading and later determined gifted; but his teacher noted shyness and weak motor skills. We've never regretted that decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The poster who said K is no different than it used to be is wrong. Today's K is like the 1st grade we grew up with. Not every child is ready for that-socially, academically and/or emotionally. I know many, many people who either gave their child an extra year of preschool or who had the child repeat K and not one person told me they regretted it. Our developmental pediatrician said the same thing. He has yet to meet a family who regretted giving their child extra time to mature. Our kids will be lifetime learnersw. Even once they enter the workforce they will be asked to attend seminars and other learning things. I want my child to love learning and feel positive about school. Do I think it's right for every child? No. However, there are some kids who need this and I would trust the advice of a teacher who knows your child over a random person on DCUM who thinks redshirting must stop. Good luck with your decision OP!

This and especially this.

[Anonymous]

My child did an extra year of Kidnergarten and if I do somewhat regret the choice. The gains that I thought she would make didn't really happen. She doesn't like being the oldest and the work is too easy.

[Anonymous]

There are quite a few substantive studies on the effects of holding a child back. These studies don't all agree of course, but generally do seem to share the conclusion that any gains that appear the first few years after holding back, fade away. All honor to teachers generally, but elementary school / lower school teachers posting here don't know how things actually end up for the held back kids in high school, college, and beyond. In fact, they are the people most likely to be deceived by the apparent advances in the first years of school - that the more rigorous academic studies show fade away. No, this isn't an easy issue - hence all the threads and serious postings - as well as usual invective.

[Anonymous]

This is not "red-shirting." OP's son was born on Sept. 27, thus misses the cut-off by almost a full month (she said that the cutoff is Sept. 1 where she is, and that is the trend, certainly). Plus, the teacher, who clearly knows not only OP's son well but also a great number of children approximately the same age, is someone whose advice I would trust (unless I had a particular reason not to).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The poster who said K is no different than it used to be is wrong. Today's K is like the 1st grade we grew up with. Not every child is ready for that-socially, academically and/or emotionally. I know many, many people who either gave their child an extra year of preschool or who had the child repeat K and not one person told me they regretted it. Our developmental pediatrician said the same thing. He has yet to meet a family who regretted giving their child extra time to mature. Our kids will be lifetime learnersw. Even once they enter the workforce they will be asked to attend seminars and other learning things. I want my child to love learning and feel positive about school. Do I think it's right for every child? No. However, there are some kids who need this and I would trust the advice of a teacher who knows your child over a random person on DCUM who thinks redshirting must stop. Good luck with your decision.

Beautifully stated, and I agree on all points. FWIW, I'm an educator and a mom. Years ago, we gave our son an extra year in kindergarten. At that time, the cut-off was Oct. 1. His birthday was towards the end of September. He was already reading and later determined gifted; but his teacher noted shyness and weak motor skills. We've never regretted that decision.

Why is shyness a defect that can be overcome by being older? I do not think it is a defect, to hold back a child who is doing well academically so that they are not shy seems overkill to me. I would think that you can build self-confidence in other ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The poster who said K is no different than it used to be is wrong. Today's K is like the 1st grade we grew up with. Not every child is ready for that-socially, academically and/or emotionally. I know many, many people who either gave their child an extra year of preschool or who had the child repeat K and not one person told me they regretted it. Our developmental pediatrician said the same thing. He has yet to meet a family who regretted giving their child extra time to mature. Our kids will be lifetime learnersw. Even once they enter the workforce they will be asked to attend seminars and other learning things. I want my child to love learning and feel positive about school. Do I think it's right for every child? No. However, there are some kids who need this and I would trust the advice of a teacher who knows your child over a random person on DCUM who thinks redshirting must stop. Good luck with your decision.

Beautifully stated, and I agree on all points. FWIW, I'm an educator and a mom. Years ago, we gave our son an extra year in kindergarten. At that time, the cut-off was Oct. 1. His birthday was towards the end of September. He was already reading and later determined gifted; but his teacher noted shyness and weak motor skills. We've never regretted that decision.

Why is shyness a defect that can be overcome by being older? I do not think it is a defect, to hold back a child who is doing well academically so that they are not shy seems overkill to me. I would think that you can build self-confidence in other ways.

I didn't mean that to sound like a "defect"--just trying to share a little about his personality and how the extra year gave him the opportunity to mature since he would have been the youngest in the class otherwise. His motor skills (writing, cutting, hopping, skipping, etc) were the area of weakness.

[Anonymous]

So often people mention size and being shy as reasons to redshirt. I guess I find these reasons offensive. People have to deal with all sorts of differences, we used to say it builds character and now we try to mask it. In the end size will not change.

Fine Motor is a perfectly good reason to hold back, size and shyness make me think that we are trying to mold everyone into the same All American Student.