Taking a Short Trip Just the Two of Us—Is That Okay?

[Anonymous]

I think it’s depend on your kids and their maturity.

My parents would be more than fine with me and my siblings at these ages.

I was the eldest of 4 kids youngest and I was 6 years apart. I flow international flights a lone at age 10 ( study aboard and come home by myself a couple times a year). By 14 parents are fine having me took younger siblings 8 and 10 in 26 hours flights 2 connections and pretty much took care of them when we were I. Foreign country the whole summer then.

My siblings are pretty easy going. They listened to me as well. So it worked very well for my parents.


In summary. It’s not extream to do what you wanted to do but depends a lot on your kids maturity and temperament.

[Anonymous]

Nothing wrong with taking a kid free trip. However not a chance I would leave my teens of those ages home alone for 6 days. I have mature, responsible and “good” kids the same ages for what it is worth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course there's nothing wrong with this, but I wouldn't leave them home unsupervised! Even if they are "good kids".

Yes, party central!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Super weird the way you’re focused on whether it’s wrong to get away from your kids, which is very common and lots of people do, but you’re ignoring the fact that you’d leave a 14 year old alone for almost a week and you think it’s fine.

Totally unrelated fun fact: my parents left me and my brother at home for 4-5 days when I was 17 and he was 15. Guess what happened! I had several friends and my boyfriend virtually living in my house those days AND lost my virginity to said boyfriend. And I was a very reliable good kid for the most part.

Is this a problem to you? It sounds like you survived to tell the tale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Super weird the way you’re focused on whether it’s wrong to get away from your kids, which is very common and lots of people do, but you’re ignoring the fact that you’d leave a 14 year old alone for almost a week and you think it’s fine.

Totally unrelated fun fact: my parents left me and my brother at home for 4-5 days when I was 17 and he was 15. Guess what happened! I had several friends and my boyfriend virtually living in my house those days AND lost my virginity to said boyfriend. And I was a very reliable good kid for the most part.

Is this a problem to you? It sounds like you survived to tell the tale.

That's a pretty low bar. If that's the parenting standard, I'm sure OP could leave the 14 year old alone for a month and it would be a success as long as they survived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Super weird the way you’re focused on whether it’s wrong to get away from your kids, which is very common and lots of people do, but you’re ignoring the fact that you’d leave a 14 year old alone for almost a week and you think it’s fine.

Totally unrelated fun fact: my parents left me and my brother at home for 4-5 days when I was 17 and he was 15. Guess what happened! I had several friends and my boyfriend virtually living in my house those days AND lost my virginity to said boyfriend. And I was a very reliable good kid for the most part.

Is this a problem to you? It sounds like you survived to tell the tale.

That's a pretty low bar. If that's the parenting standard, I'm sure OP could leave the 14 year old alone for a month and it would be a success as long as they survived.

What do you think your 14 year old is going to be doing 4 years from now in college?

You’ll probably have them living at home with you while attending college virtually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Super weird the way you’re focused on whether it’s wrong to get away from your kids, which is very common and lots of people do, but you’re ignoring the fact that you’d leave a 14 year old alone for almost a week and you think it’s fine.

Totally unrelated fun fact: my parents left me and my brother at home for 4-5 days when I was 17 and he was 15. Guess what happened! I had several friends and my boyfriend virtually living in my house those days AND lost my virginity to said boyfriend. And I was a very reliable good kid for the most part.

Is this a problem to you? It sounds like you survived to tell the tale.

That's a pretty low bar. If that's the parenting standard, I'm sure OP could leave the 14 year old alone for a month and it would be a success as long as they survived.

What do you think your 14 year old is going to be doing 4 years from now in college?

You’ll probably have them living at home with you while attending college virtually.

That's absurd logic. A lot of maturity happens between 14 and 18. I mean why do we bother parenting at all, babies will eventually be adults assuming they survive.

[Anonymous]

6 days is NOT a "short" trip. Several posters have mentioned this. You describing a week away from your children as "short" suggests to me that you are trying to convince yourself that this is OK, against your better judgment. A "short" trip would be a weekend, not a week.

Frankly, it sounds like you are either having marital issues or this is a second marriage. Or maybe one spouse is pressuring the other into taking this trip because s/he is feeling needy.

I know there are parents who do this kind of thing, but such behavior comes across to many fellow parents as irresponsible. If you are having marital issues find a better way to deal with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 18yo says she can handle it, and that we shouldn’t hire someone. Activities for my 14yo would be over by then, so they’d just be hanging out at home. The kids are generally responsible, and know what to do in case of a emergency, OP.

Literally everyone agreed (rare on DCUM) that you shouldn't do this. Yet here you are still making your case. 6 days is not a short trip, and it's also a long time to sit at home with no plans.

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Agree; that 6 days of no plans might sound nice as she is in the thick of the end of year school and other stuff. But 6 days of being stuck at home is going to get old after a day or two. I also think it's setting up a weird sibling dynamic; youngest is either going to get ignored or be annoying to the older ones...or both.

I'd do it for a MUCH shorter time and have some of it being fun, memorable the siblings can do together. We have a 14/almost 16 yo and DH and I may consider going away for a night or two during the school year late next year when there is not much downtime AND we'd have plenty of backup to check on them. When we go out on a standard date/activity we often set it up so our kids want to be together and they claim they bicker less without us around, but no way would 6 days work.

[Anonymous]

14 is the worst age to be doing this too. They are not mature yet but exposed to everything at that point.

Bad plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 18yo says she can handle it, and that we shouldn’t hire someone. Activities for my 14yo would be over by then, so they’d just be hanging out at home. The kids are generally responsible, and know what to do in case of an emergency, OP.

lol of course they say that! They want you gone to do whatever tf they want. You should try if for just 2 days first, that's a short trip.

[Anonymous]

I feel very sad for you that you are questioning this trip. I took my first out-of-town trip with DH when my oldest kid was 1 1/2. It was a long weekend away to the Bahamas, and it was just what we needed. We continued to do small trips regularly, every 2 to 3 years. My relationship with my spouse is a priority. My kids are now 21 and 26, and there was never a negative consequence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel very sad for you that you are questioning this trip. I took my first out-of-town trip with DH when my oldest kid was 1 1/2. It was a long weekend away to the Bahamas, and it was just what we needed. We continued to do small trips regularly, every 2 to 3 years. My relationship with my spouse is a priority. My kids are now 21 and 26, and there was never a negative consequence.

+1 - I’m shocked to see how many helicopter parents there are on this site.

[Anonymous]

Party time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel very sad for you that you are questioning this trip. I took my first out-of-town trip with DH when my oldest kid was 1 1/2. It was a long weekend away to the Bahamas, and it was just what we needed. We continued to do small trips regularly, every 2 to 3 years. My relationship with my spouse is a priority. My kids are now 21 and 26, and there was never a negative consequence.

Did you leave your 1.5yo alone? If not, your point is irrelevant. That's what everyone is reacting to, not the parents going away. And that of course teens are saying "just go, no babysitter" for obvious reasons.

Also OP has clearly made up her mind, no idea why she posted. Even saying "short" in the title re 6 days - contrast to your example of a long wknd.