Keeping girls in sports

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My varsity athlete followed a different path than everyone else on the thread I think. Played mostly rec and all-stars / select, but took lessons to specialize in a position. That kept it fun but not intense. But she had friends who followed the same path and definitely hit the drop-out point, so I don't think her path is a guarantee of anything. Having multiple daughters I have seen over and over again that sometimes early specialization really works for a girl. Sometimes it really doesn't. Sometimes kids will bounce to a new sport even in high school. Sometimes kids will act like they aren't interested and yet keep playing. There are SO many variables.

I think the biggest things is: know your own daughter, make sure being active and involved in sport is a team value, and support her taking things the direction she wants to take them (with a little pushing on follow-through where needed, but again know your kid).

So are you saying that your kids only played one or two sports their whole lives?

We did a little dabbling in the preschool years but other than a year of swim she picked softball only at 8, her choice.

Look I'm not saying it is the right answer. I'm saying it was right for her.

Why would anyone have a problem with that?

[Anonymous]

Our dds - 12 and 14 - do various rec sports. They are not amazing athletes, but they enjoy it, and there a range of players on their teams. People on here are quick to say there's no "middle ground" between club and rec- maybe the rec kids won't be making varsity, but rec absolutely is the middle ground IMO between playing at an intense level and not playing. The vast majority of kids are there because they want to be there, but they or their parents don't want the intensity. But many kids (and parents, as we see on this very thread) get caught up in the competitive culture we have and don't want to be in the "open for all" pool.

[Anonymous]

I think kids should try a lot of stuff when they are young and then stick with something they like. Around here, the problem is that high school sports are too competitive -so kids with interest may not have a spot on the high school team and rec teams thin out around then too. I think developing an interest in a more life long sport can be important - running/walking/golf/swimming. Also, college can provide opportunities to try new things - crew, ultimate frisbee, intramural sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have this same question but for boys! It seems like if your kid plays soccer as a kindergartner on a mini-kicks style rec team, and has fun, and is good at it, the expectation is to have him in competitive U8 travel ball by second grade, and if you opt out of that, all that's left of the rec program by age 7 or 8 is the kids who have never played soccer before, or the kids without much athletic talent or much desire to play, since all of the moderately athletic kids who enjoy sports have moved on to a travel team. there seems to be zero middle ground between training for 6 hours a week, and kicking the ball around without a purpose with kids who don't want to be there. at age 7.

I’m with you. But my 11 year old son and his friend just started playing rec soccer. Neither are any good but they REALLY want to be there and spend hours practicing at both houses. It warms my heart to see how hard they are working. But yes, all the good players moved on years ago which is so weird.
When I was a kid I aged out of my rec sport at 13. I was good enough for a travel team but my parents noped out when they saw the cost (they could afford it but chose not to). So there’s another reason for kids quitting at that age, though it might make no sense to the DCUM crowd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our dds - 12 and 14 - do various rec sports. They are not amazing athletes, but they enjoy it, and there a range of players on their teams. People on here are quick to say there's no "middle ground" between club and rec- maybe the rec kids won't be making varsity, but rec absolutely is the middle ground IMO between playing at an intense level and not playing. The vast majority of kids are there because they want to be there, but they or their parents don't want the intensity. But many kids (and parents, as we see on this very thread) get caught up in the competitive culture we have and don't want to be in the "open for all" pool.

My niece started occasionally playing basketball in 4th grade, no summer programs, no outside practice. She played all four years in high school. First year Jr Varsity, the next three years Varsity. She is 5’10”, that helped, but you still need skill.

There are kids in rec programs that will play varsity. Talent is talent. They would be the ones whose parents like that they have an activity but aren’t going to change their schedules to go club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our dds - 12 and 14 - do various rec sports. They are not amazing athletes, but they enjoy it, and there a range of players on their teams. People on here are quick to say there's no "middle ground" between club and rec- maybe the rec kids won't be making varsity, but rec absolutely is the middle ground IMO between playing at an intense level and not playing. The vast majority of kids are there because they want to be there, but they or their parents don't want the intensity. But many kids (and parents, as we see on this very thread) get caught up in the competitive culture we have and don't want to be in the "open for all" pool.

My niece started occasionally playing basketball in 4th grade, no summer programs, no outside practice. She played all four years in high school. First year Jr Varsity, the next three years Varsity. She is 5’10”, that helped, but you still need skill.

There are kids in rec programs that will play varsity. Talent is talent. They would be the ones whose parents like that they have an activity but aren’t going to change their schedules to go club.

In the case of basketball (and volleyball), it's more like height is height. High school coaches pick a medium-skilled 5'10 player over a highly skilled 5'2 player 99 times out of 100.

[Anonymous]

My kids did tennis and swim since about 6 and we just consistently stuck with it year after year. They were in swim team from 10-14 and started doing tennis tournaments around 10 too. Their swim team was super relaxed and you pick the meets you want to participate in. Same with tennis- it’s individual so we got to decide when and where to do tournaments. They dropped swim in high school (hard no to early morning practice) but stuck with tennis. It’s a great sport and the most fun to watch as a parent IMO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids did tennis and swim since about 6 and we just consistently stuck with it year after year. They were in swim team from 10-14 and started doing tennis tournaments around 10 too. Their swim team was super relaxed and you pick the meets you want to participate in. Same with tennis- it’s individual so we got to decide when and where to do tournaments. They dropped swim in high school (hard no to early morning practice) but stuck with tennis. It’s a great sport and the most fun to watch as a parent IMO

Tennis is a great, lifelong sport, especially for women. And it's nice that you can pick and choose which tournaments to play in, and if you choose to travel, you get to pick your own hotel and are not subject to stay-and-play policies like in team sports. This makes me want to get my daughter back in tennis. She's still young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids did tennis and swim since about 6 and we just consistently stuck with it year after year. They were in swim team from 10-14 and started doing tennis tournaments around 10 too. Their swim team was super relaxed and you pick the meets you want to participate in. Same with tennis- it’s individual so we got to decide when and where to do tournaments. They dropped swim in high school (hard no to early morning practice) but stuck with tennis. It’s a great sport and the most fun to watch as a parent IMO

Tennis is a great, lifelong sport, especially for women. And it's nice that you can pick and choose which tournaments to play in, and if you choose to travel, you get to pick your own hotel and are not subject to stay-and-play policies like in team sports. This makes me want to get my daughter back in tennis. She's still young.

My DD plays golf and its similar. I like that we can pick when we want to travel for tournaments and have the flexibility to keep certain weekends free as needed. I know that we'll have less flexibility if she continues to play when shes older but for a 10 year old it works out perfectly.

[Anonymous]

The options basically are:

(1) go “all in” with travel/specialization at an early age
(2) forgo all of that and just plan to join no-cut or less popular sports in middle & high school (track, cross country, wrestling, or a new sport being offered that needs players etc). Or play outside of school sports- like martial arts, rock climbing etc.
(3) play many sports at a rec level over the years & make the tail end of the high school roster…the travel kids can’t possibly take up ALL the roster spots can they?
(4) pay for a small private school where sports are (more or less) no-cut and/or move to an area with a smaller high school where it easier to make teams

Option 3 above is what a lot of parents hope for, I think. But- there will only be so many spots available. A lot of times those spots will go to kids who have certain physical attributes (like the 5’10” girl starting basketball late, or the 6’3” left handed pitcher who has only ever played rec baseball etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our dds - 12 and 14 - do various rec sports. They are not amazing athletes, but they enjoy it, and there a range of players on their teams. People on here are quick to say there's no "middle ground" between club and rec- maybe the rec kids won't be making varsity, but rec absolutely is the middle ground IMO between playing at an intense level and not playing. The vast majority of kids are there because they want to be there, but they or their parents don't want the intensity. But many kids (and parents, as we see on this very thread) get caught up in the competitive culture we have and don't want to be in the "open for all" pool.

My niece started occasionally playing basketball in 4th grade, no summer programs, no outside practice. She played all four years in high school. First year Jr Varsity, the next three years Varsity. She is 5’10”, that helped, but you still need skill.

There are kids in rec programs that will play varsity. Talent is talent. They would be the ones whose parents like that they have an activity but aren’t going to change their schedules to go club.

In the case of basketball (and volleyball), it's more like height is height. High school coaches pick a medium-skilled 5'10 player over a highly skilled 5'2 player 99 times out of 100.

This. My friend who played basketball in high school but not college was just asked to walk on to a college volleyball team without every playing before. She was athletic and tall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our dds - 12 and 14 - do various rec sports. They are not amazing athletes, but they enjoy it, and there a range of players on their teams. People on here are quick to say there's no "middle ground" between club and rec- maybe the rec kids won't be making varsity, but rec absolutely is the middle ground IMO between playing at an intense level and not playing. The vast majority of kids are there because they want to be there, but they or their parents don't want the intensity. But many kids (and parents, as we see on this very thread) get caught up in the competitive culture we have and don't want to be in the "open for all" pool.

My niece started occasionally playing basketball in 4th grade, no summer programs, no outside practice. She played all four years in high school. First year Jr Varsity, the next three years Varsity. She is 5’10”, that helped, but you still need skill.

There are kids in rec programs that will play varsity. Talent is talent. They would be the ones whose parents like that they have an activity but aren’t going to change their schedules to go club.

Depends on the school, the sport, and the kid. There are high school players in our rec league (yes, I have a kid playing rec in high school) on varsity. We're a somewhat less in demand sport. But there are also girls who out of rec probably won't make varsity because they are at one of the big schools, or the schools where there's a huge concentration of club players vying for those varsity spots.

Though I will say - if you care about your kid getting to play a high school sport, maybe don't sign her up for U4 soccer, rec volleyball in 4th grade, or basketball. Try something with big rosters and less interest .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The options basically are:

(1) go “all in” with travel/specialization at an early age
(2) forgo all of that and just plan to join no-cut or less popular sports in middle & high school (track, cross country, wrestling, or a new sport being offered that needs players etc). Or play outside of school sports- like martial arts, rock climbing etc.
(3) play many sports at a rec level over the years & make the tail end of the high school roster…the travel kids can’t possibly take up ALL the roster spots can they?
(4) pay for a small private school where sports are (more or less) no-cut and/or move to an area with a smaller high school where it easier to make teams

Option 3 above is what a lot of parents hope for, I think. But- there will only be so many spots available. A lot of times those spots will go to kids who have certain physical attributes (like the 5’10” girl starting basketball late, or the 6’3” left handed pitcher who has only ever played rec baseball etc).

Option 3 exists for less competitive sports at many high schools I can think of off the top of my head. Baseball, basketball, soccer, girls volleyball? Probably not. But lots of other things. If you care that much, just do less popular sports at the rec level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The options basically are:

(1) go “all in” with travel/specialization at an early age
(2) forgo all of that and just plan to join no-cut or less popular sports in middle & high school (track, cross country, wrestling, or a new sport being offered that needs players etc). Or play outside of school sports- like martial arts, rock climbing etc.
(3) play many sports at a rec level over the years & make the tail end of the high school roster…the travel kids can’t possibly take up ALL the roster spots can they?
(4) pay for a small private school where sports are (more or less) no-cut and/or move to an area with a smaller high school where it easier to make teams

Option 3 above is what a lot of parents hope for, I think. But- there will only be so many spots available. A lot of times those spots will go to kids who have certain physical attributes (like the 5’10” girl starting basketball late, or the 6’3” left handed pitcher who has only ever played rec baseball etc).

Option 3 exists for less competitive sports at many high schools I can think of off the top of my head. Baseball, basketball, soccer, girls volleyball? Probably not. But lots of other things. If you care that much, just do less popular sports at the rec level.

At my kids’ (large suburban UMC) high school, the only less popular options for girls would be track and cross country (and they may not get to compete at meets).

For boys, football and wrestling (in addition to track and cross country) take everyone. Though, not everyone will get playing time in games or wrestle at meets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our dds - 12 and 14 - do various rec sports. They are not amazing athletes, but they enjoy it, and there a range of players on their teams. People on here are quick to say there's no "middle ground" between club and rec- maybe the rec kids won't be making varsity, but rec absolutely is the middle ground IMO between playing at an intense level and not playing. The vast majority of kids are there because they want to be there, but they or their parents don't want the intensity. But many kids (and parents, as we see on this very thread) get caught up in the competitive culture we have and don't want to be in the "open for all" pool.

My niece started occasionally playing basketball in 4th grade, no summer programs, no outside practice. She played all four years in high school. First year Jr Varsity, the next three years Varsity. She is 5’10”, that helped, but you still need skill.

There are kids in rec programs that will play varsity. Talent is talent. They would be the ones whose parents like that they have an activity but aren’t going to change their schedules to go club.

In the case of basketball (and volleyball), it's more like height is height. High school coaches pick a medium-skilled 5'10 player over a highly skilled 5'2 player 99 times out of 100.

This. My friend who played basketball in high school but not college was just asked to walk on to a college volleyball team without every playing before. She was athletic and tall.

That’s kind of kewl