How do you make right with your kid after you've screwed up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm really sorry, but who bites their own kid? I know you must feel bad and you didn't mean it, but I think you need to take an anger management class.

I agree, this is seriously disturbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. OP, yes, you learn from mistakes and move forward. Despite the pummeling you are taking from some folks here, your post has also done a lot of unintended good. My kids are older than yours (8 and 5), and tonight your post inspired me to ask my 8 year old how I am a good parent and how I am not a good parent. I started thinking about how can you make up for things and the importance of communication (well, and there was an assist from the Older Kids forum post about someone at her wit's end with a 13 year old, but you were the prime inspiration). Her answers were very helpful and also gave her the strength to tell me about one thing I said that hurt her feelings within the last two weeks. She has a hard time expressing her feelings, so it was a major breakthrough for her to be able to do that.

I am getting help from you, you will learn from and get help from this, and we will all end today a little wiser and smarter. Parenting is not about always having the right answers. It is about asking the right questions and learning as you go. Good luck to you, OP.

This is a great post! Not the OP, but thank you!

OP, I think there are 3 things a person should do if she's made a mistake - Acknowlege it, Apologize for it and Attempt to make it better. It sounds like you've done all 3. Good job! Today's a new day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an aside, I don't think this is an Off-Topic thread at all! Definitely General Parenting.

I think we all want to know (at some point or another) how to do right by our kids after we've made a mistake.

I have a horrible relationship with my parents, and I know my mom and I would get along so much better if she asked herself this question.

Because she knows she would get SLAUGHTERED if she posted this in the general parenting forum.

[Anonymous]

Wow, there are a LOT of BITCHES here... I admit, biting your kit is quite strange, and something I never see myself doing.. but the OP came here ALREADY FEELING BAD about this.... It's not like she's saying "I bit my kid 'cause he pissed me off, all over now, no big deal".... She genuinely already felt bad, and was looking for ways to hopefully make this right between her and her child... You are all a bunch of assholes. The type of people who would kick the homeless guy who just passed out. Way to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, there are a LOT of BITCHES here... I admit, biting your kit is quite strange, and something I never see myself doing.. but the OP came here ALREADY FEELING BAD about this.... It's not like she's saying "I bit my kid 'cause he pissed me off, all over now, no big deal".... She genuinely already felt bad, and was looking for ways to hopefully make this right between her and her child... You are all a bunch of assholes. The type of people who would kick the homeless guy who just passed out. Way to go.

Disagree. OP can benefit from knowing how seriously most people take what she did.

[Anonymous]

Don't you think she already knows that what she did sucks????? It is completely clear in her post that she feels overwhelmingly guilty for what she did... And yes, she should feel bad... but she already does... What is being accomplished by trying to make her feel worse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't you think she already knows that what she did sucks????? It is completely clear in her post that she feels overwhelmingly guilty for what she did... And yes, she should feel bad... but she already does... What is being accomplished by trying to make her feel worse?

See above.

[Anonymous]

Well getting OP to understand just how extreme this was, for starters. I'm not clear what OP was hoping to accomplish by posting on DCUM. This is not the sort of behavior that breeds solidarity.

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one who thinks the original post is fake? She bit her 4 year old because he had her arms pinned? Who is this kid, Bambam?

[Anonymous]

If she expected people to say, hey, way to go, sorry, ain't gonna happen. If she expected someone like myself to say, hey, don't worry about it, apologize and move on, ain't gonna happen. This was truly the most bizarre posting and most bizarre behavior exhibited by a mother that yes, some people are going to react extremely. It's disgusting what she did, she came on a public forum for what? Support? Sorry, go look somewhere else. I'm not going to chuckle at her "I put myself in a time out" quip. It's disgusting.
Sorry if my reaction to this abusive behavior on her part isn't to some of you PP's liking, but no, I actually don't believe she understands the gravity of what she did. I think she's looking for "It's OK. Move on. You apologized." This is so much worse and so much deeper than that. It's not OK, and nothing she says or any of you say makes her behavior OK. And if by "pummeling" her, she starts to understand that she has a problem, mission accomplished by posting on this website.

[Anonymous]

IMHO, we’re dealing with two different things here.

The OP asked specifically how to make it right by her kid. I think the answers she has gotten are valid regarding apologizing, making amends and moving on. Using time-outs and calling daddy are at the level of atonement that a 4yr old can understand. As others have suggested, she appears to be using it as a teaching moment and hopefully can move on in a strong and healthy relationship with her child.

The issue that others are jumping on isn’t one the OP asked, but probably should. It’s what she should do to personally evaluate her own behavior and determine how she intends to insure that such a thing never ever happens again. She hopefully can see from the responses that biting her own child is shocking, and potentially a scary view into what could come down the line in terms of physical violence towards her child. Whether it’s PEP classes, counseling, prayer, meditation, or whatever, how is she going to prevent herself from a knee-jerk violent reaction in the future. Not sure what her husband’s response to this was, and whether he can be part of the process of evaluating and changing her impulses.

OP, you definitely seem to be, and should be, appalled by what happened. But, the fact that you posted tells me that you want to do something about it. Good luck.