Aggressively telling women to smile...

[Anonymous]

People who are incredulous to this, and think people are overreacting, obviously never had this happen to them. It is utterly belittling. It's a stranger telling you to how to feel, to control your emotions, and if they can't do that, well then just pretend because I find your face offensive. Would you really want to hear that, just because you're deep in thought or (as the PP pointed out) something tragic just happened in your life?

[Anonymous]

I think I've found my community!!! I love that other women find this ridiculous and belittling too. It's such an intrusion into my private life. Will you guys be my friends ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And what's up with "Have a nice day!" ??? Don't tell me what to do! And quit prying into my business. I hate those rude people.

Another one is "Thanks for coming!" from store employees. Don't thank me; just provide me a service. And why do they always say it in that gaspy, moaning way? Really irritating.

And don't get me started on "Good morning!". I just about want to strangle those little urchins when they come pounding down the steps each day. They're just trying to manipulate me into cooking breakfast. Jerks.

I think you are trying to belittle or reduce to absurdity the "Smile" phenomenon. Have a nice day/Thanks for coming/Good morning/ are unisexual and while annoying, they are not come-ons and they are not intrusive or manipulative. The "smile" situation irks me because it takes me out of my personal reverie, it's a come-on, and it treats me like some kind of marionette. I'm well into my 40's. I'm not going to paste a smile on my face because some UPS man in his 20's wants me to.

I think your own post established that it's not a come-on. People don't often come on to cranky 40-somethings.

You're absolutely right. Jennifer Aniston, 42, is absolutely sexless and no one would ever hit on her.

Yes, and the nerve of a woman past 40 even implying she is attractive, and not a complete dried up hag that is a total waste of space and drain on society. How dare her.

Yeah, 40+ women really need to be grateful for any scrap of attention we get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I've found my community!!! I love that other women find this ridiculous and belittling too. It's such an intrusion into my private life. Will you guys be my friends ?

Yes, but only in my special, grumpy way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who are incredulous to this, and think people are overreacting, obviously never had this happen to them. It is utterly belittling. It's a stranger telling you to how to feel, to control your emotions, and if they can't do that, well then just pretend because I find your face offensive.

Are you similarly offended by "Have a nice day."? It meets the criteria you described.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I've found my community!!! I love that other women find this ridiculous and belittling too. It's such an intrusion into my private life. Will you guys be my friends ?

Yes, but only in my special, grumpy way.

I wouldn't have it any other way!

[Anonymous]

Yes, and the nerve of a woman past 40 even implying she is attractive, and not a complete dried up hag that is a total waste of space and drain on society. How dare her.

I don't think PP was talking about every woman over 40 -- just you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who are incredulous to this, and think people are overreacting, obviously never had this happen to them. It is utterly belittling. It's a stranger telling you to how to feel, to control your emotions, and if they can't do that, well then just pretend because I find your face offensive.

Are you similarly offended by "Have a nice day."? It meets the criteria you described.

As some PP have already said this "smile" directive is only given to women and not men and thus heightening the level of annoyance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who are incredulous to this, and think people are overreacting, obviously never had this happen to them. It is utterly belittling. It's a stranger telling you to how to feel, to control your emotions, and if they can't do that, well then just pretend because I find your face offensive.

Are you similarly offended by "Have a nice day."? It meets the criteria you described.

They are not even remotely the same. Have a nice day is more of a wish that I'm saying to you, as in "I hope you have a nice day." "Smile" is what I said above - "I find your expression offensive, now change it."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Yes, and the nerve of a woman past 40 even implying she is attractive, and not a complete dried up hag that is a total waste of space and drain on society. How dare her.

I don't think PP was talking about every woman over 40 -- just you.

Either way, it's just fun to bash other women, isn't it? Especially over their looks and demeanor, of which we know nothing about on a anonymous web forum. Keep it up!

[Anonymous]

I think your own post established that it's not a come-on. People don't often come on to cranky 40-somethings.

You're absolutely right. Jennifer Aniston, 42, is absolutely sexless and no one would ever hit on her.

1. Notice the "often" - which means that it does happen sometimes. Reading is fundamental.

2. I'm gonna go out on a limb and speculate that you are no Jennifer Aniston.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who are incredulous to this, and think people are overreacting, obviously never had this happen to them. It is utterly belittling. It's a stranger telling you to how to feel, to control your emotions, and if they can't do that, well then just pretend because I find your face offensive.

Are you similarly offended by "Have a nice day."? It meets the criteria you described.

I don't think it's the same at all. If you think about it "Have a nice day" doesn't mean "enjoy your day" it means "I hope your day goes well", and the difference is important.

Basically telling a woman to smile is treating her as an object, and I say that as someone who has occasionally had the impulse.

[Anonymous]

Aggresively telling a woman to smile is a microaggressive manifistation of sexism. Straight up. Women are expected to smile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think your own post established that it's not a come-on. People don't often come on to cranky 40-somethings.

You're absolutely right. Jennifer Aniston, 42, is absolutely sexless and no one would ever hit on her.

1. Notice the "often" - which means that it does happen sometimes. Reading is fundamental.

2. I'm gonna go out on a limb and speculate that you are no Jennifer Aniston.

I'm 5 foot 6, 121 lbs. I have red hair and green eyes, and I get hit on A LOT. Oh....I'm 47.

[Anonymous]

OP, I get it a lot and it drives me nuts.
I have been able to tell some of them that their comments are rude and intrusive, and sometimes controlling.
I am not sure why people do it.