Ignoring Non Work Related Texts on Weekends

[Anonymous]

Don’t right that you’re glad his issue was not serious. Kidney stone is a painful even though not life threatening.

Just respond - if you’re sure they don’t actually see when you get the messages. Apps like WhatsApp show when the message was delivered / read:

Hey, got all texts. @Billy glad you’re OK. Hope you feel better soon!

Or you could just respond “just back in town. Glad Billy you’re feeling better! Get well soon”.

Then mute the thread over the weekends.

[Anonymous]

“I’m glad to hear X is doing ok now. As I noted on (day), I was unavailable this weekend in an area with little to no cell service.”

That’s all I’d say, OP. Your work has no boundaries though. Sounds like either you set up firm boundaries (and possibly get fired from doing this since it seems like that part of the work culture), or you put up the bare minimum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're having trouble showing compassion, either because you're naturally cold-hearted, or because you cannot deal with that much communication with colleagues.

You *should* have sent 1 text of support/commiseration about the medical issue. That's what a normal human being does.

But you didn't, because you're just so done with these people.

Your manager chided you because I'm guessing you never show compassion and never answer. So the one time you actually have a good excuse for not replying... happens to be the time your manager has had it up to there with your lack of social skills.

You're part of a chummy workforce, and honestly, you need to deal with it by giving them a modicum of chumminess back. Otherwise you're so obviously going to look like a weirdo!

No, don't report to HR. Try to send ONE text whenever there's a thread.

You are free to change jobs and try to find a workplace where they're all distant and uncaring like you.

Shawna from bookkeeping has entered the chat after divorcing her 3rd husband.

[Anonymous]

You write Kevin Monday morning and say "I'm sorry to hear about your health issue over the weekend, I hope you are feeling better now." because that is what a kind person does.

You do NOT respond to your boss unless s/he brings it up to you during your annual performance review.

[Anonymous]

Grow up.

Tell your boss you won’t answer texts immediately unless you are paid on call pay.

[Anonymous]

“You write Kevin Monday morning and say "I'm sorry to hear about your health issue over the weekend, I hope you are feeling better now." because that is what a kind person does.”

I agree with this. I don’t fault your coworkers for the text flurry if that’s their thing, but the boss’s message was totally inappropriate. I would definitely not offer an excuse or reminder for why you were unavailable this weekend, because that implies that normally you would be available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Respond Monday morning to your manager , “I was on vacation with my husband and had my phone muted. I assumed anything that needed my urgent attention , I would get a phone call. I sent Kevin an individual text this morning wishing him a speedy recovery. For future, I want to let you be aware that when I am off on the weekends, unless there is an urgent matter, I won’t be available to my coworkers. If I’m expected to take call on the weekends and be available , let’s have a sit down with HR and detail what is expected of me on the weekends so there can be clear expectations on both ends”

Ugh no. This is so unnecessarily wordy. And cringe.

[Anonymous]

In general, I am not a fan of group texts. Too much LOLs and praying hands with zero content. Who started this text chain? The patient? Anyone having chest pains shouldn’t be texting people on their team while sitting in the ER—too thirsty for me. Since you don’t want to look like an unfeeling jerk, I would acknowledge the patient and wish them good health.

[Anonymous]

Your issue is less about texts and more about bad leadership and team dynamics, IMO. That doesn't get solved by drawing a line in the sand regarding under what circumstances you'll accept texts.

If you've been there 6 years, it sounds like you're tied to the job. I'd chalk this up as one of those minor annoyances and go touch grass when it really rubs you wrong.

In the meantime, reply to the group only:

"Sorry, was offline this weekend. Sorry to hear about the stone, but glad it's not the heart!"

And leave it at that. Don't even reply to the boss. They're a tool.

[Anonymous]

I'd continue to ignore the whole thing. I can't stand people that bring their personal life into the lives of colleagues. I don't want to know about your kidney stones, your run away dog or your wife's menopause. Leave us out of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My colleagues have my personal cell phone number. They have abused it since day one 6 years ago when I started. They routinely text me about non-critical work issues after hours and expect responses whether it be 5 am on a Sunday or 10 pm on a Tuesday.

This weekend one of our temamtes was admitted to Georgetown Hospital with severe chest pain. There were, I sh*t you not, 37 texts between 8 people expressing immediate concern and offers to help with their kids, dogs, meals etc.

Early this morning the 'patient' revealed that it was a ...... kidney stone.

Not even 15 minutes later, my manager (who is in the work group text) sent me a side text expressing 'dissapointment' that I had yet to chime in.

My wife and I had actaully taken a rare weekend away in a cabin by Charlottesville. My tean not only knew this, but I warned them that I might be unreachable as cell service is spotty down there.

Point being- they don't know whether I received these texts or not. So my manager's text is so out of line I'm having trouble containing my anger

I'm torn between playing dumb and texting back this afternoon "Hey, just back to reality and I got all these texts. Happy to hear Bill's issue wasnt serious!"

or

Texting my manager back alone and demanding a meeting with her boss first thing as this is clear cut harassment and invasion of privacy.

Your vote?

But no one knew it was a kidney stone initially, right? Seems like a normal caring person thing to discuss that with colleagues over the weekend. You should have chimed in early and then just been done with it. Not saying they should use your personal cell all the time, but in this case, it seems reasonable. You should just say you had your notifications silenced and just now seeing this. Deal with the inappropriate work texts another time when it's about something else.

[Anonymous]

Update OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My colleagues have my personal cell phone number. They have abused it since day one 6 years ago when I started. They routinely text me about non-critical work issues after hours and expect responses whether it be 5 am on a Sunday or 10 pm on a Tuesday.

This weekend one of our temamtes was admitted to Georgetown Hospital with severe chest pain. There were, I sh*t you not, 37 texts between 8 people expressing immediate concern and offers to help with their kids, dogs, meals etc.

Early this morning the 'patient' revealed that it was a ...... kidney stone.

Not even 15 minutes later, my manager (who is in the work group text) sent me a side text expressing 'dissapointment' that I had yet to chime in.

My wife and I had actaully taken a rare weekend away in a cabin by Charlottesville. My tean not only knew this, but I warned them that I might be unreachable as cell service is spotty down there.

Point being- they don't know whether I received these texts or not. So my manager's text is so out of line I'm having trouble containing my anger

I'm torn between playing dumb and texting back this afternoon "Hey, just back to reality and I got all these texts. Happy to hear Bill's issue wasnt serious!"

or

Texting my manager back alone and demanding a meeting with her boss first thing as this is clear cut harassment and invasion of privacy.

Your vote?

But no one knew it was a kidney stone initially, right? Seems like a normal caring person thing to discuss that with colleagues over the weekend. You should have chimed in early and then just been done with it. Not saying they should use your personal cell all the time, but in this case, it seems reasonable. You should just say you had your notifications silenced and just now seeing this. Deal with the inappropriate work texts another time when it's about something else.

No one knew it wasn't a heart attack or embolism either. People don't have to share every moment of their lives, OK?

I have gout that gives me a bad flare every year or so that literally cripples me and makes me bed ridden on opiates for 3 or 4 days. I don't share all that. I just send a work email out telling people I'm sick and will be working from home for a few days.

[Anonymous]

The Head of HR called me on the weekend to let me know our CEO died of a Heart Attack unexpectedly, I reported to him.

Did not know I was supposed to charge OT or ignore call as a weekend.

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine why anyone would tell work colleagues they were heading to the ER over the weekend??? Is this a thing? Why?

And I certainly can’t imagine telling colleagues about kidney stones. So weird.