Convincing my son to do ECs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Er... unless you're the particularly forward-thinking parent of an elementary schooler, your question makes me think it's already too late for your kid, OP.

Your child should have been diligently pursuing a couple of interests outside of school since middle school. Colleges don't care what the activity is, they care about commitment, dedication, and reaching a high level of proficiency after years of effort. They're not interested in students who just sign up for a wide array of clubs in high school and then don't develop their interest in any other way.

When I mean years of effort, I'm talking about development in sports and music specifically. It takes so much time to be good at these things! You can win science competitions or develop great writing skills and be a yearbook editor with a couple of years of intense prep. But you can't plonk yourself down with a violin in 9th grade and expect to be musical, or be among the first at track without years of muscular exercise.

Ask your kid what they're interested in and orient them to pursuits they can realistically do in the short time they have.

My kid does play two sports at the varsity level and was selected at the district level for their instrument. I don't feel like that is sufficient.

Those ARE extra-curriculars. Why did you lie?

I didn't lie. I was hoping he would pursue more academic ECs. There are conflicting messages on all the boards about how sports are/are not valued. Most of dcum threads say sports don't count for anything. So I didn't count them. Music is done at school so I don't consider that EC.

Did you ask for activities "that counted"? No. You asked for activities, because supposedly your child was not persuaded that they mattered - even though he's doing them as we speak! Pants on fire, OP.

Whether or not you "count" an activity has less to do with what it is than how good your child is at that activity - don't you understand that?

Why are you all so nasty to people who are obviously new to all of this. "Don't you understand that?" is so obnoxious. No, that is not obvious to people who are new to the college application scene.

You're not new to the scene. You cite DCUM and have obviously read up on the subject. I do not appreciate that you deliberately misled us in your original post, OP. That's disrespectful.

Op. I did not write the above, but where did I say he did no ECs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only like 40 colleges care about ECs. It doesn’t sound like your kid is destined for one, so don’t get so worked up about it.

A bit harsh, but true. If you have to push your kid into it OP, it is not worth it. There are plenty of good schools in the top 50-60 that do not care too much about ECs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Er... unless you're the particularly forward-thinking parent of an elementary schooler, your question makes me think it's already too late for your kid, OP.

Your child should have been diligently pursuing a couple of interests outside of school since middle school. Colleges don't care what the activity is, they care about commitment, dedication, and reaching a high level of proficiency after years of effort. They're not interested in students who just sign up for a wide array of clubs in high school and then don't develop their interest in any other way.

When I mean years of effort, I'm talking about development in sports and music specifically. It takes so much time to be good at these things! You can win science competitions or develop great writing skills and be a yearbook editor with a couple of years of intense prep. But you can't plonk yourself down with a violin in 9th grade and expect to be musical, or be among the first at track without years of muscular exercise.

Ask your kid what they're interested in and orient them to pursuits they can realistically do in the short time they have.

My kid does play two sports at the varsity level and was selected at the district level for their instrument. I don't feel like that is sufficient.

Those ARE extra-curriculars. Why did you lie?

I didn't lie. I was hoping he would pursue more academic ECs. There are conflicting messages on all the boards about how sports are/are not valued. Most of dcum threads say sports don't count for anything. So I didn't count them. Music is done at school so I don't consider that EC.

Did you ask for activities "that counted"? No. You asked for activities, because supposedly your child was not persuaded that they mattered - even though he's doing them as we speak! Pants on fire, OP.

Whether or not you "count" an activity has less to do with what it is than how good your child is at that activity - don't you understand that?

Why are you all so nasty to people who are obviously new to all of this. "Don't you understand that?" is so obnoxious. No, that is not obvious to people who are new to the college application scene.

You're not new to the scene. You cite DCUM and have obviously read up on the subject. I do not appreciate that you deliberately misled us in your original post, OP. That's disrespectful.

Op. I did not write the above, but where did I say he did no ECs?

It was implied when you pretended that your child could not understand why he needed to do ECs. It appeared to mean they weren't doing any. Your tone was pretty urgent too. You completely misrepresented the situation.

I'm not inclined to help you at all. Next time pay attention to how you describe your issue.

[Anonymous]

if you have to force your dc to do things outside of school, he is not t20 material

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Er... unless you're the particularly forward-thinking parent of an elementary schooler, your question makes me think it's already too late for your kid, OP.

Your child should have been diligently pursuing a couple of interests outside of school since middle school. Colleges don't care what the activity is, they care about commitment, dedication, and reaching a high level of proficiency after years of effort. They're not interested in students who just sign up for a wide array of clubs in high school and then don't develop their interest in any other way.

When I mean years of effort, I'm talking about development in sports and music specifically. It takes so much time to be good at these things! You can win science competitions or develop great writing skills and be a yearbook editor with a couple of years of intense prep. But you can't plonk yourself down with a violin in 9th grade and expect to be musical, or be among the first at track without years of muscular exercise.

Ask your kid what they're interested in and orient them to pursuits they can realistically do in the short time they have.

My kid does play two sports at the varsity level and was selected at the district level for their instrument. I don't feel like that is sufficient.

You’ve got to be kidding me. Those are good ECs. You made it sound like he had none. You sound intense.

Agree, I fell for it too and thought the OP had no EC'S. An instrument and sport is just fine for most of the T30 and flagships such as UVA, Michigan. The only schools that want deep, impactful EC's on top of that are T20/ivy types. Your kid 100% will not fit in at those from what you wrote. Almost all who are there did not need to be told to find something to care about and make a difference. You underestimate today's highest achieving high schoolers if you think moms and dads pushed most of them. Most who get in (unhooked) have highly tuned motivation and discipline from a young age, well beyond the average high school graduate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Er... unless you're the particularly forward-thinking parent of an elementary schooler, your question makes me think it's already too late for your kid, OP.

Your child should have been diligently pursuing a couple of interests outside of school since middle school. Colleges don't care what the activity is, they care about commitment, dedication, and reaching a high level of proficiency after years of effort. They're not interested in students who just sign up for a wide array of clubs in high school and then don't develop their interest in any other way.

When I mean years of effort, I'm talking about development in sports and music specifically. It takes so much time to be good at these things! You can win science competitions or develop great writing skills and be a yearbook editor with a couple of years of intense prep. But you can't plonk yourself down with a violin in 9th grade and expect to be musical, or be among the first at track without years of muscular exercise.

Ask your kid what they're interested in and orient them to pursuits they can realistically do in the short time they have.

My kid does play two sports at the varsity level and was selected at the district level for their instrument. I don't feel like that is sufficient.

You’ve got to be kidding me. Those are good ECs. You made it sound like he had none. You sound intense.

Agree, I fell for it too and thought the OP had no EC'S. An instrument and sport is just fine for most of the T30 and flagships such as UVA, Michigan. The only schools that want deep, impactful EC's on top of that are T20/ivy types. Your kid 100% will not fit in at those from what you wrote. Almost all who are there did not need to be told to find something to care about and make a difference. You underestimate today's highest achieving high schoolers if you think moms and dads pushed most of them. Most who get in (unhooked) have highly tuned motivation and discipline from a young age, well beyond the average high school graduate.

This is very helpful, thank you!

[Anonymous]

I encouraged my adhd kid to lean onto their areas of strength and aptitude. They pursued an area of performing arts and an academic area of strength very deeply. I knew what they enjoyed and found great opportunities that fit their interests...often requiring auditions and applications - and they did it bc it was exciting, challenging and interesting for them. I made suggestions and found opportunities but never forced my kid to do anything. It helped that my kid liked new experiences and it also helped that they were surrounded by other highly motivated kids so pursuing ECs was normalized. My kid is now at a top school and I am pretty sure their ECs helped them stand out and got them in. And they are still happily doing those same EC in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Er... unless you're the particularly forward-thinking parent of an elementary schooler, your question makes me think it's already too late for your kid, OP.

"Unless you're way too early, it's already too late"

??? There exists a point between those two where this is appropritate.

And there are more ECs than sports and music.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Er... unless you're the particularly forward-thinking parent of an elementary schooler, your question makes me think it's already too late for your kid, OP.

Your child should have been diligently pursuing a couple of interests outside of school since middle school. Colleges don't care what the activity is, they care about commitment, dedication, and reaching a high level of proficiency after years of effort. They're not interested in students who just sign up for a wide array of clubs in high school and then don't develop their interest in any other way.

When I mean years of effort, I'm talking about development in sports and music specifically. It takes so much time to be good at these things! You can win science competitions or develop great writing skills and be a yearbook editor with a couple of years of intense prep. But you can't plonk yourself down with a violin in 9th grade and expect to be musical, or be among the first at track without years of muscular exercise.

Ask your kid what they're interested in and orient them to pursuits they can realistically do in the short time they have.

My kid does play two sports at the varsity level and was selected at the district level for their instrument. I don't feel like that is sufficient.

Those ARE extra-curriculars. Why did you lie?

I didn't lie. I was hoping he would pursue more academic ECs. There are conflicting messages on all the boards about how sports are/are not valued. Most of dcum threads say sports don't count for anything. So I didn't count them. Music is done at school so I don't consider that EC.

Did you ask for activities "that counted"? No. You asked for activities, because supposedly your child was not persuaded that they mattered - even though he's doing them as we speak! Pants on fire, OP.

Whether or not you "count" an activity has less to do with what it is than how good your child is at that activity - don't you understand that?

Why are you all so nasty to people who are obviously new to all of this. "Don't you understand that?" is so obnoxious. No, that is not obvious to people who are new to the college application scene.

You're not new to the scene. You cite DCUM and have obviously read up on the subject. I do not appreciate that you deliberately misled us in your original post, OP. That's disrespectful.

This is so dramatic.

[Anonymous]

Mine only did one EC was accepted everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Before grade and test score inflation, colleges didn’t care so much about ECs..

[Anonymous]

I have one kid who was an EC superstar and another who mostly just played sports ( not at recruitable level.) They were aiming for different kinds of schools but kid #2 still got into all 6 New England state flagships with nice merit money everywhere. Be realistic about who your kid is at this stage in life, forcing EC’s for college is a losing strategy. But helping them find things they like to do to keep life in balance and meet like minded people is important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Er... unless you're the particularly forward-thinking parent of an elementary schooler, your question makes me think it's already too late for your kid, OP.

Your child should have been diligently pursuing a couple of interests outside of school since middle school. Colleges don't care what the activity is, they care about commitment, dedication, and reaching a high level of proficiency after years of effort. They're not interested in students who just sign up for a wide array of clubs in high school and then don't develop their interest in any other way.

When I mean years of effort, I'm talking about development in sports and music specifically. It takes so much time to be good at these things! You can win science competitions or develop great writing skills and be a yearbook editor with a couple of years of intense prep. But you can't plonk yourself down with a violin in 9th grade and expect to be musical, or be among the first at track without years of muscular exercise.

Ask your kid what they're interested in and orient them to pursuits they can realistically do in the short time they have.

My kid does play two sports at the varsity level and was selected at the district level for their instrument. I don't feel like that is sufficient.

You’ve got to be kidding me. Those are good ECs. You made it sound like he had none. You sound intense.

+1– those are also time consuming. 2 sports?? Instrument?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only like 40 colleges care about ECs. It doesn’t sound like your kid is destined for one, so don’t get so worked up about it.

Rude! Feeling good about yourself now?

I honestly don’t think OP is somehow now trying to get her kid to do ECs to get into one of these schools…but thinks all colleges expect it.

Trying to clear up the misconception.

Op. 1. I'm not ruling my kid out for top 50 yet. 2. Is it really that only t50 care about ECs?! I find that hard to believe.

Nothing special. Just regular extracurriculars.
Outside the top 50, your GPA, test score, recommendations and essays are probably 90%+ of the admissions calculus

Any school with greater than 50% admission rate is probably not looking any deeper than that

At about 20% admission rate or lower, you start to need a little bit more because you have probably come close to maxxing out the other stuff

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Er... unless you're the particularly forward-thinking parent of an elementary schooler, your question makes me think it's already too late for your kid, OP.

Your child should have been diligently pursuing a couple of interests outside of school since middle school. Colleges don't care what the activity is, they care about commitment, dedication, and reaching a high level of proficiency after years of effort. They're not interested in students who just sign up for a wide array of clubs in high school and then don't develop their interest in any other way.

When I mean years of effort, I'm talking about development in sports and music specifically. It takes so much time to be good at these things! You can win science competitions or develop great writing skills and be a yearbook editor with a couple of years of intense prep. But you can't plonk yourself down with a violin in 9th grade and expect to be musical, or be among the first at track without years of muscular exercise.

Ask your kid what they're interested in and orient them to pursuits they can realistically do in the short time they have.

My kid does play two sports at the varsity level and was selected at the district level for their instrument. I don't feel like that is sufficient.

For most state schools, this is sufficient.

If they were spending all their time doomscrolling or playing video games, I would worry if they were college ready but that is a lot actually. if you added eagle scout to that, they would be fully booked for a T50-100 school I think.