Any advice for dealing with racist comments?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If the OP only wanted opinions that only agreed with hers, she should have stated so.

Your OPINION is based on what? On your child's version of events? Why do you make a point to engage in name calling?

The issue is not that your child is yyyy. The issue is that your child acts like a brat and she gets her way. You said that your child was the only child allowed recess while the rest of the class got in - please explain to me how this is fair. I am sure that your child was not the only child that was behaving.

This statement makes me think that you agree with the children in the class that this little girl is getting preferential treatment because she is yyyy. Am I misreading you here?

I am not going to defend what I had to say, but let"s be clear...

YES, my OPINION is based on what my child has told me...just like the OP's OPINION was based on what her child told her.

YES, I think that this child is getting preferential treatment, but I don't think that the problem lies in the hands of the children. I think that the teacher is at fault here for creating this kind of atmosphere. There is no way that she should have been allowed to have recess if the ENTIRE class was punished, at all.

[jsteele]

This thread has turned out to be quite disappointing. The OP feels that her child has been the victim of racist comments. It appears that two other posters feel their their children have been unfairly labeled as racists. As a parent, I wouldn't want my children to be in either camp and can, therefore, sympathize with both sides. But, I don't think it does anyone any good to see this discussion degenerate further here on DCUM. Could I suggest that one of the two parents who apparently know the identify of the original poster volunteer to make contact with the OP off-line so that this matter can be settled in an amicable manner? I would also be happy to facilitate getting you all in touch with each other, but that hardly seems necessary. I think that a sit down over coffee or other beverage of your choice would go a lot further than further posts in this thread. At any rate, I will be removing this thread shortly in the interest of children on both sides of the dispute.

[Anonymous]

When I was being picked on at school, my mom had the bully and the parents over for dinner. I think the parents on this forum should go to dinner together.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:This thread has turned out to be quite disappointing. The OP feels that her child has been the victim of racist comments. It appears that two other posters feel their their children have been unfairly labeled as racists. As a parent, I wouldn't want my children to be in either camp and can, therefore, sympathize with both sides. But, I don't think it does anyone any good to see this discussion degenerate further here on DCUM. Could I suggest that one of the two parents who apparently know the identify of the original poster volunteer to make contact with the OP off-line so that this matter can be settled in an amicable manner? I would also be happy to facilitate getting you all in touch with each other, but that hardly seems necessary. I think that a sit down over coffee or other beverage of your choice would go a lot further than further posts in this thread. At any rate, I will be removing this thread shortly in the interest of children on both sides of the dispute.

Thanks Jeff. Is there is any way to preserve this thread without identifying information and move to general parenting or schools? It is a cautionary tale of how easily things can spiral out of control and how sensitive the issues of bullying and race are here in DC. It could also be helpful to have a postscript later in the year to give examples of how really tough situation was resolved. (Hopefully.) It is sad this has happened. But it's also reality. (Or a really evil troll.)

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks Jeff. Is there is any way to preserve this thread without identifying information and move to general parenting or schools? It is a cautionary tale of how easily things can spiral out of control and how sensitive the issues of bullying and race are here in DC. It could also be helpful to have a postscript later in the year to give examples of how really tough situation was resolved. (Hopefully.) It is sad this has happened. But it's also reality. (Or a really evil troll.)

I had planned to remove the thread by now, but none of the protagonists have weighed in. I don't want it to just disappear without them knowing why. So, I have taken your idea and sanitized the thread as much as possible. Without identifying informatin, I think this thread will be a bit of a Rorschach test.

[Anonymous]

I was not the only white kid at my junior high in XX city, but damn close. When I came home crying after the umpteenth time of being picked on for being the "new white girl", having kids threaten my unless they could copy from my homework, not being able to hear the teacher because the classes were so large and so loud and disrespectful, and finding out that the multi-racial G&T students I went to class with were hiding, um, eating up in the English teachers classroom during lunchtime, my parents started the private school application process.

[Anonymous]

This thread has hit a raw nerve and unearthed the disturbing reality of the DC schools and I'm glad the moderator did not remove it. I would like to tell the truth about what I see here. There have been several posts by individuals who were bullied for being white in the DC public schools, in some cases their families paying thousands to private schools to keep them safe from abuse and insulated from racial tension. While white families are abandoning the DC public schools entirely, families of color have open-enrolled their children at the better schools in DC to keep them out of the the problem schools in their own neighborhoods. Obviously, OP was not aware of this situation and has placed her child in a hornets nest of pent up, and in the case of some of these posts, open hostility. It all comes down to an atmosphere of scarcity, fear, intolerance and competition for what little resources the DC public education system has to offer. If OP's child was told that she was getting special treatment because she was white, doesn't that comment just sum up what children see in DC schools? White children go to the expensive private schools. They get better treatment. The child who made the comment is also the victim of the deep racial divide in DC schools. Many of the posts on this thread have been well reasoned and reflect a genuine desire to heal this community. Many reflect a perpetual rift. This school has an opportunity to educate children, teachers and parents on how to resolve conflict, rise above and show their children how to respect each other. In doing so, they will take a step toward closing the divide. I would like to hear from both families about how this situation has turned out; hopefully, in a spirit of respect.