Taking a Short Trip Just the Two of Us—Is That Okay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 18yo says she can handle it, and that we shouldn’t hire someone. Activities for my 14yo would be over by then, so they’d just be hanging out at home. The kids are generally responsible, and know what to do in case of a emergency, OP.

Literally everyone agreed (rare on DCUM) that you shouldn't do this. Yet here you are still making your case. 6 days is not a short trip, and it's also a long time to sit at home with no plans.

[Anonymous]

Agree with others that 6 days doesn’t qualify as a “short trip.” A long weekend would be more reasonable to **maybe** leave responsible children home alone at those ages.

Also, what is the plan in the event of an emergency? Will you be a short drive away or need to figure out flights back? Is there a trusted family member or close friend who could step in for the interim?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not wrong to want a trip just the two of you, but to me 6 days is a long time to leave them alone. The 18 year old ends up being responsible for the 14 year old, which is too much for almost a week. I'd probably be fine if it were just the 18 and 16 year olds, though even then it seems a bit long to me.

+1

[Anonymous]

We left our 15/17 year olds home for a weekend (they came home from school Friday and were already gone, we came back Sunday around 3). All went well and we would do it again. No guilt. But I do feel like 6 days would feel like a lot.

[Anonymous]

Your 14 year old is going to be home for 6 days with nothing to do unsupervised?

Nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 18yo says she can handle it, and that we shouldn’t hire someone. Activities for my 14yo would be over by then, so they’d just be hanging out at home. The kids are generally responsible, and know what to do in case of a emergency, OP.

I’m sure they are generally responsible when there are parents watching over them. This sounds like a disaster for 6 days.

[Anonymous]

I’m 18:00 from pg 1 and to clarify, I didn’t have parties or drink but had my BF stay over. I was a quiet responsible kid IRL. And yes, I had younger siblings who were disgusted with me and who didn’t tell on me. Looking back, I would not want my younger kids exposed to that so young now. That’s what you need to be worried about, things like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 18yo says she can handle it, and that we shouldn’t hire someone. Activities for my 14yo would be over by then, so they’d just be hanging out at home. The kids are generally responsible, and know what to do in case of an emergency, OP.

Yeah, sure. I agree with the other posters that this is a bad idea. I’m guessing deep down you do too. Why else would you crowdsource this?

[Anonymous]

“wrong” to want a trip without the kids

Want is not wrong.
DOING IT, that's wrong

[Anonymous]

Wanting it is fine;
Doing it is fine, IF you find someone to stay with the kids. Even if they are good kids who you trust and have never gotten into any trouble.

All it takes is one kid (your kid, one of their friends, one of your friends who says something to their spouse and their kid overhears it) knowing no parents are home for a week and it will spread like wildfire and your home will be trashed and your kids won't stand a chance. With SM, stuff like that gets out, it always does

[Anonymous]

Super weird the way you’re focused on whether it’s wrong to get away from your kids, which is very common and lots of people do, but you’re ignoring the fact that you’d leave a 14 year old alone for almost a week and you think it’s fine.

Totally unrelated fun fact: my parents left me and my brother at home for 4-5 days when I was 17 and he was 15. Guess what happened! I had several friends and my boyfriend virtually living in my house those days AND lost my virginity to said boyfriend. And I was a very reliable good kid for the most part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leaving a 14 year old with two other teens for a week is the crazy part of this. Not the trip generally.

I agree. I wouldn’t leave a 14 year old unless my 18 year old was already in college and incredibly trustworthy. I’d also make sure there is an adult nearby for emergencies. DS had an awful car accident this week (thankfully just suffered a concussion but the car is another story). There’s no way he could have navigated the situation without a trusted adult who could get him checked out, deal with insurance companies and have the car towed. He is an 18 year old who is super duper mature and responsible but emergencies happen even to the best kids.

[Anonymous]

Even if the 18 year old is generally trustworthy, as far as 18 year olds go, they’re not an adult or parent- they aren’t reliable enough to actively care for a 14 year old for a week. I mean care like feed, attend to, spend time with, entertain, make sure they go to bed at a decent hour. The 16 year old won’t do that either. So a 14 year old kid will maybe at least have other people in the house with them but no active caring for or parenting for a week. That’s nuts to me and every other mother in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are planning a six-day trip this August—just the two of us, no kids. Our teens are 18 (girl), 16 (boy), and 14 (girl), and we’ll be leaving them home alone for this length of time.

We also have a 16-day family trip planned in July, so we’ll be spending plenty of time together as a family.

I’ve been thinking: is it “wrong” to want a trip without the kids? We love our kids dearly, and they’re responsible and trustworthy—which is why we feel confident leaving them home.

I know it’s important to nurture our relationship as a couple too, and this seems like a healthy way to do it.

Has anyone else done something like this? How did it go for your family?

No.
Enjoy your trip

[Anonymous]

I think it’s absolutely nuts to do this.