How to break the habit of undressing for bowel movements for DS7

[Anonymous]

For years I have tried to break this habit with my 7yo. His dad was a SAHD at one point and this was the day to day process. DH grew up undressing for #2, and just continued to do that well into adulthood.

DS7 still does this at school. I’ve tried to explain it could be a fire drill, the filthy floors, and of course that it’s just not allowed, everything imaginable but nothing has worked.

What worked for your child? There has to be something that will discourage this.

[Anonymous]

Um what? Like they get naked? Do they take socks off?

I cannot understand this. But whatever it is just teach them not to do it.

[Anonymous]

I don't want to make any assumptions about OP's son based only on what's written here, but do want to flag that undressing to use the bathroom is not an uncommon behavior for some autistic people.

[Anonymous]

This seems like a weird hill to die on to me. Just let the kid undress, who cares? Dirty floors? Tell him to hang his clothes. Plus, he's a 7 year old at school all day, he's hardly wearing pressed slacks. Fire drill? He'll have 30 seconds to throw his clothes back on. His dad does it (or did it), he does it, George Costanza does it. Who cares? You've been fighting this battle for years? Waste of time and energy. Just drop it.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Yes PPs. Fully undressed unfortunately.

DS is autistic (DH has never been diagnosed) but I did raise this to a friend who reported to me that her husband also does this.

I’m not someone who ever has but apparently it is more common than I assumed.

[Anonymous]

My sons never poop at school. I think they call it home game only or something.

[Anonymous]

Shirt too?

Is your DH from another culture?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For years I have tried to break this habit with my 7yo. His dad was a SAHD at one point and this was the day to day process. DH grew up undressing for #2, and just continued to do that well into adulthood.

DS7 still does this at school. I’ve tried to explain it could be a fire drill, the filthy floors, and of course that it’s just not allowed, everything imaginable but nothing has worked.

What worked for your child? There has to be something that will discourage this.

Did you discover this about DH before or after you married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Yes PPs. Fully undressed unfortunately.

DS is autistic (DH has never been diagnosed) but I did raise this to a friend who reported to me that her husband also does this.

I’m not someone who ever has but apparently it is more common than I assumed.

You might want to work with a therapist on this issue. We have a family friend who is autistic--known her since she was a baby--and she struggled with this exact behavior when she was a child. I think her therapist really helped her and her parents on this issue. I do remember that this behavior caused her mother some anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Yes PPs. Fully undressed unfortunately.

DS is autistic (DH has never been diagnosed) but I did raise this to a friend who reported to me that her husband also does this.

I’m not someone who ever has but apparently it is more common than I assumed.

This makes sense. DH is probably on the spectrum as well. I agree with the other poster, not a hill to die on and there's a good chance of it self-correcting at some point, at least for when they aren't at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For years I have tried to break this habit with my 7yo. His dad was a SAHD at one point and this was the day to day process. DH grew up undressing for #2, and just continued to do that well into adulthood.

DS7 still does this at school. I’ve tried to explain it could be a fire drill, the filthy floors, and of course that it’s just not allowed, everything imaginable but nothing has worked.

What worked for your child? There has to be something that will discourage this.

Did you discover this about DH before or after you married?

After 😭I never inquired and also never was in the bathroom with him to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Yes PPs. Fully undressed unfortunately.

DS is autistic (DH has never been diagnosed) but I did raise this to a friend who reported to me that her husband also does this.

I’m not someone who ever has but apparently it is more common than I assumed.

You might want to work with a therapist on this issue. We have a family friend who is autistic--known her since she was a baby--and she struggled with this exact behavior when she was a child. I think her therapist really helped her and her parents on this issue. I do remember that this behavior caused her mother some anxiety.

Thank you - I wasn’t sure if it was therapy worthy or something that kids grow out of but it does bother me more than it should right now.

[Anonymous]

My kid used to do this but was corrected by cousins and family friends (in a joking and kind way). She learned quickly and now never does it.

I think it helped that her cousins/family friends were a couple years older, because it made her take their feedback more seriously than ours. One of her cousins was like "what are you doing? you don't have to take your whole dress off, you just lift it up like this" and that was that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Yes PPs. Fully undressed unfortunately.

DS is autistic (DH has never been diagnosed) but I did raise this to a friend who reported to me that her husband also does this.

I’m not someone who ever has but apparently it is more common than I assumed.

This makes sense. DH is probably on the spectrum as well. I agree with the other poster, not a hill to die on and there's a good chance of it self-correcting at some point, at least for when they aren't at home.

Perhaps this is what's really bugging you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This seems like a weird hill to die on to me. Just let the kid undress, who cares? Dirty floors? Tell him to hang his clothes. Plus, he's a 7 year old at school all day, he's hardly wearing pressed slacks. Fire drill? He'll have 30 seconds to throw his clothes back on. His dad does it (or did it), he does it, George Costanza does it. Who cares? You've been fighting this battle for years? Waste of time and energy. Just drop it.

+1. My DS learned this from a kid at his preschool. I was just glad he was able to do a good job cleaning himself after a BM. He is in his 30s and I don'f know if he still does it this way. As long as he closes the door, who cares?