Do You ThiNk It Could Make Sense To Kill Yourself?

[Anonymous]

Thank most of you for giving me some things to think about. I will.

[Anonymous]

This is the saddest thread I've ever read on DCUM.

OP--there are SO many people who care about YOU! If only I could talk to you, listen to you and your pain. You have been walking a very painful, lonely road and I understand you are too tired to keep going. But we will carry you! You can do it. Please pick up the phone and call 911 and ask for help. I am thinking of you and will continue to think of you until you get help.

[Anonymous]

I knew someone who was addicted to exercising. I mean really, really addicted. She was competitive to the point where it was clear that she was driven by obsessive thoughts that she was worthless unless she always "won". Of course, no one can always win. She was single and without children. She was 48. She went into the woods and shot herself. She really did it. And even with no children it has left a gaping hole in my life and the lives of many who knew her. It was an utter waste. She could not see that her depression, though excruciating, was a temporary state. And she could not bear the discomfort. She had the means and the rage to commit the act. I believe she was deeply, deeply angry for along time at many people in her life. It is said that suicide is a case of mistaken identity: you are murderously angry at someone else, but feel powerless to act on it. It really is just extreme cowardice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I knew someone who was addicted to exercising. I mean really, really addicted. She was competitive to the point where it was clear that she was driven by obsessive thoughts that she was worthless unless she always "won". Of course, no one can always win. She was single and without children. She was 48. She went into the woods and shot herself. She really did it. And even with no children it has left a gaping hole in my life and the lives of many who knew her. It was an utter waste. She could not see that her depression, though excruciating, was a temporary state. And she could not bear the discomfort. She had the means and the rage to commit the act. I believe she was deeply, deeply angry for along time at many people in her life. It is said that suicide is a case of mistaken identity: you are murderously angry at someone else, but feel powerless to act on it. It really is just extreme cowardice.

You know what is cowardly...writing something terribly mean on on anonymous forum and especially a thread such as this one. There is something seriously wrong with you pp to feel that you needed to write the above.

OP is NOT a coward and has come on here to face that she has problems. She is upset and reaching out here, and I hope she reaches out to friends, family, or a counselor and I truly bleieve she ahs to strength to and will overcome this. Posts like yours are just disgraceful and I urge the OP not to read a post like yours which lacks all reasoning and compassion.

[Anonymous]

The problem with 911 is that you end up in a hospital on a locked unit with people who talk to themselves and hear voices and think God is telling them what to do. And doctors and nurses who don't know what to do with them. They certainly don't know what to do with someone who is outwardly competent but at the end of her rope.

I'm really sorry I started this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem with 911 is that you end up in a hospital on a locked unit with people who talk to themselves and hear voices and think God is telling them what to do. And doctors and nurses who don't know what to do with them. They certainly don't know what to do with someone who is outwardly competent but at the end of her rope.

I'm really sorry I started this thread.

Please dont be sorry. I am sure there is someone out there to talk to and even if not a friend call a hotline. I know it might seem weird or non-personal but sometimes talking just helps. Try to put some things into perspective because I guarantee OP this will get better. Its so hard sometimes I know, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

You will pull through this and I dont know you but I know you can. If anything call the hotline and just sit on the phone and see what they have to say if you dont want to talk.

But dont be sorry you started this thread. There are many posters that have felt your pain and feel pain on a daily basis and you are not alone out there. We care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never let my kids find me like that. I have a plan to do it elsewhere. I have made financial arrangements for them. I've done everything I can.

THEY WON'T THINK SO! (CAPS INTENTIONAL!)

I've been on just about every drug out there. No help.

Try holistic medicine. I swear by acupuncture! honestly! I LOVE it! It makes me feel better than a strong martini on a summer day sitting on the deck while the kids are at a playdate!!!

The therapists I saw were well-qualified and well-meaning.

So are lawyers - some of them . . . and doctors . . . and teachers . . . But no one's perfect. Only YOU can help yourself; they can only guide you.

Exercise is what got me injured.

What about swimming? Is it a joint thing? I can't swim - never learned how. But I swear the swimmers at my pool have killer bodies.

All the kings horses and all the kings men...

Humpty Dumpty wasn't real.

You're right. DCUM is not the place for this. I apologize.

You're probably one of 10 who's EVER apologized on this site!!! And it wasn't even necessary.

Signing off.

[Anonymous]

OP-i think you reached out to us for a reason--you knew that you were at the end of your rope but you also wanted to hang on. i believe you truly do want to hang on but you need help. while 911 is not ideal, i think it is what you need right now. if this wasn't anonymous, we would do it with you.

[Anonymous]

OP, my stepdad killed himself when I was a kid. I can tell you from personal experience that your family wants YOU in their lives - not just in their memories. The "you" you are now is temporary. Suicide is permanent and can never change. Your kids are so much better off WITH you in their lives.

When I think of depression, I think of it with a capital D, like it's the given name for a very specific villain. Depression is a convincing liar - it tries to convince you that you shouldn't go on or that your family is better off without you. Depression lies. And Depression cheats, by confusing your brain so it won't let you see how loved, valued and important you are. Depression steals - it is trying so hard to steal you from your children. Depression is not YOU - it is separate from you, but right now it feels like it's consuming you.

Every day you are here for your family is a wonderful gift you give them. Sticking around and continuing to FIGHT is the gift you continue giving them. Tell your husband that you are seriously contemplating suicide. Ask him to bring you to the hospital. Call the suicide hotline. Try again to get help. Remember that Depression lies, cheats and steals and is using those tools to try to convince you that you won't get better. Prove Depression wrong.

Trust me when I say that the best thing in the world for
your family is you, alive, in their lives. And the worst thing for them would be your suicide.

Please don't hurt yourself. Call for help, NOW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew someone who was addicted to exercising. I mean really, really addicted. She was competitive to the point where it was clear that she was driven by obsessive thoughts that she was worthless unless she always "won". Of course, no one can always win. She was single and without children. She was 48. She went into the woods and shot herself. She really did it. And even with no children it has left a gaping hole in my life and the lives of many who knew her. It was an utter waste. She could not see that her depression, though excruciating, was a temporary state. And she could not bear the discomfort. She had the means and the rage to commit the act. I believe she was deeply, deeply angry for along time at many people in her life. It is said that suicide is a case of mistaken identity: you are murderously angry at someone else, but feel powerless to act on it. It really is just extreme cowardice.

You know what is cowardly...writing something terribly mean on on anonymous forum and especially a thread such as this one. There is something seriously wrong with you pp to feel that you needed to write the above.

OP is NOT a coward and has come on here to face that she has problems. She is upset and reaching out here, and I hope she reaches out to friends, family, or a counselor and I truly bleieve she ahs to strength to and will overcome this. Posts like yours are just disgraceful and I urge the OP not to read a post like yours which lacks all reasoning and compassion.

Yowsa. If I killed myself, I'd never again be treated to amusingly idiotic posts such as this one. Who said anything about being addicted to exercise? Or having to win at it? I said I had been exercising in an attempt to feel better and injured myself. Are you stupid or high? If the latter, I want some of your stash.

[Anonymous]

A slightly different view point -- my mother was seriously clinically depressed for much of my childhood. I was conscious of this at the time, and it did impact how she cared for us, but I knew (and know) that my Mother loved me deeply, and look back on my childhood with fondness. I can't imagine how devastating (and immeasurably worse) it would have been for her to have committed suicide when I was a child. She died when I was 40 years old (not suicide), and it is still difficult to deal with. Please do not underestimate the impact that your suicide would have on your children, and how much they need you.

[Anonymous]

I really hope so, PP. I hope that someday my kids will understand that I did the best I could in the circumstances. I tried my best, even if my best wasn't very good. I hope that we can talk about it and that they will forgive me.

[Anonymous]

They will. And you want to be around to have that talk. Trust me. Signed the daughter of a very troubled father who was depressed and an alcoholic my whole life but I loved him dearly. Ps hug them and tell them you live them as much as you can it goes farther than you can imagine. But you gotta still be around to do that for them. You are loved and life can get better. What do you need? We can all help provide resources, ideas, friendship, etc. Do you sleep ok? Doubt it. I might start there with advil Pm and a visit to a friend for a few days? Get caught uP on sleep and get some recs from here on good psychiatrists. Love to you.

[Anonymous]

703-527-4077

Virginia Crisis Hotline

Open 24 hours.

Call them.

[Anonymous]

I meant to say please call them, OP.