Name regret and changing a child’s name?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not trying to be rude here, but how do people find themselves in this situation? If you had a routine healthy pregnancy and found out that you were pregnant at the typical time, then you had many months to choose a name. You didn’t start feeling like this name wasn’t so great in all of those months?

I’m wondering this too. Is it because you chose a trendy name? Caved to the spouse? I don’t get it. I’ve never felt this even for an instant. But we chose very classic names. I only have two kids, but even if I had needed to name 10 kids I had a list a mile long of classic names I would have been happy to name my child. My kids are teenagers now and I still love not only their names, but all the other names we considered using back then.

I can only speak for myself because I don’t know the OP’s situation. My husband was set on a really awful, trendy preppy name for our son (Brooks) and wouldn’t consider anything else. He told his parents that this was going to be our son’s name before it was even agreed upon. I was heavily pregnant and didn’t feel like debating him over it so just gave in.

That’s where my baby name regret stems from.

I know a Brooks in his 90’s and another one in his 30’s (not related to one another.) I don’t think this name is trendy or fleeting. Preppy, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not trying to be rude here, but how do people find themselves in this situation? If you had a routine healthy pregnancy and found out that you were pregnant at the typical time, then you had many months to choose a name. You didn’t start feeling like this name wasn’t so great in all of those months?

I’m wondering this too. Is it because you chose a trendy name? Caved to the spouse? I don’t get it. I’ve never felt this even for an instant. But we chose very classic names. I only have two kids, but even if I had needed to name 10 kids I had a list a mile long of classic names I would have been happy to name my child. My kids are teenagers now and I still love not only their names, but all the other names we considered using back then.

I can only speak for myself because I don’t know the OP’s situation. My husband was set on a really awful, trendy preppy name for our son (Brooks) and wouldn’t consider anything else. He told his parents that this was going to be our son’s name before it was even agreed upon. I was heavily pregnant and didn’t feel like debating him over it so just gave in.

That’s where my baby name regret stems from.

Somewhat similar situation. I don't hate the name but the process of choosing it was incredibly frustrating, with my husband just deciding independently that it was the baby's name and nothing I said could convince him to consider another name. I had a difficult pregnancy and no other support at the time, and I just didn't have anymore fight in me.

The name suits our child and is not a terrible name (which is why I won't say what it is) but I just didn't feel like I was able to participate in choosing my own child's name. It's the process that makes me feel regret, more than the name itself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not trying to be rude here, but how do people find themselves in this situation? If you had a routine healthy pregnancy and found out that you were pregnant at the typical time, then you had many months to choose a name. You didn’t start feeling like this name wasn’t so great in all of those months?

I’m wondering this too. Is it because you chose a trendy name? Caved to the spouse? I don’t get it. I’ve never felt this even for an instant. But we chose very classic names. I only have two kids, but even if I had needed to name 10 kids I had a list a mile long of classic names I would have been happy to name my child. My kids are teenagers now and I still love not only their names, but all the other names we considered using back then.

I can only speak for myself because I don’t know the OP’s situation. My husband was set on a really awful, trendy preppy name for our son (Brooks) and wouldn’t consider anything else. He told his parents that this was going to be our son’s name before it was even agreed upon. I was heavily pregnant and didn’t feel like debating him over it so just gave in.

That’s where my baby name regret stems from.

Somewhat similar situation. I don't hate the name but the process of choosing it was incredibly frustrating, with my husband just deciding independently that it was the baby's name and nothing I said could convince him to consider another name. I had a difficult pregnancy and no other support at the time, and I just didn't have anymore fight in me.

The name suits our child and is not a terrible name (which is why I won't say what it is) but I just didn't feel like I was able to participate in choosing my own child's name. It's the process that makes me feel regret, more than the name itself.

I can totally understand that! I was sort of the opposite with our second child, and acted more like your DH. First child was easy, easy consensus on a classic name we both loved. Second child was a different gender and I had a favorite name, that was also classic, and matched the first child's name well, and I had always imagined having a child with this name. I even had a dream about it. When we found out the gender, I told DH I had a name in mind that I loved and told him. He immediately vetoed. Like, not even a "hmmm let me think about that one", just a flat out "nope. I really don't like that name". I was devestated in the way that only a hormonal pregnant mom can be! Anyways, we compromised on a different name, and it suits our child, but I still feel regret and resentment about how this decades long dream of having a child with his name was casually "nope-d" by my husband as soon as I brought it up!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not trying to be rude here, but how do people find themselves in this situation? If you had a routine healthy pregnancy and found out that you were pregnant at the typical time, then you had many months to choose a name. You didn’t start feeling like this name wasn’t so great in all of those months?

Hormones sometimes make people crazy. My friend, while pregnant, was considering naming her daughter Sylvia. SYLVIA. She is normally a reasonable person. Thank god we all rallied when the baby was born and kept her from filling out the birth certificate until she came to her senses and realized what an awful thing it would be to name a baby in 2023 Sylvia, and decided on a much more reasonable name.

I know multiple girls who go by Sylvie who are under age 8 or so. What a weird thing to protest. It's a classic name.

So is Myrtle but some names just don’t age well. It’s something to do with the V sound that makes in unattractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not trying to be rude here, but how do people find themselves in this situation? If you had a routine healthy pregnancy and found out that you were pregnant at the typical time, then you had many months to choose a name. You didn’t start feeling like this name wasn’t so great in all of those months?

Sometimes the name doesn't feel right after the baby is born. Far better to change a name than to always think about how much you don't like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not trying to be rude here, but how do people find themselves in this situation? If you had a routine healthy pregnancy and found out that you were pregnant at the typical time, then you had many months to choose a name. You didn’t start feeling like this name wasn’t so great in all of those months?

I’m wondering this too. Is it because you chose a trendy name? Caved to the spouse? I don’t get it. I’ve never felt this even for an instant. But we chose very classic names. I only have two kids, but even if I had needed to name 10 kids I had a list a mile long of classic names I would have been happy to name my child. My kids are teenagers now and I still love not only their names, but all the other names we considered using back then.

I can only speak for myself because I don’t know the OP’s situation. My husband was set on a really awful, trendy preppy name for our son (Brooks) and wouldn’t consider anything else. He told his parents that this was going to be our son’s name before it was even agreed upon. I was heavily pregnant and didn’t feel like debating him over it so just gave in.

That’s where my baby name regret stems from.

This is extra valid. Brooks is a bad name. It’s up there with Brock and Preston when it comes to screaming douchey frat bro trust fund baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not trying to be rude here, but how do people find themselves in this situation? If you had a routine healthy pregnancy and found out that you were pregnant at the typical time, then you had many months to choose a name. You didn’t start feeling like this name wasn’t so great in all of those months?

I’m wondering this too. Is it because you chose a trendy name? Caved to the spouse? I don’t get it. I’ve never felt this even for an instant. But we chose very classic names. I only have two kids, but even if I had needed to name 10 kids I had a list a mile long of classic names I would have been happy to name my child. My kids are teenagers now and I still love not only their names, but all the other names we considered using back then.

I can only speak for myself because I don’t know the OP’s situation. My husband was set on a really awful, trendy preppy name for our son (Brooks) and wouldn’t consider anything else. He told his parents that this was going to be our son’s name before it was even agreed upon. I was heavily pregnant and didn’t feel like debating him over it so just gave in.

That’s where my baby name regret stems from.

Somewhat similar situation. I don't hate the name but the process of choosing it was incredibly frustrating, with my husband just deciding independently that it was the baby's name and nothing I said could convince him to consider another name. I had a difficult pregnancy and no other support at the time, and I just didn't have anymore fight in me.

The name suits our child and is not a terrible name (which is why I won't say what it is) but I just didn't feel like I was able to participate in choosing my own child's name. It's the process that makes me feel regret, more than the name itself.

People freak out at the slightest suggestion that a woman wants even a little more say in choosing a baby’s first name, but it seems like completely controlling the entire naming process is a common theme with husbands and nobody bats an eyelid, wow. Moms are expected to compromise, but dads are allowed to completely ignore the other parent’s wishes. I would be furious. Hugs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP. DH and I decided on a name before baby was born. Now that our child is here, we realize what a mistake we made. We’re both (DH even more so than me) regretting the name. We tried to give it some time to see if our thoughts would change, but they haven’t. I just know we’re going to get pushback from family if we say that we’re legally changing it.

Your family might push back, but they'll get on board. They'll have no choice. Take a few days or a a week at home, just you and DH, and try the name you really think is best. Hopefully it helps you decide. Go from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not trying to be rude here, but how do people find themselves in this situation? If you had a routine healthy pregnancy and found out that you were pregnant at the typical time, then you had many months to choose a name. You didn’t start feeling like this name wasn’t so great in all of those months?

Hormones sometimes make people crazy. My friend, while pregnant, was considering naming her daughter Sylvia. SYLVIA. She is normally a reasonable person. Thank god we all rallied when the baby was born and kept her from filling out the birth certificate until she came to her senses and realized what an awful thing it would be to name a baby in 2023 Sylvia, and decided on a much more reasonable name.

I know multiple girls who go by Sylvie who are under age 8 or so. What a weird thing to protest. It's a classic name.

So is Myrtle but some names just don’t age well. It’s something to do with the V sound that makes in unattractive.

You're entitled to your own opinion, but I think Sylvia is lovely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not trying to be rude here, but how do people find themselves in this situation? If you had a routine healthy pregnancy and found out that you were pregnant at the typical time, then you had many months to choose a name. You didn’t start feeling like this name wasn’t so great in all of those months?

I’m wondering this too. Is it because you chose a trendy name? Caved to the spouse? I don’t get it. I’ve never felt this even for an instant. But we chose very classic names. I only have two kids, but even if I had needed to name 10 kids I had a list a mile long of classic names I would have been happy to name my child. My kids are teenagers now and I still love not only their names, but all the other names we considered using back then.

I can only speak for myself because I don’t know the OP’s situation. My husband was set on a really awful, trendy preppy name for our son (Brooks) and wouldn’t consider anything else. He told his parents that this was going to be our son’s name before it was even agreed upon. I was heavily pregnant and didn’t feel like debating him over it so just gave in.

That’s where my baby name regret stems from.

Somewhat similar situation. I don't hate the name but the process of choosing it was incredibly frustrating, with my husband just deciding independently that it was the baby's name and nothing I said could convince him to consider another name. I had a difficult pregnancy and no other support at the time, and I just didn't have anymore fight in me.

The name suits our child and is not a terrible name (which is why I won't say what it is) but I just didn't feel like I was able to participate in choosing my own child's name. It's the process that makes me feel regret, more than the name itself.

People freak out at the slightest suggestion that a woman wants even a little more say in choosing a baby’s first name, but it seems like completely controlling the entire naming process is a common theme with husbands and nobody bats an eyelid, wow. Moms are expected to compromise, but dads are allowed to completely ignore the other parent’s wishes. I would be furious. Hugs!

Um, what? These are the first times I'm hearing of husbands bullying their wives into names EXCEPT for the one person I know whose child is a 5th. And honestly, she probably should have known going in that if she had a male child, he'd have to be a 5th.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not trying to be rude here, but how do people find themselves in this situation? If you had a routine healthy pregnancy and found out that you were pregnant at the typical time, then you had many months to choose a name. You didn’t start feeling like this name wasn’t so great in all of those months?

Hormones sometimes make people crazy. My friend, while pregnant, was considering naming her daughter Sylvia. SYLVIA. She is normally a reasonable person. Thank god we all rallied when the baby was born and kept her from filling out the birth certificate until she came to her senses and realized what an awful thing it would be to name a baby in 2023 Sylvia, and decided on a much more reasonable name.

I know two Sylvias and a Sylvie under age 10, it's very consistent with all the other common names going around. It's better than some of the other old lady names I've come across on little kids, actually. And much better than a super trendy name like Bexley or Havensleigh or something.

I love the name Sylvie. Also wondering why Sophia is generally accepted as a reasonable name but Sylvia isn't?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not trying to be rude here, but how do people find themselves in this situation? If you had a routine healthy pregnancy and found out that you were pregnant at the typical time, then you had many months to choose a name. You didn’t start feeling like this name wasn’t so great in all of those months?

Hormones sometimes make people crazy. My friend, while pregnant, was considering naming her daughter Sylvia. SYLVIA. She is normally a reasonable person. Thank god we all rallied when the baby was born and kept her from filling out the birth certificate until she came to her senses and realized what an awful thing it would be to name a baby in 2023 Sylvia, and decided on a much more reasonable name.

I know multiple girls who go by Sylvie who are under age 8 or so. What a weird thing to protest. It's a classic name.

So is Myrtle but some names just don’t age well. It’s something to do with the V sound that makes in unattractive.

And yet Olivia is a very popular name.

[Anonymous]

I don’t regret any of my kids’ names, but my 12 year old has asked me multiple times over the last few months to change her name from Nicole to Scarlett. I have no idea where Scarlett came from (I have a suspicion that it has something to do with her favorite color being red), but it’s “the prettiest name ever” according to her. We’re going to see if this feeling passes because I think a lot of kids dislike their name at some point. I know I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you change your baby/child’s first name if both you and your spouse were experiencing major name regret? What would you say is the maximum age limit in which it is still socially acceptable to change a child’s name?

How bad is the name? Is it because of undesirable consequences for him or is it a personal issue for you?

[Anonymous]

I know an Arab guy whose name was Osama, his parents changed it when they moved to Canada. He was born before 9/11 and named after his grandfather but it was inevitable that he would receive social backlash for something he had no say in. They changed it to Omar, which is a popular name across all Abrahamic religions.