Daycare - pros and cons

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You might want to read Gordon Neufeld's "Hold On To Your Kids" before you opt for daycare over a nanny or shared nanny. There may be some drawbacks to encouraging peer orientation at such an early age.

Can you let us kno some of his theories? I am curious.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have prefered an in-home daycare because there are quieter times/places for the babies to get in a good nap.

But... on the other hand, it trains kids to sleep well without silence. We could run a freight train through our daughters room and she would probably remain asleep, thanks in part to the daycare training.

I don't think I would be too proud of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have prefered an in-home daycare because there are quieter times/places for the babies to get in a good nap.

But... on the other hand, it trains kids to sleep well without silence. We could run a freight train through our daughters room and she would probably remain asleep, thanks in part to the daycare training.

I don't think I would be too proud of that.

I am not proud nor ashamed of it. It is just the reality. She was born in the city, lived on a street with ambulances racing past, people walking around and talking loudly (or yelling) outside her window, a street light near her window, and my spouse and I never made a point of tip-toeing around when she slept. You combine that with daycare and now we have a sound sleeping kid. In some ways, it is great. We can live our normal life after she goes to bed. We don't have to be silent, keep the TV low, answer the phone on the first ring. But... bedwetting is a challenge, since she is such a sound sleeper she doesn't wake up easily when her body is telling her to go to the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:08 here again....yeah, I gotta say the in-home situation makes me nervous. Is anyone really checking on them? Again, I guess I am lucky because our center is family run and feels very homey, yet I like that it is a center with rules and structure and lots of accountability (and no TV's, etc) I don't what the Kindercares are like (though I am sure some are just fine)

And I thought this comment was kind of funny: "being strolled to the park everyday-when he wants to, eat home cooked meals, have a book read to him when he wants it, nap when he's ready,"

What? Does he say "please read me my book now? Then I would like to take a stroll in the park"

At daycare, you still get to be the boss and the teachers follow instructions. Ie, "put him down to nap when he is acting tired. This is usually around X time". Its not until he is older, I think, that he has to follow their schedule. Right now, at 11 mos, it's still my schedule. I tell them when he eats, what he eats, when he naps, etc. And they take the kids out whenever it is nice out.

As many have said, daycare versus a nanny is a very personal choice. It is good you are asking because otherwise how would you know what it is really like? I did not understand at first, going in to daycare, that I still had as much control as I do. I was very worried about napping because I like his nap schedule the way it is (he naturally gravitated to two naps a a day at certain times) and I did not want daycare to change his schedule. They respect the schedule I set for him.

No-he doesn't say "Please read me my book"-he brings us his books to read to him! And when he does-we read to him. And play with the toys he wants to play with. Personally-I'm glad he's at home. He's doing exactly what he'd be doing if I were home with him.

You don't read to your child when they bring you book? You find that funny? Maybe it's because we read to him a lot. He picks up his crocs and stands by the door when he's ready to go outside. What's wrong with doing what your children want to do? He signs to us when he's ready to sleep, when he wants to play, when he wants his milk-so I really don't see your point or why you find this funny.

My daughter who is in daycare, is being cared for by 3 wonderful caregivers, has the company of 5 other little children. The daycare offers music together, some art focuses activity by a dedicated art teacher. She gets read to when she brings a book to her caregivers, she goes to teh park everyday, says "night night" when she wants to sleep, picks up a toy when she wants to play, etc... So yes, she does get a 1 to 2 ratio with the added benefit of the company of her little friends .She is now 17 months old and loves her caregivers, has a "best friend", etc...

I used to have a not so good nanny and much much prefer her current daycare to that situation.

[Anonymous]

I have absolutely no regrets about putting my kids in daycare. My older one is 5 now and about to start school in the fall, and my younger is almost 3, and they have both been in the same large daycare since they were infants. Every day they go racing into the school and are excited and happy and engaged when I pick them up. Their teachers have been wonderful -- loving, dedicated and nurturing at every level, and I have complete confidence in them that they will protect and care for my kids. I can tell from talking to them that they really know and understand my kids, and notice the little things they do, their preferences, their fears, their habits and so on.

I don't have any other experiences with other care situations. I went back to work when they were infants and that is the only place they've ever known, so I have no basis for comparison and I certainly don't claim that my experience is universal. All I know is if you find the right place for you kids, it can be a wonderful experience. I can only judge based on the results so far--two happy, healthy, and thriving kids who are secure in the knowledge that they are loved and are therefore able to go out into the world with confidence to see what's out there for them.

[Anonymous]

We visited 2 daycares and decided that this is not for us. We went during lunch to tour and was shocked at the junk the gave the kids to eat. The sad thing was to watch a 10-11 month old eating cut-up chicken nuggets and fries. I made a comment about the poor quality food and was told (at one place) that if I packed my daughter's lunch, I had to pay an extra $10 per week. The other place told me that this is typical daycare food and it isn't as bad as I think. Yuch!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You might want to read Gordon Neufeld's "Hold On To Your Kids" before you opt for daycare over a nanny or shared nanny. There may be some drawbacks to encouraging peer orientation at such an early age.

Can you let us kno some of his theories? I am curious.....

I'm the poster who mentioned this book. I don't have it in front of me, but I think I can summarize the thesis. In a nutshell, the author suggests that early emphasis on putting children into settings with other children, such as daycare, encourages what he calls "peer orientation," meaning that children look to their peers to learn how to behave, etc., when they should be looking to parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, teachers, and very close family friends who take on "aunt" and "uncle" roles. He believes that peer orientation is a huge problem in middle childhood and adolescence, and that the earlier it starts the more problematic it is. He also thinks that the emphasis on very small children having "friends" is not necessarily useful in the long run. I can't really convey any of this as well as the book does; I just recommended it for an alternate point of view when considering daycare. It is not an "anti daycare" book, but it does provide a different way of thinking about the perceived social benefits of daycare versus nanny care.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend, a SAHM, who also believed in the same theory. She didn't really get her daughter out with other children until the age of 2.5-when she went to preschool. That child is very well rounded, very delightful, and is great with other children. She told me-children really don't "play with each other" until the age of 2.5-3-that's when they start to interact. I guess she must have read that book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend, a SAHM, who also believed in the same theory. She didn't really get her daughter out with other children until the age of 2.5-when she went to preschool. That child is very well rounded, very delightful, and is great with other children. She told me-children really don't "play with each other" until the age of 2.5-3-that's when they start to interact. I guess she must have read that book.

My kids started a playgroup when they were one, and I think this is sort of the standard observation. Even at 2.5 or 3, some children are just beginning to play with each other. There are exceptions, of course, but I think it's fairly normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We visited 2 daycares and decided that this is not for us. We went during lunch to tour and was shocked at the junk the gave the kids to eat. The sad thing was to watch a 10-11 month old eating cut-up chicken nuggets and fries. I made a comment about the poor quality food and was told (at one place) that if I packed my daughter's lunch, I had to pay an extra $10 per week. The other place told me that this is typical daycare food and it isn't as bad as I think. Yuch!

11:08 poster here. I am shocked by this!!! I cant believe this is true at most daycares. We bring our own food to daycare. I think at some point when the kids are older they can eat there, but for now we have to bring our own and leave very specific instructions as to how it is to be prepared and served.

[Anonymous]

"I have a friend, a SAHM, who also believed in the same theory. She didn't really get her daughter out with other children until the age of 2.5-when she went to preschool. That child is very well rounded, very delightful, and is great with other children. She told me-children really don't "play with each other" until the age of 2.5-3-that's when they start to interact. I guess she must have read that book. "

This theory doesn't sound right. My one yeat old loves to play with his 3 yr old sister. He delights in patty cake and clapping games, they chase each other, hand toys back and forth. She is very good with him and he loves to play. So what are families with 2, 3, or 4 kids supposed do keep them confined to separate sections of the house to avoid peer orientation?

[Anonymous]

I agree with previous poster. My daughter who is younger than 2.5 plays with her older brother, plays with the other 5 kids in the room : peekaboo, taking turns wearing a hat, pointing to x's nose, y's nose, etc..

I have to say I am absolutely delighted with her daycare and I wouldn't have it another way. Between a good daycare and a nanny : I say go for the daycare.

[Anonymous]

I was skeptical about daycare too--but my 13 month old (started at 6 m.o.) loves it--loves the kids, bonded with her caregivers & she is part time. Georgetown Hill @ Woodley Gardens does part time, with many different options. Not sure of their openings, but I was never on a wait list.

[Anonymous]

I also had a great experience with having my first child start day care at 13 months. He really enjoyed it. I just felt that it was the right fit for him.

[Anonymous]

Also, most day care centers follow the USDA food plan. You should ask to see the menu. The center my 3 year old also has a veggie menu. The food is catered.