tired of superficial friendships

[Anonymous]

I really only have a need for superficial friendships with new folks at this time in my life. I have my husband and kids, I'm very close with my parents and see them a lot, we are close with our siblings/each other siblings, my husband's parents, and I have some good buds at work I socialize with, a couple of really good, old friends who I don't talk to often but are there for me (and vice versa) when I need them (through miscarriages and so on). We have some fun neighbors we catch up with some, and then you add in work and trying to get to yoga once in a while, and Facebook is about as deep as I can go with any more friendships.

I think OP you are just entering a phase where people are really busy - a lot of parents have their kids, their parents, and it's a lot to focus on. Throw in work or another commitment and it's tough to make new friends at this stage. I wish you luck....just trying to offer an explanation!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not apropos. That is the point, dumbass.

so are you just randomly posting nonsense all over the DCUM boards or just on this thread?

I'll see your nonsense paragraph and raise you a with this:

ballerinas and squirrels who wash floors at the beach also eat berries in nebraska.

there. take that you..you...crazy nonsense poster, you!

/
I just reported you, as you are clearly on here trying to stir up trouble. With all your self-important bluster you sound like a very disagreeable person, and frankly not someone I'd want as a friend. But that's just me...I tend to dislike pot-stirrers like yourself. To each his own.

Have a nice day now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:UGH! I have "friends" like you who are all caught up in keeping score of how good a friend I am by how many times I call, what things I invite them too, who many times I email, etc. It's so tiresome and not something at my age I am interested in. When I get friends complaning about this, I do tend to drop them.

Friendships are not as instant or as intense as they were back when we were in school (college, grad school, etc) and it takes time for them to develop.

Says you - that's not how REAL friendships work, irregardless of what age we are. *I* tend to not befriend people of your superficial mindset in the first place. You're doing your "friends" a favor by dropping them, IMO - you sound as shallow as a puddle.

[Anonymous]

Op what neighborhood are you in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not apropos. That is the point, dumbass.

so are you just randomly posting nonsense all over the DCUM boards or just on this thread?

I'll see your nonsense paragraph and raise you a with this:

ballerinas and squirrels who wash floors at the beach also eat berries in nebraska.

there. take that you..you...crazy nonsense poster, you!

/
I just reported you, as you are clearly on here trying to stir up trouble. With all your self-important bluster you sound like a very disagreeable person, and frankly not someone I'd want as a friend. But that's just me...I tend to dislike pot-stirrers like yourself. To each his own.

Have a nice day now.

You all need to simmer down. I think the first poster who posted something that seemed like nonsense was trying to post on another thread (where the post would have made sense.) This kind of misposting has been happening more often recently (it happened to me a few weeks ago) and seems like it is just a technological glitch with the site.

The second poster, apparently not being familiar with this glitch, assumed it was someone trying to stir up trouble and posted an actual nonsense response. Then a third poster (I think) got upset and reported the problem to Jeff.

Everything is fine. No need to get upset. Sometimes technology fails.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP, this is what DCUM/internet and psychoanalysis are for. Very few folks in competitive urban environments can invest in close, intense friendships. You want to divulge deep things? You could go to confession...

Wow, I feel sorry for you. This is your experience? I've built some pretty strong relationships with about 3-4 other women. The rest are a bit superficial, but having 3 solid "ride or die" girlfriends fills my cup.

[Anonymous]

As a PP said, where are your friends from before you had kids?

I have lots of newer mom friends, but I also have three very close friends I've had for years. Two for 15+ years and one for 10+. But even these relationships take work. Put in the time, be there for good and bad, and show your true self to people.

[Anonymous]

Non-superficial friendships are rare, regardless of where one lives, iMO!!!

[Anonymous]

I really have only one very close friend, a second close friend, and a wider group of hanging out friends who are people I wouldn't spill my guts to but with whom I still have deep conversations and fun. I prefer it that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. I have to add, when DC was little, I made it a point to avoid certain brand strollers, for example, just so I could meet down to earth people. We could afford any stroller/s we wanted, we just didn't want that type of person in our lives. We found that the people with certain strollers that we happened to meet were shallow, hangers on that were really, really bad with money! I think this gives you a good example of how difficult "down to earth" (truly) is to find here. Having "that" stroller or car or "this" clothing or jewelry or whatever means very little when you have only that to your name, anyway. And that type of person would NEVER be happy. That is what we don't need in our lives; but there seems just so much of that here. Transparent and tiresome, I say. Flame all you want, I really don't care.

But by saying you COULD afford it, you ARE one of those people. Don't you get that?