What time does your 3 year old go to bed?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I am well aware that my child is not the only one in the classroom. There are at least 5 others who are in the same exact situation. With 3 teachers, and for what we pay for daycare, there should be a way that 5 almost 4 years old don't need to lay down every day during rest time. Not trying to pick a fight here, I just wanted to put it out there, that there are kids who don't need to nap, and when they do it really does make it difficult at night.

[Anonymous]

My DS, nearly 3, goes to bed at 8:30-9, up at 7, naps 2-3 hours. That's 12-13 hours/day.
Dropping a nap is highly variable, some stop at 3 (like my sister), some at 5 (like me)...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS, nearly 3, goes to bed at 8:30-9, up at 7, naps 2-3 hours. That's 12-13 hours/day.
Dropping a nap is highly variable, some stop at 3 (like my sister), some at 5 (like me)...

my son did exactly that until he was about 3 and 2 months and all of a sudden he wouldn't go to sleep until 11:30 pm when he napped. so we dropped the nap. if he gets an hour in the car he's ok but the 2-3 hour naps wreck havoc with bedtime.

[Anonymous]

after bath & reading, dd goes to bed between 9-9:30pm; most nights, it's closer to 9:30

[Anonymous]

I'm the OP - thanks for everyone's feedback, I appreciate the comments & insights (except, of course, for the few snarky exchanges, which are so typical of this forum sadly). I'll try cutting back on my son's naptime - and see if it helps - and I like one of the suggestions that he can stay in his room until he falls asleep, looking at books or whatever, as long as he's quiet. I guess this is a subject that many of us are struggling with, which is somewhat comforting! And I agree with the PPs who don't support the notion of cutting out the nap altogether so that the child passes out from exhaustion after a cranky evening -- that's not a healthy solution in my opinion, I'd rather have a child who is well rested and happy during the day even if bedtime is more challenging.

[Anonymous]

I put my 3 year old in bed at 9 sharp, every night. We do the whole calming bedtime ritual, then lights out, all tucked in, house is quiet, door is open but with a gate. She lies in bed and proceeds to holler and sing and generally carry on for the next two hours. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. Sometimes she gets out of bed and bangs around and plays and keeps her siblings up. We put her back in bed over and over and tell her to go to sleep, and then she'll just lie in bed and kick the wall and talk to her stuffed animals. She often falls asleep on the floor or in a chair. She doesn't try to get out of her room or call us for attention--she is just in there entertaining her busy little self.

Not quite sure what to do about this, but she seems none the worse for wear, so we are just riding it out!

And yes, my kid goes to school, and yes she naps, but she does this even when she doesn't take a nap.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and a mom and nearly every family I've worked for wants me to cut out naps starting at age 2. Why? So the child will fall dead asleep early and the parents won't have to deal with them at night. Sad but it is the truth. So that makes for a lot of cranky tired kids starting at about 5:00pm on. My son is now 3 yrs old and I always put him down for naptime but he only sleeps 4-5 days per week. If he doesn't nap, I usually put him to bed earlier at 7:30 or so. If he had a nap, I let him stay up until about 8:30 after he has had a chance to run around w/ the neighborhood kids.

Agreed that two is certainly too young to cut out napping altogether. I'm the poster who said I prefer my 3.5 year old DD not nap and I stand by that, though. It's important to my marriage that my DH and I be able to spend time alone without kids in the evening.

[Anonymous]

Let's be honest, some of the posters who put their kids to bed at 7 or 8, even though they and/or their husbands work FT, do it for their convenience, so they have the evening in peace and quiet. They claim they are doing it for the child, but i don't buy it. I work FT and my son goes to bed at 10 so we can spend time together (we all go to bed together (cosleep)).

Between bedtime and naps, he gets 12 hours asleep a day.

Flame away.

[Anonymous]

As the mother of a nearly 3 year old who is still making noise with books, and toys in the bed (I can hear it over the monitor), I wish the bedimte thing were easier, but I can't say it gets better with age. My 5 year old occassionally naps (in VA it is a state reg that a licensed daycare facility must give the children an opportunity to nap and if they don't nap within the 1st half hour, then they can choose a quiet activity-yes I actually looked up the reg) and is a total pain to try to put to bed. He has some behavior issues (unrelated to sleep) and the clinical pyschologist we spoke to indicates that, at 5 years of age, he should get all his sleep at night, 10-11 hours. I wish it were true, this is why I'm off to bed as soon as #2 drifts off-wait I still hear talking and books, so not yet (almost 9 and he was in bed at 8:05).

[Anonymous]

"the lazy parent who lets her 3yr old kid watch whatever TV until 11pm."

Lazy mom here. Not all kids need so much sleep and, as the pp whose child goes to bed at 9 but carries on until 11 knows, there isn't anything a parent can do about it. If they don't need to sleep, they are not going to sleep just because you put them in bed or force them to stay in their room. After trying that and it not working, I couldn't see the point in continuing. Just made for an unpleasant time for both of us and I didn't want either of us to go to sleep feeling that way.

Sleep is something that has been discussed time and again with teachers and our pediatrician and all agree his sleep is fine. He is not exhausted at preschool and is considered one of the best students in the class. He also has no health problems and, except on rare occasions, did not meltdown because he was tired. That is really what matters - whether they can perform effectively during the day and whether they are healthy, not the number of hours.

And, not that it matters, but all I said was that I allow TV from 9 to 11. I never said that he choose to watch it very often. In fact, his favorite thing to do was to build cities across the playroom floor while I would read, work or play on the computer in the same room. The cities were quite impressive as a matter of fact. But every now and again he liked a video or a cartoon. Doesn't seem so bad to me. And, what I did isn't that different than letting him play quietly in his room - an equally good alternative but not one that would work for us because I don't allow toys to be kept in the bedroom. In our house, we play in the common areas so that we can all be together.

Last thing on this is that believe me, there is nothing lazy about having a 3 year old up with you at 11 pm. You have no time alone to call friends, fold a load of laundry, clean the kitchen, talk to your spouse or whatever it is that people do with their end of the day free time. Then, when you are at your most tired and patience is not at its peak, that is the point when bedtime routine starts. It can take every ounce of self control not to get irritated with normal 3 year old dawdling and silliness when all you are thinking about is that the alarm will be going off before you get even 6 hours of sleep.

[Anonymous]

20:57, let me get this straight: The parents who put their kids down at 8 are doing it "for their convenience," but parents who keep their kids up to 10 pm so that everyone can spend time together have only the child's best interests in mind? Really?

All of this said, my almost 3 yo hasn't been getting to bed most nights until 9:30. And I fully admit it's because I have a 3 mo and need my husband's help for dinner and bedtime, and he doesn't get home until 7:30 most nights. Before #2 came along, #1 was getting to sleep an hour earlier. Fortunately, he still takes 3 hour naps most days, so he's getting about 13 hours of sleep each day.