S/O - Would people be shocked by your "behind closed doors" lifestyle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The dust bunnies. I think people would be aghast at the amount of them. I say nothing to the cleaning girl about them because she spends all of her time here just rearranging things on my shelves as far as I can tell--and she's so young and I'm worried she may be a slave of the older cleaning lady who owns the cleaning company.

I need a new cleaner.

This is what I was expecting to find on this thread -- imagine, then, my surprise at the other responses!

I think the only thing people would be shocked at is that DH and I haven't had sex in a million years. Cuddle, snuggle, say I love you and all that - but way too tired for sex. Gosh, I am boring!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is wrong on so many levels. Come on people, why did you get married? And don't say it was for the insurance, the money, whatever. Don't get married, then you can have all the sex you want. And the bonus is you won't have to call yourself a swinger, you can just be an honest to goodness slut.

You write like a woman who hasn't wanted sex with her husband since you were done having kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is wrong on so many levels. Come on people, why did you get married? And don't say it was for the insurance, the money, whatever. Don't get married, then you can have all the sex you want. And the bonus is you won't have to call yourself a swinger, you can just be an honest to goodness slut.

Thanks for the helpful advice, Church Lady

[Anonymous]

"Don't get married, then you can have all the sex you want. "

How can I be a SAHM if I don't rope someone into supporting me and my kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gross, I can't imagine having sex with anyone but my husband. I know he is clean and where he has been. I would need to sanitze and scour any other dude. Just nasty to think about it.

You must lead a very dull life. We live 2 doors down from a couple that we have over for late dinner every couple of weeks. We all send our kids over to their house with a baby sitter and they come here. For the last six months or so they are increasingly physically affectionate with each other in front of us. The first time they did it we had another couple over here too. It was weird, almost stupidly weird. But last weekend, it was just the two of them and they did it again. The woman is in her mid 40's and in great shape--Dh is @50 and hot in a blond George Clooney sort of way. The woman is not as pretty but I am sure she is Bi/curious as she has been hitting on me since we moved here 10 years ago--But you know what, I'm sorry, but I kind of encourage it! It keeps things very lively with DH when they leave. I don't think we'd ever really do anything with them. But the flirting is fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so gross!

I wonder if your kids will be proud of you when they find out where you were when you left them for your "date night".

Why on would our kids ever find out! You are ridiculous! No one would ever do this in front of their kids. 'm not doing this but for people that are, whatever. Just use protection, be completely safe about it, they could be very conservative and responsible in other aspects of their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is wrong on so many levels. Come on people, why did you get married? And don't say it was for the insurance, the money, whatever. Don't get married, then you can have all the sex you want. And the bonus is you won't have to call yourself a swinger, you can just be an honest to goodness slut.

Well, I'm not a swinger, but I think the answer for your question is that marriage is about a lot more than sex. So if you want those things (companionship, family) the single life is not a good alternative.

I would never in a million years do it myself. But I can see how two adults can decide that sexual monogamy is not a necessary part of a marriage. Not everyone thinks that sex and love are tied together.

Nicely put. I too am monogamous, but I can see why some people engage in this lifestyle. Marriage sooooo much more than sex. I know I'm in the minority, but if DH had a fling, I probably would not be that furious. I'd rather open the relationship up rather than separate from my best friend.

[Anonymous]

To me swinging is kind of like going to a nudist beach. Mostly people you wouldn't want to see naked. I got married "late" so I have had plenty of different partners.Therefore, I personally don't have a particular desire to swing/experiment. Thus, nothing shocking to share.

[Anonymous]

though work I met a man who lives the swinger lifestyle. He recently got into it. He and his wife hit his mark where they were going to have to decide to have kids or not. They decided not to and found their marriage stale. So, now they swing. No, i am not interested in joining them but I do like hearing his stories and he likes telling me his stories and showing me his pictures. I feel a little wrong but all this goes on in daylight, downtown, over lunch in public so it can't be that wrong...right?

BTW: when i purchase my house it had a white stone path from the drive to the front door. we re-did it and now I'm extra glad we did!

[Anonymous]

Yes, missionary only sex in bed at home. Yawn.

[Anonymous]

I have no moral objection to consenting adults steppin' out but it wouldn't be for me and not because of a boring sex life (I would assume that the swingers are probably the ones with the boring marital sex, otherwise why go that route?) I do think there's an "ick" factor - I just have no desire to be a gold medalist in the exchange of body fluid Olympics - but mostly it's because I like that my DH and I have this thing that only happens between us. If I were putting it out there for other men - and him for other women - we would lose that.