Why do people (with money) steal?

[Anonymous]

I've accidentally stolen things before. ie: an onion that I forgot about when doing the scanner self-checkout thing at Giant. Or, a kid tosses a candy bar in my shopping bag when I'm not looking and I find it when I get home. One time when shopping for storage bins, my 2 year old tossed a small toy in the bins after it had been scanned - I saw it and had him put it back.

An accident is one thing. Intentionally is another. However, it would be very very hard to prove that it was an accident if you were to get caught, as I'm sure the "it was an accident" excuse is used a lot.

[Anonymous]

This is the 16:14 poster. I've been asked "did you scan those items?" before. Though someone will stop reading here and call me a thief, they were unbagged wholesale store items purchased in the same strip of stores. I told her they were already paid for at the other store and offered to show my receipt. She declined.

[Anonymous]

When I was a teenager I used to steal from my parents. Thousands and thousands of dollars on their ATM cards- they never noticed. I confessed as an adult and went to therapy. My therapist said many people steals things Tgey don't need, to fill a void. Lack of love in their life. I stole to be noticed and used 'things' to fill a void of what I didn't get at home.

This was 20 years ago and of course I still feel terrible and haven't stolen since!

[Anonymous]

I did accidentally walk out of Target with some moisturizer and some Christmas ornament hooks in my basket. I unloaded the cart and paid for the rest of the stuff I was buying and then discovered when I was down in the garage loading the stuff in my car. I actually kept the stuff and started on my way home. I couldn't do it. I turned around and went back to the store and paid for the items. I felt so guilty. I just couldn't live with myself, so I went back. I think it was $12 worth of stuff, but still.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a teenager I used to steal from my parents. Thousands and thousands of dollars on their ATM cards- they never noticed. I confessed as an adult and went to therapy. My therapist said many people steals things Tgey don't need, to fill a void. Lack of love in their life. I stole to be noticed and used 'things' to fill a void of what I didn't get at home.

This was 20 years ago and of course I still feel terrible and haven't stolen since!

Your parents were so rich that they didn't notice thousands of dollars missing?! This has to be fake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a teenager I used to steal from my parents. Thousands and thousands of dollars on their ATM cards- they never noticed. I confessed as an adult and went to therapy. My therapist said many people steals things Tgey don't need, to fill a void. Lack of love in their life. I stole to be noticed and used 'things' to fill a void of what I didn't get at home.

This was 20 years ago and of course I still feel terrible and haven't stolen since!

Your parents were so rich that they didn't notice thousands of dollars missing?! This has to be fake.

Rich or spectacularly disorganized. Honestly, my family's finances are muddled (and our checking account balance is kept so high) to the point that I could see us losing up to $2K/year and my not noticing for a year or two.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like many of us have made it out of the store with items we accidentally didn't pay for. But once you realize your mistake and decide not to go back. then it is no longer an accident. It is stealing.

How can you not go back to pay? Saying you have a baby is no excuse. The obligation to pay for store merchandise is not contingent on whether it is convenient for you! If it were, you could say that because you have a baby, you don't have time to go through the checkout line at all and should just walk out with the stuff in your pockets. It is no different.

Ditto the "they can throw in some free pacifiers." Really? What if your babysitter walked out with some of your stuff and figured that because she works so hard for you, you could "throw in" a free DVD/$10/tshirt/diamond ring?

I've walked out by accident, but I've always gone back to pay. I can't imagine not doing so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a teenager I used to steal from my parents. Thousands and thousands of dollars on their ATM cards- they never noticed. I confessed as an adult and went to therapy. My therapist said many people steals things Tgey don't need, to fill a void. Lack of love in their life. I stole to be noticed and used 'things' to fill a void of what I didn't get at home.

This was 20 years ago and of course I still feel terrible and haven't stolen since!

Your parents were so rich that they didn't notice thousands of dollars missing?! This has to be fake.

Rich or spectacularly disorganized. Honestly, my family's finances are muddled (and our checking account balance is kept so high) to the point that I could see us losing up to $2K/year and my not noticing for a year or two.

wow, can you write me a check for $2K? I'd be glad to organize your finances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really have stolen things on more than on occasion by accident, back when baby was small and I would push him in the stroller so I couldn't carry a basket or use a cart and I would use the stroller to carry my stuff. I remember one time I had a pair of baby PJs hanging on the side of the stroller and another time I had a package of pacifiers in the stroller basket. I confess I didn't bring the things back...too much trouble with a baby and I figure Target and Babies R Us gets enough of my money that they can throw in a free pacifier or pair of PJs. (That said, I certainly wouldn't do it on purpose.)

I've done this at Target three times in the past six months. The first time I went back inside & paid for the item; the next two times I had my 4-year-old with me & decided it was just too much trouble. After the most recent incident (last Saturday) I told myself I was going to be more thorough & careful about what's in my cart--but having read the defense attorney's post, I'm definitely going to figure out how to stop this from happening again. (And now that I think of it, it would probably be really good for my young son to witness Mommy making a big mistake & then trying to make it right by going back...)

How does this happen at Target? Doesn't the detector go off? I've had it go off in stores when I've been browsing too close to the entrance.

I'm so paranoid about being accused of stealing. The other day at CVS I took my lip gloss out of my purse to compare it with the one I wanted to buy, and when I put it back in my purse I was worried someone would only see that part and accuse me of stealing it (not that it would be hard to prove that it was my old, mostly empty bottle, etc). But still.

[Anonymous]

Any non-parents on this thread? Just curious, because even though i am a stickler for things like going back to pay once you find out you have walked out with something by accident or speaking up when you get too much change, I don't think it's the end of the world for someone to decide not to go back in to pay $2.50 for a pacifier once they're already at their car -- unless the person has no kids with them. Those kinds of losses are part of doing business. It is not stealing, it is an accidental loss to the business owner.

I wonder if the people so adamant here about never, ever walking out of a store with something by mistake are non-parents (who also can't imagine never returning their cart even with kids, key word being "imagine").

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any non-parents on this thread? Just curious, because even though i am a stickler for things like going back to pay once you find out you have walked out with something by accident or speaking up when you get too much change, I don't think it's the end of the world for someone to decide not to go back in to pay $2.50 for a pacifier once they're already at their car -- unless the person has no kids with them. Those kinds of losses are part of doing business. It is not stealing, it is an accidental loss to the business owner.

I wonder if the people so adamant here about never, ever walking out of a store with something by mistake are non-parents (who also can't imagine never returning their cart even with kids, key word being "imagine").

I have three children and my eldest (now 15) when he was six yrs. old pocketed a package of chewing gum (which he wasn't allowed to have) and it fell out of his pocket when we got home. I put frozen foods and refrigerated foods away and then put children back in car and we drove back to grocery store where I went to office and asked for manager and then had my son tell him what he had done and then made him pay for the gum and then I threw it in trash can. He learned a valuable lesson. There are no degrees of honesty.

[Anonymous]

its much cheaper to steal items than to pay for it.

[Anonymous]

Can you be charged if you "wardrobe"' clothing? I have a sister that regularly buys clothing at Nordstroms or LL bean, wears it for a few months and then returns it. It probably totals 1-2 thousand dollars a year. Gross and unethical, I know, but is it criminal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any non-parents on this thread? Just curious, because even though i am a stickler for things like going back to pay once you find out you have walked out with something by accident or speaking up when you get too much change, I don't think it's the end of the world for someone to decide not to go back in to pay $2.50 for a pacifier once they're already at their car -- unless the person has no kids with them. Those kinds of losses are part of doing business. It is not stealing, it is an accidental loss to the business owner.

I wonder if the people so adamant here about never, ever walking out of a store with something by mistake are non-parents (who also can't imagine never returning their cart even with kids, key word being "imagine").

I have three children and my eldest (now 15) when he was six yrs. old pocketed a package of chewing gum (which he wasn't allowed to have) and it fell out of his pocket when we got home. I put frozen foods and refrigerated foods away and then put children back in car and we drove back to grocery store where I went to office and asked for manager and then had my son tell him what he had done and then made him pay for the gum and then I threw it in trash can. He learned ar valuable lesson. There are no degrees of honesty.

That is a great thing to do for your child and I would do the very same thing. But that's not the point. We are talking about what to do about the item, not how to teach our children not to shoplift. That lesson would be lost on a baby or toddler or the special needs children the woman arrested had with her.

Your statement "there are no degrees of honesty" is, again, extreme. It's impossible to believe that you have never, ever, ever let something in life fall through the cracks. It's just plain impossible and I don't believe it, even if you think of yourself as perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any non-parents on this thread? Just curious, because even though i am a stickler for things like going back to pay once you find out you have walked out with something by accident or speaking up when you get too much change, I don't think it's the end of the world for someone to decide not to go back in to pay $2.50 for a pacifier once they're already at their car -- unless the person has no kids with them. Those kinds of losses are part of doing business. It is not stealing, it is an accidental loss to the business owner.

I wonder if the people so adamant here about never, ever walking out of a store with something by mistake are non-parents (who also can't imagine never returning their cart even with kids, key word being "imagine").

I have three children and my eldest (now 15) when he was six yrs. old pocketed a package of chewing gum (which he wasn't allowed to have) and it fell out of his pocket when we got home. I put frozen foods and refrigerated foods away and then put children back in car and we drove back to grocery store where I went to office and asked for manager and then had my son tell him what he had done and then made him pay for the gum and then I threw it in trash can. He learned ar valuable lesson. There are no degrees of honesty.

That is a great thing to do for your child and I would do the very same thing. But that's not the point. We are talking about what to do about the item, not how to teach our children not to shoplift. That lesson would be lost on a baby or toddler or the special needs children the woman arrested had with her.

Your statement "there are no degrees of honesty" is, again, extreme. It's impossible to believe that you have never, ever, ever let something in life fall through the cracks. It's just plain impossible and I don't believe it, even if you think of yourself as perfect.

I thought I was clear in that my son shoplifted a package of chewing gum and I took it back to store and paid for it. The lesson was to teach him not to steal but I would have returned an item not paid for that somehow didn't scan. I always check my receipt and I would think most of us do..At no point have I ever said that I am perfect and I am as deeply flawed as the next person but if I find something that I didn't buy, I do take it back to store and either purchase or simply return to store. It is a matter that I would know what I should have done. It is called conscience.