Convincing my son to do ECs!

[Anonymous]

My ADHD kid had a part time job and did one club at school. So pretty minimal. 3.9 UW 4.7 W 34 ACT got into multiple east cost state flagships ranked in 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Er... unless you're the particularly forward-thinking parent of an elementary schooler, your question makes me think it's already too late for your kid, OP.

Your child should have been diligently pursuing a couple of interests outside of school since middle school. Colleges don't care what the activity is, they care about commitment, dedication, and reaching a high level of proficiency after years of effort. They're not interested in students who just sign up for a wide array of clubs in high school and then don't develop their interest in any other way.

When I mean years of effort, I'm talking about development in sports and music specifically. It takes so much time to be good at these things! You can win science competitions or develop great writing skills and be a yearbook editor with a couple of years of intense prep. But you can't plonk yourself down with a violin in 9th grade and expect to be musical, or be among the first at track without years of muscular exercise.

Ask your kid what they're interested in and orient them to pursuits they can realistically do in the short time they have.

My kid does play two sports at the varsity level and was selected at the district level for their instrument. I don't feel like that is sufficient.

Those ARE extra-curriculars. Why did you lie?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The purpose of ECs is to fill time in ways that enrich your life, teach you skills, or serve the community. Doing them for college is silly,

What does he do with all his spare time? If he doesn’t want to join a club/team/etc, he can get a job. Working at chick fil a fills the same box on the application as playing soccer.

Exactly. I told my kids the same thing. They each had to do one out of school activity minimum. Either they could pick (which was my preference) or I would sign them up for something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you willing to help? My son has not yet grasped the role ECs play in college acceptance. Would be willing to share what your kids did for ECs and the college they got into? His ADHD brain thinks he can push this off to later, but he really can't!

Leave your son alone. You are the worst kind of “try hard” parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Er... unless you're the particularly forward-thinking parent of an elementary schooler, your question makes me think it's already too late for your kid, OP.

Your child should have been diligently pursuing a couple of interests outside of school since middle school. Colleges don't care what the activity is, they care about commitment, dedication, and reaching a high level of proficiency after years of effort. They're not interested in students who just sign up for a wide array of clubs in high school and then don't develop their interest in any other way.

When I mean years of effort, I'm talking about development in sports and music specifically. It takes so much time to be good at these things! You can win science competitions or develop great writing skills and be a yearbook editor with a couple of years of intense prep. But you can't plonk yourself down with a violin in 9th grade and expect to be musical, or be among the first at track without years of muscular exercise.

Ask your kid what they're interested in and orient them to pursuits they can realistically do in the short time they have.

My kid does play two sports at the varsity level and was selected at the district level for their instrument. I don't feel like that is sufficient.

Those ARE extra-curriculars. Why did you lie?

I didn't lie. I was hoping he would pursue more academic ECs. There are conflicting messages on all the boards about how sports are/are not valued. Most of dcum threads say sports don't count for anything. So I didn't count them. Music is done at school so I don't consider that EC.

[Anonymous]

I wasted a lot of time worrying about this when DD was in HS. The lack of ECs didn’t seeem to hurt her. She was accepted everywhere she applied. Did she apply to Ivies or similar? Nope. But she was very happy with her options. She ended up at UMD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only like 40 colleges care about ECs. It doesn’t sound like your kid is destined for one, so don’t get so worked up about it.

Rude! Feeling good about yourself now?

I honestly don’t think OP is somehow now trying to get her kid to do ECs to get into one of these schools…but thinks all colleges expect it.

Trying to clear up the misconception.

Op. 1. I'm not ruling my kid out for top 50 yet. 2. Is it really that only t50 care about ECs?! I find that hard to believe.

It’s true. Once you get past basically the top 40 it’s grades, test scores and some rigor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Er... unless you're the particularly forward-thinking parent of an elementary schooler, your question makes me think it's already too late for your kid, OP.

Your child should have been diligently pursuing a couple of interests outside of school since middle school. Colleges don't care what the activity is, they care about commitment, dedication, and reaching a high level of proficiency after years of effort. They're not interested in students who just sign up for a wide array of clubs in high school and then don't develop their interest in any other way.

When I mean years of effort, I'm talking about development in sports and music specifically. It takes so much time to be good at these things! You can win science competitions or develop great writing skills and be a yearbook editor with a couple of years of intense prep. But you can't plonk yourself down with a violin in 9th grade and expect to be musical, or be among the first at track without years of muscular exercise.

Ask your kid what they're interested in and orient them to pursuits they can realistically do in the short time they have.

My kid does play two sports at the varsity level and was selected at the district level for their instrument. I don't feel like that is sufficient.

You’ve got to be kidding me. Those are good ECs. You made it sound like he had none. You sound intense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only like 40 colleges care about ECs. It doesn’t sound like your kid is destined for one, so don’t get so worked up about it.

Rude! Feeling good about yourself now?

I honestly don’t think OP is somehow now trying to get her kid to do ECs to get into one of these schools…but thinks all colleges expect it.

Trying to clear up the misconception.

Op. 1. I'm not ruling my kid out for top 50 yet. 2. Is it really that only t50 care about ECs?! I find that hard to believe.

It’s true. Once you get past basically the top 40 it’s grades, test scores and some rigor.

This is an extremely eye opening. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

For top 40 or 50, it's helpful to have ECs that tie into the child's intended major. Something that shows why they want to pursue that field, beyond 'I want to make gobs of money'. Some of these schools also look at what impact you have made in your community, either through your interests or volunteering. For the rest, there is no need to gin up interest, because they basically don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Er... unless you're the particularly forward-thinking parent of an elementary schooler, your question makes me think it's already too late for your kid, OP.

Your child should have been diligently pursuing a couple of interests outside of school since middle school. Colleges don't care what the activity is, they care about commitment, dedication, and reaching a high level of proficiency after years of effort. They're not interested in students who just sign up for a wide array of clubs in high school and then don't develop their interest in any other way.

When I mean years of effort, I'm talking about development in sports and music specifically. It takes so much time to be good at these things! You can win science competitions or develop great writing skills and be a yearbook editor with a couple of years of intense prep. But you can't plonk yourself down with a violin in 9th grade and expect to be musical, or be among the first at track without years of muscular exercise.

Ask your kid what they're interested in and orient them to pursuits they can realistically do in the short time they have.

My kid does play two sports at the varsity level and was selected at the district level for their instrument. I don't feel like that is sufficient.

Those ARE extra-curriculars. Why did you lie?

I didn't lie. I was hoping he would pursue more academic ECs. There are conflicting messages on all the boards about how sports are/are not valued. Most of dcum threads say sports don't count for anything. So I didn't count them. Music is done at school so I don't consider that EC.

You lied by omission. When listed on college apps, all that stuff goes in the extra-curriculars. School music included, since he was selected at the district level. Don't claim you didn't know this. You just wanted to exaggerate your son's plight to get more help.

Also, it's not that sports are not valued (if anything, they're way overvalued compared to Model UN or chess). It's that you need a high degree of skill to stand out, since a lot of kids play team sports. Ultimately what matters is standing out in whatever activity your child does, in a measurable way. Colleges need verification of achievement, which is why they defer to gpa, test scores, competition wins, letters of recommendation, anything that a legitimate third party can vouch for. Pick activities in consequences: babysitting, dog walking... they never count, because there's no one credible to certify those activities occurred and were done at a high level. Being employed at the same chain job year after year shows that the kid can survive in the real workforce and is appreciated enough to be rehired every summer, for ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The purpose of ECs is to fill time in ways that enrich your life, teach you skills, or serve the community. Doing them for college is silly,

What does he do with all his spare time? If he doesn’t want to join a club/team/etc, he can get a job. Working at chick fil a fills the same box on the application as playing soccer.

This. It really should be about fun and friendship for probably 95% of kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Er... unless you're the particularly forward-thinking parent of an elementary schooler, your question makes me think it's already too late for your kid, OP.

Your child should have been diligently pursuing a couple of interests outside of school since middle school. Colleges don't care what the activity is, they care about commitment, dedication, and reaching a high level of proficiency after years of effort. They're not interested in students who just sign up for a wide array of clubs in high school and then don't develop their interest in any other way.

When I mean years of effort, I'm talking about development in sports and music specifically. It takes so much time to be good at these things! You can win science competitions or develop great writing skills and be a yearbook editor with a couple of years of intense prep. But you can't plonk yourself down with a violin in 9th grade and expect to be musical, or be among the first at track without years of muscular exercise.

Ask your kid what they're interested in and orient them to pursuits they can realistically do in the short time they have.

My kid does play two sports at the varsity level and was selected at the district level for their instrument. I don't feel like that is sufficient.

Those ARE extra-curriculars. Why did you lie?

I didn't lie. I was hoping he would pursue more academic ECs. There are conflicting messages on all the boards about how sports are/are not valued. Most of dcum threads say sports don't count for anything. So I didn't count them. Music is done at school so I don't consider that EC.

Did you ask for activities "that counted"? No. You asked for activities, because supposedly your child was not persuaded that they mattered - even though he's doing them as we speak! Pants on fire, OP.

Whether or not you "count" an activity has less to do with what it is than how good your child is at that activity - don't you understand that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Er... unless you're the particularly forward-thinking parent of an elementary schooler, your question makes me think it's already too late for your kid, OP.

Your child should have been diligently pursuing a couple of interests outside of school since middle school. Colleges don't care what the activity is, they care about commitment, dedication, and reaching a high level of proficiency after years of effort. They're not interested in students who just sign up for a wide array of clubs in high school and then don't develop their interest in any other way.

When I mean years of effort, I'm talking about development in sports and music specifically. It takes so much time to be good at these things! You can win science competitions or develop great writing skills and be a yearbook editor with a couple of years of intense prep. But you can't plonk yourself down with a violin in 9th grade and expect to be musical, or be among the first at track without years of muscular exercise.

Ask your kid what they're interested in and orient them to pursuits they can realistically do in the short time they have.

My kid does play two sports at the varsity level and was selected at the district level for their instrument. I don't feel like that is sufficient.

Those ARE extra-curriculars. Why did you lie?

I didn't lie. I was hoping he would pursue more academic ECs. There are conflicting messages on all the boards about how sports are/are not valued. Most of dcum threads say sports don't count for anything. So I didn't count them. Music is done at school so I don't consider that EC.

Did you ask for activities "that counted"? No. You asked for activities, because supposedly your child was not persuaded that they mattered - even though he's doing them as we speak! Pants on fire, OP.

Whether or not you "count" an activity has less to do with what it is than how good your child is at that activity - don't you understand that?

Why are you all so nasty to people who are obviously new to all of this. "Don't you understand that?" is so obnoxious. No, that is not obvious to people who are new to the college application scene.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Er... unless you're the particularly forward-thinking parent of an elementary schooler, your question makes me think it's already too late for your kid, OP.

Your child should have been diligently pursuing a couple of interests outside of school since middle school. Colleges don't care what the activity is, they care about commitment, dedication, and reaching a high level of proficiency after years of effort. They're not interested in students who just sign up for a wide array of clubs in high school and then don't develop their interest in any other way.

When I mean years of effort, I'm talking about development in sports and music specifically. It takes so much time to be good at these things! You can win science competitions or develop great writing skills and be a yearbook editor with a couple of years of intense prep. But you can't plonk yourself down with a violin in 9th grade and expect to be musical, or be among the first at track without years of muscular exercise.

Ask your kid what they're interested in and orient them to pursuits they can realistically do in the short time they have.

My kid does play two sports at the varsity level and was selected at the district level for their instrument. I don't feel like that is sufficient.

Those ARE extra-curriculars. Why did you lie?

I didn't lie. I was hoping he would pursue more academic ECs. There are conflicting messages on all the boards about how sports are/are not valued. Most of dcum threads say sports don't count for anything. So I didn't count them. Music is done at school so I don't consider that EC.

Did you ask for activities "that counted"? No. You asked for activities, because supposedly your child was not persuaded that they mattered - even though he's doing them as we speak! Pants on fire, OP.

Whether or not you "count" an activity has less to do with what it is than how good your child is at that activity - don't you understand that?

Why are you all so nasty to people who are obviously new to all of this. "Don't you understand that?" is so obnoxious. No, that is not obvious to people who are new to the college application scene.

You're not new to the scene. You cite DCUM and have obviously read up on the subject. I do not appreciate that you deliberately misled us in your original post, OP. That's disrespectful.