If you look good in a bikini

[Anonymous]

You don't know everyone's insecurities. The point is that if you DO know then you act accordingly.

I feel like I am talking to a third grader!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again, how am I supposed to know each persons insecurities? They advertise them?

You must not have very many friends. If you did, trust me, you would not be asking this question.

[Anonymous]

I'm overweight and I have thin friends. I wouldn't dream of asking them to cover up and I don't even for a second wish that they would. To me, they've earned their bodies with hard work and I think they deserve to flaunt it if they feel good!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm overweight and I have thin friends. I wouldn't dream of asking them to cover up and I don't even for a second wish that they would. To me, they've earned their bodies with hard work and I think they deserve to flaunt it if they feel good!

But then you don't fall into the category of people who are insecure about it. That's wonderful, but many people are, and I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to make a friend feel more comfortable if you know they have issues about something.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I have many friends, we tend to go to the beach in groups, which is why I am asking. Some of the "bigger" girls seem catty about some of the "bikini" girls, otherwise it would not have occurred to me to ask this.

PP I wonder how a friend is supposed to know if that/those friends aren't so forthcoming about any insecurities? Are you supposed to find out after the friend is angered by a bikini so much that they instigate other issues amongst the friends? It sounds sneaky, but I have seen this happen and I am curious. Maybe it is the large group dynamic that creates the problem? We like to all go together, I thought for the most part we enjoyed it. But this ugly side is just that, ugly. With the rental season coming up, I would like to avoid any nastiness, but I think it is impossible to intercept and react to what insecurities might happen. After a certain age, should people still care so much what others think? I guess my point is, if they are that insecure, they probably won't admit to it. Or is it just immaturity on their part? Are they just looking for something to complain about? Should we not include those friends?

I am trying to include many people in our trips, maybe that is the problem. You can't make everyone happy all the time. And there are some people who aren't even happy some of the time! Drama queens, perhaps?

[Anonymous]

OP I was sort of with you at the beginning. But if you and your friends are actually squabbling about this type of stuff, I think you all need to grow up. Do you have children? What kind of life do you lead that you spend all summer at the beach with your buddies???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have many friends, we tend to go to the beach in groups, which is why I am asking. Some of the "bigger" girls seem catty about some of the "bikini" girls, otherwise it would not have occurred to me to ask this.

PP I wonder how a friend is supposed to know if that/those friends aren't so forthcoming about any insecurities? Are you supposed to find out after the friend is angered by a bikini so much that they instigate other issues amongst the friends? It sounds sneaky, but I have seen this happen and I am curious. Maybe it is the large group dynamic that creates the problem? We like to all go together, I thought for the most part we enjoyed it. But this ugly side is just that, ugly. With the rental season coming up, I would like to avoid any nastiness, but I think it is impossible to intercept and react to what insecurities might happen. After a certain age, should people still care so much what others think? I guess my point is, if they are that insecure, they probably won't admit to it. Or is it just immaturity on their part? Are they just looking for something to complain about? Should we not include those friends?

I am trying to include many people in our trips, maybe that is the problem. You can't make everyone happy all the time. And there are some people who aren't even happy some of the time! Drama queens, perhaps?

How old are you, eighteen? Get a life.

[Anonymous]

I went on vacation with two friends who are overweight (50-70 lbs) and I wore a cover-up. I know one has been struggling forever to lose weight and I was having the opposite issue (lost too much weight after BFing). On the flip, they chose that vacation site because it was one I could afford.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have many friends, we tend to go to the beach in groups, which is why I am asking. Some of the "bigger" girls seem catty about some of the "bikini" girls, otherwise it would not have occurred to me to ask this.

PP I wonder how a friend is supposed to know if that/those friends aren't so forthcoming about any insecurities? Are you supposed to find out after the friend is angered by a bikini so much that they instigate other issues amongst the friends? It sounds sneaky, but I have seen this happen and I am curious. Maybe it is the large group dynamic that creates the problem? We like to all go together, I thought for the most part we enjoyed it. But this ugly side is just that, ugly. With the rental season coming up, I would like to avoid any nastiness, but I think it is impossible to intercept and react to what insecurities might happen. After a certain age, should people still care so much what others think? I guess my point is, if they are that insecure, they probably won't admit to it. Or is it just immaturity on their part? Are they just looking for something to complain about? Should we not include those friends?

I am trying to include many people in our trips, maybe that is the problem. You can't make everyone happy all the time. And there are some people who aren't even happy some of the time! Drama queens, perhaps?

Ah, very immature behavior. I cannot imagine my friends behaving like this. You all need to grow up quite a bit!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again, how am I supposed to know each persons insecurities? They advertise them?

yes. we all wear signs now. didn't you get the memo?