Helping DC through tough required class
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Anonymous
| Is there an option to take the class pass/fail? That’s what my DC did and it took the pressure off |
Anonymous
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I would do nothing to help her academically, especially since she's clearly already exploring the resources she has. She'll figure that part out. If she squeaks through with a middling grade, that's okay too. It's more important to get good grades in your major.
BUT I would figure out how to support her emotionally. I think your dynamic needs a reset. She is catastrophizing and your instinct is "how can I fix this". This is not a great dynamic and will only get worse as she gets older. I would try a few different things to see if you can shift it. I know this book is for younger kids but I recommend taking a look at How to Talk so Kids Will Listen, and How to Listen so Kids Will Talk. The first few chapters of that book are really just about communication, and developing empathy for kids by thinking about how you like to be spoken to when you are having a hard time. Like it's been a while, but I think they do hypothetical where you have a bad day at work and get yelled at by your boss, and then describe your partner and friends responding to you in ways that many parents speak to their kids -- telling them it's no big deal, telling them to get over it, overreacting and getting mad, trying to fix it, etc. When you think about it in an adult context, it's easy to see why none of this stuff works. Then the book mostly talks about validating, asking questions, expressing faith in them that they can figure it out, etc. It think it would actually apply well to this situation and is a chance for you to change how you two interact as she's getting older, and you become more of a friendly advisor than an authority figure. |
Anonymous
Step back, engage less on this topic. They need to do it or fail it and repeat. Worklife can be an every day slog, even if one has a highly-desired hard to get job: professor, physician, investment banker. A certain amount of drudgery and/or stress exists. Your kid needs to build resilience. They have to learn they can do hard things. |
Anonymous
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I offered some constructive advice above and now want to chime in to tell the jerks on this thread to sit down and work on their own issues, because something is clearly wrong in their lives for them to attack random strangers on a message board. Ironic that such an adult thinks they should offer advice on how to raise a well adjusted when they themselves seem unfit for civil society.
OP, you are right to want to help - if your kid were calling you weekly to complain about everything: her language class, her roommate, the food, the weather, her dorm room, the way someone looked at her ... sure, then it's a different issue (still one that a good parent would want to help their college kid deal with IMO). But your child's issue seems very localized to one academic requirement - it's great she is already accessing the resources available to her, but your support is also one of those resources. |
Anonymous
| Get a tutor. There are lots of online tutor sources that you can do it for under $15-25 an hour. Do it a few days a week. |
Anonymous
This, as long as you get pre-approval. My DS has taken two of the four required FL courses online through a CC in the summer. |
Anonymous
nope, two at ivies no hooks, and both schools have 5-day language options, i thought maybe it could be one of the same schools. plenty of helicopter parents there and at all schools, it really is best to step back based on the information OP provided. |
Anonymous
I’m sorry but this. I hated taking Spanish so much in HS and made sure I picked a college and major where no FL was required. This is on your kid. I wouldn’t have much sympathy for regular crying at this age over something as minor as this and would suggest they transfer if it’s causing this much stress in their life. One of mine is going to a school without a FL requirement for this reason. The other loves it so it wasn’t an issue. |
Anonymous
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Why is it hard for her? Languages are the easiest classes.
It's harder to help if you leave out why it's hard for her. |
Anonymous
| Languages are the hardest classes for some |
Anonymous
This is a good idea. If it's too late for this semester, then the next one. |
Anonymous
At most lacs, you can’t do this and it won’t count |
Anonymous
| What top 40ish college with a language requirement allows it to be fulfilled with community college credits or p/f? None that my kids attended. |
Anonymous
| Students with ADHD or other learning issues do not get language waivers in college. College is not a public education requirement, it’s optional additional education for the smart people. If the college requires something, all students need to take it. Some colleges allow community college classes or sign language courses to count. |
Anonymous
| Can they take the class pass/fail in the future? |