How to break the habit of undressing for bowel movements for DS7

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do this and so do most of my friends.

First off, no one does #2 at work unless it is an emergency. Hold it until you get home.

Second, at home you strip naked because it is so much more comfortable.

Wut

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to make any assumptions about OP's son based only on what's written here, but do want to flag that undressing to use the bathroom is not an uncommon behavior for some autistic people.

Invariably someone describes any deviant behavior as autism in this forum. It's wild.

[Anonymous]

I did this until I was probably 12ish. Then I just randomly stopped doing it one day. I’m a woman. And honestly i’m not sure anyone in my family even knew I ever did this-I didn’t have anyone in the bathroom with me after potty training as far as I can remember.

Who cares? My youngest does this too (and I know cus he is still very young and still asks for help in the bathroom from time to time). I don’t care and neither should you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do this and so do most of my friends.

First off, no one does #2 at work unless it is an emergency. Hold it until you get home.

Second, at home you strip naked because it is so much more comfortable.

#2 is something that takes less than a minute or two. Why would you fully undress for comfort for this quick errand to the bathroom? If you are going to like half an hour, there is a gut issue that you need to talk to a doctor about.

Sometimes I'm doom scrolling and doing multiple BMs. I'll be there for ten plus minutes and I like to be comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For years I have tried to break this habit with my 7yo. His dad was a SAHD at one point and this was the day to day process. DH grew up undressing for #2, and just continued to do that well into adulthood.

DS7 still does this at school. I’ve tried to explain it could be a fire drill, the filthy floors, and of course that it’s just not allowed, everything imaginable but nothing has worked.

What worked for your child? There has to be something that will discourage this.

He undresses completely?Does you DH do the same?

[Anonymous]

Op here. For school it’s a timing issue now, the teacher says he’s taking too long to get himself dressed again. Any ideas?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. For school it’s a timing issue now, the teacher says he’s taking too long to get himself dressed again. Any ideas?

Yes, let the school handle it. Seriously. If he’d rather lose his recess or special or whatever to make up the work, because undressing to poop is more important, than let him.

I say this as an autistic and OCD woman who had to learn acceptable workarounds to my idiosyncrasies in order to function in the real world. Don’t hold him back.

[Anonymous]

Surely he isn’t bearing witness to your adult husband when he has a BM. Maybe it’s time your husband, the source of this issue, explains to your son that now that he’s in X grade next fall, he is no longer allowed to undress to poop. He’s too old, and it’s not allowed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do this and so do most of my friends.

First off, no one does #2 at work unless it is an emergency. Hold it until you get home.

Second, at home you strip naked because it is so much more comfortable.

You have a strange friend group

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do this and so do most of my friends.

First off, no one does #2 at work unless it is an emergency. Hold it until you get home.

Second, at home you strip naked because it is so much more comfortable.

LOL! How in tarnation would you know this about "most" of your friends!?

What a hoot!

Tell us more - what else do you discuss?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My nephew (not autistic) used to do this when he was little. For a while he even insisted on a shower every time.

That is very hygenic IMO.

In my Asian culture (and family), emptying the bowels is the first thing you do in the morning. This is according to traditional medical practices, because to eliminate toxins as soon as possible to keep the gut healthy. So, the children are trained to do that very early in their life.

And yes, many people will take a shower after every time they poop. You do not step out of your home to go to school or office without having pooped. The only time you will use a public toilet to poop is if you are travelling or have some kind of emergency. These customs were adopted due to climate, family and social structures, infrastructure, medical knowledge, elimination posture (sitting vs squatting), washing up practice (wiping with toilet paper vs washing with water), and importance of hygiene for wellness etc.

You can also check on AI about how Asian children (in many Asian countries) are trained to poop in the morning.

Also, undressing partially (removing underpants and pants), undressing completely or wearing dedicated clothing inside the bathroom - is also not unheard of - especially for kids or older generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. For school it’s a timing issue now, the teacher says he’s taking too long to get himself dressed again. Any ideas?

I'm not sure how she can determine what's too long. Anyway it sounds like this is less about the undressing and more about stalling.

Is he avoiding a certain part of class?

I would be careful pushing too hard on this as you don't want him to start withholding.

[Anonymous]

Get him on a new schedule over the summer. Give him a small cup of coffee and get him going before he heads out.

[Anonymous]

During the summer train him to have his bowel movements early in the morning. I am Asian and I trained my kids to empty before school, before their shower. He won't feel rushed then. It's a good practice. If this doesn't work, you can reiterate that taking off all his clothes when he goes #2 is unnecessary. But at the end of the day, it is his body and he gets to decide his comfort level with keeping his clothes on or off when he is in the privacy of a bathroom. His teacher will have to deal. I say this as a fellow teacher: we rush kids in school all day: eat your snack, finish the worksheet, hurry, hurry, hurry.