Ignoring Non Work Related Texts on Weekends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. This would also drive me nuts.

I think you are likely to get some responses telling you to have more compassion for the colleague admitted to the hospital, but I'm going to sidestep that.

I would not text your manager back - at least not right away. I'd text them later today/this evening and remind them that you were out of pocket this weekend for a private weekend with your spouse, that's it.

Tomorrow I'd go in and tell your manager that your weekend and family time is precious and you intend to mute the group text on the weekends for that reason. If they press, I'd invoke religion or privacy and reiterate that this is something you need to do for your family time.*

My own work text group is similar and there's almost no time in any part of my week that I want to get 20+ texts on anything.

*I'm basing this on a LDS colleague that I had like 20 years ago who was upfront that he did not work on Sundays - at all. This was law, so Sunday work was not unheard of.

Do not invoke religion unless it is true. Lying to your boss is not a good idea.
—employment lawyer

[Anonymous]

I think your manager‘s text was out of line, but I don’t think it’s that unusual to have a text exchange on the weekend with coworkers when one of them goes into the hospital. I have three different work chats. One is for a long-term program I run, there’s only three of us. Usually the chats are only about “I’m running late”, “I’m sick today and won’t be in today”, “my dad‘s in the hospital, I’m taking today off,” that kind of stuff. One lost his dad a few months ago so there were a lot of texts dealing with availability due to his dad’s decline. The other is literally going through kidney stones right now. Kidney stones are not a joke. And we are normal humans and respond with empathy.
I recently became a supervisor of a small branch when the other supervisor left. There’s only nine of us. There’s some of the above with people letting us know when they’re going to be out unexpectedly, and then I text when things are going on at work, like weather delays or (not kidding) building closure because of a water main break.
The last chat is the leadership chat that I was added to once I became a supervisor. There is very little chatter on this one aside from strictly work stuff like weather delays or building closure, or if my director is going to be out unexpectedly.
I don’t think 37 chats over a weekend when a coworker is in the hospital is out of line. I do think your managers text to you is though.
I’d go with option a, and get a different job where you’re a better fit.
Honestly, I think you’re kind of a shitty person that you won’t even text “Mark, I hope you feel better soon.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right now, #1.

If you really are being bombarded with non work texts on your personal line, I would address that later at a more appropriate time. Addressing it now right after co worker had health scare seems wrong.

This. Personally, I have zero interest in being bombarded by coworker-related texts over the weekend, including about Kevin's kidney stone or other health issue.

I wish I could like this 100 times.

Who the hell are these people that think their colleages who think they are owed attention? Do that not have lives of their own? How would they like their phone blowing up about........... my broken lawnmower.... or whatever issue I'm dealing with while they tend to their families' needs?

I fully admit I'm a bit of a misanthope but this angers me to no end. I would have lost it on your manager.

Did they seriously thnk Bill's kidney stone was important enough to not only interrupt your weekend but to actually attempt to shame you???

I honestly belive this is textbook harassment , and if this happens regularly that you could sue your employer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right now, #1.

If you really are being bombarded with non work texts on your personal line, I would address that later at a more appropriate time. Addressing it now right after co worker had health scare seems wrong.

Option 1 and deal with the weekend work text issues with your manager when you are calmer. If the guy legit had a heart attack that seems ike an ok reason for a group text but for other non-urgent matters folks should avoid. Do you not have Slack or Teams?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right now, #1.

If you really are being bombarded with non work texts on your personal line, I would address that later at a more appropriate time. Addressing it now right after co worker had health scare seems wrong.

This. You are right on principle but will sound cold and unfeeling.

+1 this whole culture would annoy me to no end but everyone will act oversensitive in light of the context.

I would be no-nonsense with the boss: "I had spotty reception while I was away. Glad it sounds like everything is fine."

That's not firm enough and almost comes across as apologetic for not responding sooner. You owe precisley zero response. If they aren't paying you on the weekends, they have no claim to that time at all.

[Anonymous]

Pretend you didn't get it, but starting looking for another job or another team in the company w a different culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. This would also drive me nuts.

I think you are likely to get some responses telling you to have more compassion for the colleague admitted to the hospital, but I'm going to sidestep that.

I would not text your manager back - at least not right away. I'd text them later today/this evening and remind them that you were out of pocket this weekend for a private weekend with your spouse, that's it.

Tomorrow I'd go in and tell your manager that your weekend and family time is precious and you intend to mute the group text on the weekends for that reason. If they press, I'd invoke religion or privacy and reiterate that this is something you need to do for your family time.*

My own work text group is similar and there's almost no time in any part of my week that I want to get 20+ texts on anything.

*I'm basing this on a LDS colleague that I had like 20 years ago who was upfront that he did not work on Sundays - at all. This was law, so Sunday work was not unheard of.

Do not invoke religion unless it is true. Lying to your boss is not a good idea.
—employment lawyer

Oh, very kindly, f**k off. I don't owe you a single truth about my free time. I'm not being deposed and you aren't the law.

[Anonymous]

Respond Monday morning to your manager , “I was on vacation with my husband and had my phone muted. I assumed anything that needed my urgent attention , I would get a phone call. I sent Kevin an individual text this morning wishing him a speedy recovery. For future, I want to let you be aware that when I am off on the weekends, unless there is an urgent matter, I won’t be available to my coworkers. If I’m expected to take call on the weekends and be available , let’s have a sit down with HR and detail what is expected of me on the weekends so there can be clear expectations on both ends”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. This would also drive me nuts.

I think you are likely to get some responses telling you to have more compassion for the colleague admitted to the hospital, but I'm going to sidestep that.

I would not text your manager back - at least not right away. I'd text them later today/this evening and remind them that you were out of pocket this weekend for a private weekend with your spouse, that's it.

Tomorrow I'd go in and tell your manager that your weekend and family time is precious and you intend to mute the group text on the weekends for that reason. If they press, I'd invoke religion or privacy and reiterate that this is something you need to do for your family time.*

My own work text group is similar and there's almost no time in any part of my week that I want to get 20+ texts on anything.

*I'm basing this on a LDS colleague that I had like 20 years ago who was upfront that he did not work on Sundays - at all. This was law, so Sunday work was not unheard of.

Do not invoke religion unless it is true. Lying to your boss is not a good idea.
—employment lawyer

"I was fired for telling my boss I was at Sunday Mass when I was really at Wegmans" said no one ever. You're not even a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

You say nothing. How is this a big deal? If asked say you went away for the weekend and this wasn't a work related emergency, you did not have cell phone service and there was nothing you could do.

[Anonymous]

Don't text back and for sure option 2 tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

You're having trouble showing compassion, either because you're naturally cold-hearted, or because you cannot deal with that much communication with colleagues.

You *should* have sent 1 text of support/commiseration about the medical issue. That's what a normal human being does.

But you didn't, because you're just so done with these people.

Your manager chided you because I'm guessing you never show compassion and never answer. So the one time you actually have a good excuse for not replying... happens to be the time your manager has had it up to there with your lack of social skills.

You're part of a chummy workforce, and honestly, you need to deal with it by giving them a modicum of chumminess back. Otherwise you're so obviously going to look like a weirdo!

No, don't report to HR. Try to send ONE text whenever there's a thread.

You are free to change jobs and try to find a workplace where they're all distant and uncaring like you.

[Anonymous]

#2 The do this because they get away with it. Don't let them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. This would also drive me nuts.

I think you are likely to get some responses telling you to have more compassion for the colleague admitted to the hospital, but I'm going to sidestep that.

I would not text your manager back - at least not right away. I'd text them later today/this evening and remind them that you were out of pocket this weekend for a private weekend with your spouse, that's it.

Tomorrow I'd go in and tell your manager that your weekend and family time is precious and you intend to mute the group text on the weekends for that reason. If they press, I'd invoke religion or privacy and reiterate that this is something you need to do for your family time.*

My own work text group is similar and there's almost no time in any part of my week that I want to get 20+ texts on anything.

*I'm basing this on a LDS colleague that I had like 20 years ago who was upfront that he did not work on Sundays - at all. This was law, so Sunday work was not unheard of.

This. You can also find religion too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right now, #1.

If you really are being bombarded with non work texts on your personal line, I would address that later at a more appropriate time. Addressing it now right after co worker had health scare seems wrong.

This. You are right on principle but will sound cold and unfeeling.

+1 this whole culture would annoy me to no end but everyone will act oversensitive in light of the context.

I would be no-nonsense with the boss: "I had spotty reception while I was away. Glad it sounds like everything is fine."

That's not firm enough and almost comes across as apologetic for not responding sooner. You owe precisley zero response. If they aren't paying you on the weekends, they have no claim to that time at all.

This is not really true in all companies. What if you’re an executive? In private equity? Etc