DD 15 NEVER helps around the house

[Anonymous]

Chore chart this summer. Daily and weekly assignments and when the chores must be done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I taught them to be decent?

We have 2 kids and they were both taught to be helpful and aware of other people's needs. One is thoughtful, and helps without being asked, the other doesn't lift a finger unless asked/told to do a very specific thing, and even then, sometimes won't.

Nature/nurture, you can't make a person be what they are not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you mean your daughter doesn’t listen to your DH either?

OP here. No, should’ve clarified! I meant that DH also doesn’t really help around the house 😂 send help! I’m going crazy over here!

[Anonymous]

take away her phone

[Anonymous]

OP- do you work? If so, your husband better help out at home or you have bigger issues than a direspectful teen.

[Anonymous]

Get rid of DH and the kid should be out of the house at 18 or right after high school. Problem solved.
This is what I did. The kid is self-sufficient and help out fine at their new home.

[Anonymous]

sounds like a you problem.

if kid doesn't want to help or listen, then they lose privileges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does she have headphones? Accidentally throw those away while you are doing all the cleaning

Accidentally.. no. Take them out of her ears, take her phone, and she earns them back after a few weeks with ongoing chores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are not initiators and will never offer their help unless asked, except for fun cooking things that they like to do. But when I DO ask, they do it, because they're nice kids. I think you need to have a sit down with your daughter and explain that everyone needs to contribute because everyone lives in the same house and benefits from the work of others. You can start taking away devices, etc, if she does not understand this.

This, but take away natural consequences like her access to the things that other people are putting effort into.

I always give them a heads up - though they will help in the moment, both much prefer to know a day or two ahead of time so they feel ready for it. We're having x for dinner on Sunday, I might need your help with blank and blank, or i'm going to the grocery store, when I when you hear the garage door opening, I'd like you to come help me carry and put away groceries, or this weekend is cleaning jobs, and remind them once or twice. That helps a lot with their mood about it. And just being up front that nobody loves doing this and they just might not be as motivated as you or care as much as you but this is just part of having a nice home environment and being in a family where we can feel like a team and mutually enjoy the effort we put into our life.

[Anonymous]

Parent her - take away the headphones. It’s not hard. Stop trying to be their friend - you are not their friend. Who cares if they get mad?

[Anonymous]

oh my goodness, my DD Cheryl would NEVER do that!!

[Anonymous]

Oh how sad, you didn’t parent before? Better start now. If my daughter pulled that she would wake up to find her phone and tablet and laptop gone, and the WiFi password changed.