People who grew up middle class but then became rich, what does it feel like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t change our lifestyle but does give peace of mind for retirement and any emergency that could come up. Also we can afford any college for our kids.

This is us. We still do not travel first class...though we could. I still shop sales at the grocery store. How else do you menu plan???

Why would you need to shop sales to menu plan? I just make what I want to make.

[Anonymous]

It feels about the same - I don't feel like our lives are much different day by day, but our kids have had a very different upbringing and way more opportunities/experiences than we did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t change our lifestyle but does give peace of mind for retirement and any emergency that could come up. Also we can afford any college for our kids.

This is us. We still do not travel first class...though we could. I still shop sales at the grocery store. How else do you menu plan???

Why would you need to shop sales to menu plan? I just make what I want to make.

Exactly! We have plenty of $$. We make what we want, buy the fruits and veggies and meats and fish that we want. Sure I've noticed my pint of Organic blueberries is 35-40% more than 2 years ago, but I still buy it because that's what we want to eat.
But menu plan once you have enough, why? Beyond menu planning to shop, but definitely not to shop the sales

[Anonymous]

Nothing is really all that different, aside from maybe a little less worry about money. But I do still worry about it, and don't really spend all that much more of it, aside from first class tickets on overnight flights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Define "rich."

I was trailer trash growing up and became a Biglaw equity partner. Am I "rich?"

Yes.

Everything is relative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t change our lifestyle but does give peace of mind for retirement and any emergency that could come up. Also we can afford any college for our kids.

This is us. We still do not travel first class...though we could. I still shop sales at the grocery store. How else do you menu plan???

Why would you need to shop sales to menu plan? I just make what I want to make.

Pretty sure that PP was being a bit tongue-in-cheek. But I often plan meal prep around what is on sale in the weekly Harris Teeter circular, and purposely buy what is on sale. And I could buy everything in the store if I wanted to. Why do I do this? Because I feel like it. We eat really well, we aren't wanting for anything because I buy things when they are on sale. I learned this kind of frugality from grandparents who had more money than God, but didn't waste it. Midwestern values, and all that. How I grocery shop is about values, not just access to money. It's just how I was brought up to do things.

[Anonymous]

Mo money mo problems

[Anonymous]

Mostly it feels like peace of mind.

For context, we are not absurdly rich like many of the people posting are claiming to be. Our HHI right now is around 250K, down from its peak at 375K. We have a lot saved in investments relative to our age (40), but our networth - including home equity - just crossed 1M this year. We've reached Coast FIRE and are on track to retire by 55.

We live in a middle class neighborhood (100K average HHI) because that's what felt normal to us when we bought right out of grad school when our incomes were much lower. Truthfully, we were too middle class to expect our incomes to increase so significantly over time. We used our high income to get rid of student loans, build robust emergency and retirement savings, save in brokerage accounts, and create wealth which gives us a lot of peace of mind.

I used to worry a lot about every little penny I spent (I literally kept a notebook where I tracked every expenditure), and now I don't worry about things that cost less than 1K because spending that much isn't going to impact my financial life. I don't worry about emergencies because most things aren't emergencies when you have the money to fix them.

After that, the biggest change has been realizing that, for many things, I can get precisely the thing that I want. Not the cheaper alternative, or the used version. I can actually buy the furniture I like and not just pin it on pinterest. I can buy a new car instead of a used car just because I want a specific interior/exterior color combo and the upgraded version with heated leather seats. I can pay for parking. All things I could never imagine myself doing when I was younger.

I don't think people treat me differently, but I don't think people can readily tell our financial circumstances by how we live. Because we live in an actual middle class neighborhood, we don't spend extravagantly. It's just more comfortable to not stick out. Where we do splurge, it's in areas where our spending is more private. I really love fancy boutique hotels and have spent as much as 1,200/night. But I'd only share where we stayed with friends that also like and can afford luxury travel.

The one weird thing has come up recently in moving to a new nonprofit role where I took a substantial paycut. I work many people who make between 65-90K, and they regularly have talk about struggling to pay for basic/essential life expenses like housing (many are single moms), and I just have to keep quiet and listen. Our lifestyle often feels solidly middle class with the occasional splurge, but I realize from talking with my neighbors and co-workers that middle class life comes with a proximity to financial precarity that we don't experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mostly it feels like peace of mind.

For context, we are not absurdly rich like many of the people posting are claiming to be. Our HHI right now is around 250K, down from its peak at 375K. We have a lot saved in investments relative to our age (40), but our networth - including home equity - just crossed 1M this year. We've reached Coast FIRE and are on track to retire by 55.

We live in a middle class neighborhood (100K average HHI) because that's what felt normal to us when we bought right out of grad school when our incomes were much lower. Truthfully, we were too middle class to expect our incomes to increase so significantly over time. We used our high income to get rid of student loans, build robust emergency and retirement savings, save in brokerage accounts, and create wealth which gives us a lot of peace of mind.

I used to worry a lot about every little penny I spent (I literally kept a notebook where I tracked every expenditure), and now I don't worry about things that cost less than 1K because spending that much isn't going to impact my financial life. I don't worry about emergencies because most things aren't emergencies when you have the money to fix them.

After that, the biggest change has been realizing that, for many things, I can get precisely the thing that I want. Not the cheaper alternative, or the used version. I can actually buy the furniture I like and not just pin it on pinterest. I can buy a new car instead of a used car just because I want a specific interior/exterior color combo and the upgraded version with heated leather seats. I can pay for parking. All things I could never imagine myself doing when I was younger.

I don't think people treat me differently, but I don't think people can readily tell our financial circumstances by how we live. Because we live in an actual middle class neighborhood, we don't spend extravagantly. It's just more comfortable to not stick out. Where we do splurge, it's in areas where our spending is more private. I really love fancy boutique hotels and have spent as much as 1,200/night. But I'd only share where we stayed with friends that also like and can afford luxury travel.

The one weird thing has come up recently in moving to a new nonprofit role where I took a substantial paycut. I work many people who make between 65-90K, and they regularly have talk about struggling to pay for basic/essential life expenses like housing (many are single moms), and I just have to keep quiet and listen. Our lifestyle often feels solidly middle class with the occasional splurge, but I realize from talking with my neighbors and co-workers that middle class life comes with a proximity to financial precarity that we don't experience.

You are not even close to rich and do not belong on this thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mostly it feels like peace of mind.

For context, we are not absurdly rich like many of the people posting are claiming to be. Our HHI right now is around 250K, down from its peak at 375K. We have a lot saved in investments relative to our age (40), but our networth - including home equity - just crossed 1M this year. We've reached Coast FIRE and are on track to retire by 55.

We live in a middle class neighborhood (100K average HHI) because that's what felt normal to us when we bought right out of grad school when our incomes were much lower. Truthfully, we were too middle class to expect our incomes to increase so significantly over time. We used our high income to get rid of student loans, build robust emergency and retirement savings, save in brokerage accounts, and create wealth which gives us a lot of peace of mind.

I used to worry a lot about every little penny I spent (I literally kept a notebook where I tracked every expenditure), and now I don't worry about things that cost less than 1K because spending that much isn't going to impact my financial life. I don't worry about emergencies because most things aren't emergencies when you have the money to fix them.

After that, the biggest change has been realizing that, for many things, I can get precisely the thing that I want. Not the cheaper alternative, or the used version. I can actually buy the furniture I like and not just pin it on pinterest. I can buy a new car instead of a used car just because I want a specific interior/exterior color combo and the upgraded version with heated leather seats. I can pay for parking. All things I could never imagine myself doing when I was younger.

I don't think people treat me differently, but I don't think people can readily tell our financial circumstances by how we live. Because we live in an actual middle class neighborhood, we don't spend extravagantly. It's just more comfortable to not stick out. Where we do splurge, it's in areas where our spending is more private. I really love fancy boutique hotels and have spent as much as 1,200/night. But I'd only share where we stayed with friends that also like and can afford luxury travel.

The one weird thing has come up recently in moving to a new nonprofit role where I took a substantial paycut. I work many people who make between 65-90K, and they regularly have talk about struggling to pay for basic/essential life expenses like housing (many are single moms), and I just have to keep quiet and listen. Our lifestyle often feels solidly middle class with the occasional splurge, but I realize from talking with my neighbors and co-workers that middle class life comes with a proximity to financial precarity that we don't experience.

You are not even close to rich and do not belong on this thread

They’re somewhere between the 85th and 95th percentile for their age, which ain’t too shabby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We didn't become rich over night so we have grown into it. We maintain many of the habits of our MC life such as being frugal on many things but we travel first class and live very comfortably. We have lived in the same town for 30 years and we have maintained many of our early relationships though most of our friends have done quite well themselves. Also, all of my husbands siblings have done very well so there is no sibling resentment.

I wish I could spring for first class...I just can't get myself to spend the money. And we can afford it.

Yeah, same here. You think, I'm in the same big metal tube for the same amount of time and is the bigger chair you sit in for just 6 hours really worth an extre $1,400? And conversely, sitting in this crappy cramped chair for 6 hours I'm saving myself $1,400. Inner monologue: "Come on, snowflake, toughen up! You can find better use for that $1 400!" Then Group 6 is called and you wistfully walk past everyone in first class drinking mimosas to row 44 and have to jam your bag under the seat because the bins are full.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mostly it feels like peace of mind.

For context, we are not absurdly rich like many of the people posting are claiming to be. Our HHI right now is around 250K, down from its peak at 375K. We have a lot saved in investments relative to our age (40), but our networth - including home equity - just crossed 1M this year. We've reached Coast FIRE and are on track to retire by 55.

We live in a middle class neighborhood (100K average HHI) because that's what felt normal to us when we bought right out of grad school when our incomes were much lower. Truthfully, we were too middle class to expect our incomes to increase so significantly over time. We used our high income to get rid of student loans, build robust emergency and retirement savings, save in brokerage accounts, and create wealth which gives us a lot of peace of mind.

I used to worry a lot about every little penny I spent (I literally kept a notebook where I tracked every expenditure), and now I don't worry about things that cost less than 1K because spending that much isn't going to impact my financial life. I don't worry about emergencies because most things aren't emergencies when you have the money to fix them.

After that, the biggest change has been realizing that, for many things, I can get precisely the thing that I want. Not the cheaper alternative, or the used version. I can actually buy the furniture I like and not just pin it on pinterest. I can buy a new car instead of a used car just because I want a specific interior/exterior color combo and the upgraded version with heated leather seats. I can pay for parking. All things I could never imagine myself doing when I was younger.

I don't think people treat me differently, but I don't think people can readily tell our financial circumstances by how we live. Because we live in an actual middle class neighborhood, we don't spend extravagantly. It's just more comfortable to not stick out. Where we do splurge, it's in areas where our spending is more private. I really love fancy boutique hotels and have spent as much as 1,200/night. But I'd only share where we stayed with friends that also like and can afford luxury travel.

The one weird thing has come up recently in moving to a new nonprofit role where I took a substantial paycut. I work many people who make between 65-90K, and they regularly have talk about struggling to pay for basic/essential life expenses like housing (many are single moms), and I just have to keep quiet and listen. Our lifestyle often feels solidly middle class with the occasional splurge, but I realize from talking with my neighbors and co-workers that middle class life comes with a proximity to financial precarity that we don't experience.

You are not even close to rich and do not belong on this thread

They’re somewhere between the 85th and 95th percentile for their age, which ain’t too shabby.

Yeah. They're not rich. Just comfortable middle class but still with clear budget restrictions.

I do fine but have a sister who is genuinely wealthy ($25M vicinity). So I see the differences clearly. Our families have similar food and clothing but where we really diverge are in travel and renovations. We both go to Europe but they fly business automatically, will spend multiple tens of thousands on a single vacation while we're still in economy and book cheap and cheerful hotels. We put in a nice kitchen (for us) but the quality of their renovations is just on a different level altogether. They also have a second house and club memberships. And my sister has commented to me that she sees the difference between her family and those with $100M!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t change our lifestyle but does give peace of mind for retirement and any emergency that could come up. Also we can afford any college for our kids.

This is us. We still do not travel first class...though we could. I still shop sales at the grocery store. How else do you menu plan???

Why would you need to shop sales to menu plan? I just make what I want to make.

Pretty sure that PP was being a bit tongue-in-cheek. But I often plan meal prep around what is on sale in the weekly Harris Teeter circular, and purposely buy what is on sale. And I could buy everything in the store if I wanted to. Why do I do this? Because I feel like it. We eat really well, we aren't wanting for anything because I buy things when they are on sale. I learned this kind of frugality from grandparents who had more money than God, but didn't waste it. Midwestern values, and all that. How I grocery shop is about values, not just access to money. It's just how I was brought up to do things.

Frugality isn't a value. It's either a necessity or a character trait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mostly it feels like peace of mind.

For context, we are not absurdly rich like many of the people posting are claiming to be. Our HHI right now is around 250K, down from its peak at 375K. We have a lot saved in investments relative to our age (40), but our networth - including home equity - just crossed 1M this year. We've reached Coast FIRE and are on track to retire by 55.

We live in a middle class neighborhood (100K average HHI) because that's what felt normal to us when we bought right out of grad school when our incomes were much lower. Truthfully, we were too middle class to expect our incomes to increase so significantly over time. We used our high income to get rid of student loans, build robust emergency and retirement savings, save in brokerage accounts, and create wealth which gives us a lot of peace of mind.

I used to worry a lot about every little penny I spent (I literally kept a notebook where I tracked every expenditure), and now I don't worry about things that cost less than 1K because spending that much isn't going to impact my financial life. I don't worry about emergencies because most things aren't emergencies when you have the money to fix them.

After that, the biggest change has been realizing that, for many things, I can get precisely the thing that I want. Not the cheaper alternative, or the used version. I can actually buy the furniture I like and not just pin it on pinterest. I can buy a new car instead of a used car just because I want a specific interior/exterior color combo and the upgraded version with heated leather seats. I can pay for parking. All things I could never imagine myself doing when I was younger.

I don't think people treat me differently, but I don't think people can readily tell our financial circumstances by how we live. Because we live in an actual middle class neighborhood, we don't spend extravagantly. It's just more comfortable to not stick out. Where we do splurge, it's in areas where our spending is more private. I really love fancy boutique hotels and have spent as much as 1,200/night. But I'd only share where we stayed with friends that also like and can afford luxury travel.

The one weird thing has come up recently in moving to a new nonprofit role where I took a substantial paycut. I work many people who make between 65-90K, and they regularly have talk about struggling to pay for basic/essential life expenses like housing (many are single moms), and I just have to keep quiet and listen. Our lifestyle often feels solidly middle class with the occasional splurge, but I realize from talking with my neighbors and co-workers that middle class life comes with a proximity to financial precarity that we don't experience.

You are not even close to rich and do not belong on this thread

They’re somewhere between the 85th and 95th percentile for their age, which ain’t too shabby.

Baloney.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We didn't become rich over night so we have grown into it. We maintain many of the habits of our MC life such as being frugal on many things but we travel first class and live very comfortably. We have lived in the same town for 30 years and we have maintained many of our early relationships though most of our friends have done quite well themselves. Also, all of my husbands siblings have done very well so there is no sibling resentment.

I wish I could spring for first class...I just can't get myself to spend the money. And we can afford it.

Yeah, same here. You think, I'm in the same big metal tube for the same amount of time and is the bigger chair you sit in for just 6 hours really worth an extre $1,400? And conversely, sitting in this crappy cramped chair for 6 hours I'm saving myself $1,400. Inner monologue: "Come on, snowflake, toughen up! You can find better use for that $1 400!" Then Group 6 is called and you wistfully walk past everyone in first class drinking mimosas to row 44 and have to jam your bag under the seat because the bins are full.

Ugh yes and now I am dreading our redeye flight to Europe in a few weeks where we are taking our two adult kids. If it were just the two of us, I might have sprung for business, but alas, we cheaped out so we could all sit together as a family (with the exception of doing a direct flight). DH wanted me to get the two of us the business class and let them sit in economy.